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Yep it sure does

Posted by Its time at March 30, 2012
Tags: Loneliness  2012 March  Relationship  Unemployment

Hi all,

This is my story. four years ago, life was pretty good. I was married to a man whom I considered to be my soul mate. A man I was so in love with. We did everything together he treated me like a princess. I had a good job and we had been married for five years and built a beautiful home together. I was so happy and life was so good. Then one day my husband asked me to log onto his computer and send a copy of his CV to him so he could apply for a job that he was interested in. So I logged on to his computer and found the file marked "MarK" and when I opened it, I didn't get his CV I got a series of short films, home made, of my husband going down on one of the women he worked with, oh boy what a complete shock. So I sent him a copy of it, I was so upset, that he jumped into his car and drove straight home from work. Telling me its not what you think it is, how can one be mistaken in thinking anything else, that that is my husbane going down on someone who was not me, but a female that he worked with. Nope no mistaking there. That was the beginning of the end. I then found out that my darling husband had been cheating on me for years, and his first affair was three months before he married me, and had a new female every year, five in five years, no bad hey. So we went to marriage counselling and he made all sorts of promises to me, and we tried to rebuild the relationship. didn't work, he just kept having affairs, so I kicked him out. He now lives with the last one who is 25 and has had two kids to her, she is 15 years younger then him. That was just the beginning for me. I was the one who was finanical, and my darling husband cleaned out the bank accounts and racked up the credit card to over 25 thousand dollars and tried to stick me with the bill. I got him to sign the house over to me and I borrowed 25 grand and paid him out: I put the house on the market and tried to sell it, the real estate in Australian had fallen on hard times and I wasn't able to sell it. I got breast cancer again for the second time in my life and got sacked from my job because I got cancer, I did sue my employer and won. I won 13 grand, big deal. Mean while I had to have chemo and couldn't work and couldn't pay my morgage and the bank is trying to foreclose. I have applied for hardship and the banks don't want to know me. then came the depression. The black dog, who still lives with me. I am broke, lonely and can see no end in sight. I have been to so many counselling sessions I now think that I could counsel others. I have applied for over 250 jobs and to date I have received a total of five replies from employers. Any day now, the bank will get their heavies to come and throw me out on the streets along with my goods and chattles. I am going to put up a tarp over my bed and live on my foot path, I don't have the funds for a bond to get a place to stay, and I have looked at the hovels that housing offer you, with the rest of all the down and outs who live on this planet, the drugo and alchos and the mentally challanged are all banged together in one apartment block, I feel if I end up there that I will end up one of them. I do have self esteeme, but its wearing thin. I see all the feel good stories on the TV and hear them on the radio, of people who get help from complete strangers who come and and remodel their homes, pay off their morgages, build them new homes. I don't want much, I just want a job, and the opportunity to be able to meet my financial obligations. Its not much. I am sick of being at home all alone day after day. I do work for the community, for two reasons I have always given back and the other to meet new people. I don't have any friends, and I do go out to meet people, but I just don't have any luck. I am on three dating sites and its full of hopefulls who really just want to meet someone, but they don't really as I am not 25 I am 52 and getting older each day. Without money one can't really do anything, I save up and go out once in a while. I have disconnected my phone, gave up my po box, sit in the dark at night so I don't have to use electricity, have bills coming out of my ears. I just need a break... one break..... if life continues on this down hill spiral, I think I am ready to check out. Being broke, jobless, homeless and lonely is just too much... there is nothing in any part of my life that is good. My health sucks, my relationship sucks and my finances suck...... Life just sucks.... what are we actually put on this planet for..... to suffer.. life to me has no meaning and with out meaning and purpose you have nothing.... nothing at all. Oh and my dog died as well, my little mate whom I have had for 15 years, He died of old age... lucky him.... I am a good person, and good people come last, I have never cheated on anyone, done bad things, I have always tried to live a good life, I have worked hard all my life and paid my taxes and my way, and because of one man, whom I loved, adored, trusted I was screwed over, and lost everything: it sucks being me...


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Comments:
By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 07:50

Good luck

There will be light at the end of the tunnel.
By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 09:02

Yes when you finally die and quit vitching about life.


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 10:34

My, that's pretty bad. :c


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 10:56

I feel the same way its hard if u lived where i do i would help u out and invite u in to stay need friends i hate being al by my self


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 12:10

Sad story you got. There are so so many. Matter of fact I met a woman like you once. She was in need of finances and down and out in her life for so many reasons. I put my hand out (opened my wallet) picked her up and she became this cocky little bitch who thinks she is entitled within 1 year. She forgot how she got where she is. She forgot who picked her up. She forgot what it was like to have nothing. She thought she was a housewife of orange county. Well guess what, I put her back where I found her. She became nobody, going nowhere, no place. Now, all the people she was rude to, she's trying to connect with for handouts etc.

The moral of the story, you were a fool to think you can go to counseling with a man who cheated on you. How in the world do woman fall for that shit. And the woman who think it helps or they recovered, I mean REALLY? He's still cheating on you, he just does it better without getting caught.. Stop thinking like a fool and screw your head on right. There are people in worse shape than you (my ex girlfriend). Stop looking back and move forward. Don't expect much and you won't get disappointed.

