i ask myself do we as pple try to hard to get what we want in life or do we let life takes its course as planned, i ask this cause i dont understand my life at present im 36 have no friends,im scared of meeting pple in public suffer from some kind of depression,anxiety and tend to stay home alot as its a security blanket for me, no g/f pretty much independent,now my life wasnt always like this from the ages of 24 i had my first g/f and relationship as i one who didnt rush to have sex but wanted to make sure it was the right person.however it turned out bad after 2 yrs i caught her sleepin her around so i left it devastated me felt rejected and unworthy,felt like killin myself,what love can do to a person,so i moved on and started dating on chat room sites,i was hooked i was meeting and have sex with over 200 women or more for casual sex,fuck buddys,i was fucking milfs,married women,young,old i didnt give a fuck i was on a roll and was confident as ever i was gettin women left and centre,met new friends and everything was goin gr8,after playin the field for so long i wanted somethin more a relationship but i never commited as i had a fear of losing everythin and the case of being cheated on again,now i cant sustain a relationhsip anymore,they dont last and always get hurt,now i have nothin no friends no women to meet get rejected it just doesnt make sense what has happened one minute u have it all now i have nothing?i dont fear of being alone for the rest of my life but i still want someone there till the end.is this a time on my life were the universe has stopped me from meetin any1 or is this just karma resurfacing on what i have done in my life? | |
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