As for me? My hand will never go out again. I'd rather pay for my nights and they can leave in the morning. Woman change their mind based on which way the wind blows. I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you..

It felt good when I said step off.. See ya!
By anonymous at 13,Sep,13 14:41

Ur a real special big man with ur handouts u must feel so special


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 12:13

And to take offers from strangers on the internet is absurd. Then you fools wonder "WHY ME"? boo hoo..


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 13:12

The guy that made the two post above me is a bitter jackass. As for the women who posted this story, I wish you the best of luck. Please keep faith in yourself and in God.


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 17:18

I had a dog once too, his name was ADHD, the brown and white spotted dog. ADHD tore up all my mail every day for a week, so I sent myself a package of ADHD turds from the back yard and ADHD still kept tearing up the deliveries, and seemed to like eating the turds! So then I sent myself a package of banned Malathion badass bug killer and ADHD stopped tearing up the deliveries after that. In fact, ADHD stopped doing anything, including breathing. For awhile I thought he was just really sleepy, but then he started to stink bad, and his eyes turned all cloudy and his teeth fell out and he got real fat and farted a lot. So, I know how you feel as far as the dog thing goes.

Seems like the lesson here is to fuck anything you want even if you're married. Make shorts of yourself playing the pink oboe, and drink like a 50 dollar scratch lotto winning bum.

I don't think you should be on the dating sites, unless it's Imyourfatoldbitchwhowantstogetlaid.com, but if you must I'd say you should put that you're 23 with 38 DD's who just left the nunnery after 5 years because god told you to go experience the world and that you prefer wealthy blind males between the age of 87-93.

..also, I'd put some cotton in my ears. No one likes a middle age lake hag with bills randomly coming out of her ears.

Good luck, happy Jill!
By anonymous at 31,Mar,12 11:39

You're an ass.
By Truth at 04,Apr,12 01:17

...and?


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 17:30

Wow that's really a bummer and these insensitive hags don't make it any better. We were put her for a purpose. It is Gods purposes. If you seek after this God, your purpose will be revealed. Suffering here in earth is not what He wants, but we as a society chose to go against Him and in His divine knowledge we must reap the repercussions of our actions. The good news is that this very God endured the worst injustice in history so that we might have a relationship with Him and realize that this life is but a vapor and ever moment we endure, we can endure with Him and for Him.

I really do pray that the Lord comes to you and comforts you. Please be open to His leading.


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 18:10

I am so sorry. I genuinely hope that something great happens in your life soon enough.


By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 19:51

your story just made me cry, but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, dont let that man ruin your life, and dont take any notice of the people that write nasty comments they obviously have nothing better to do, in fact the only reason they logged on to this site in the first place is beacuse theyv obviously felt the same about their life. I think you need to try and build a little life for yourself, talk to professionals, help is out there and you are entitled to a life the same as anyone else.
wishing you all the best :)


By at 31,Mar,12 05:10

thats terrible. my sympathy-if it means anything, goes out to you


By anonymous at 31,Mar,12 10:24

LyndseeLoser:

Ok, here's what I think. Someone alluded ro it before. Can't check out because they're children who rely on you and you'd destroy their lives permanently and those of family. So, instead you do indeed suffer every single day, hoping, praying, trying to change things but guess what for most that doesn't happen so you give up that hope And become a zombie while others seem to thrive.

You mark down or cross off each passing day. Counting down to the day it all ends and you're free of the burden that is life, duty and responsibility. I wonder how many year, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds it is? It's marking time waiting to die. It's being in prison without the cell.

I've been in therapy for 20 years, taken every anti depressant known to man, gained 35kg as a result, I try to smile every day but the reality is for some no matter what we do life will never change.

I feel fairly certain I will be one of those people someone finds dead 2 weeks or 2 months later. No one will even notice. Not through my lack of trying or the signals I send out but because at its core unless they're is something in itmformthem most people aren't loyal, can be fickle and give up. All of a sudden everything is more important. You're accused of sucking the life out of people which is harsh and untrue when a little kindness, a walk or a movie would make such a difference but nope that great friend fades away because you don't fit their circle. They don't accept outsiders.

My best friends are my 2 dogs. Sadly I will outlive them. I don't consciously count down the days till I'm old enough to die. It's just there and I wait going through the monotony of everyday nothingness and loneliness. I have tried in vain, in earnest. I truly have. My conscience is clear there.

I have left a comment in my will. Don't bother with organizing a funeral because maybe 2-3 people MIGHT attend. What a waste of money. Whatever I have monetary wise someone happy soul can benefit from my final check from this miserable, mundane existence. Euthanasia should be allowed. Some of us just don't and will never fit. My therapist is rich - all of them and has anything ever changed? Nope. My hardwork, my positive tenacity got me no-where.

I sometimes envy people who can check out with no family left to hurt with pain. I cannot so I suffer and plod on. I am a wallflower.

One soon I shall be wilted and fade away and that is a spfact

End of story.


By anonymous at 31,Mar,12 11:45

Wow... people are amazing cruel sometimes.

I lost my husband 7 years ago to suicide. Being sad is one thing... being depressed is quite another.

If you can get up day after day even given sad circumstances and still see that life is worth living and knowing that even when it doesn't seem like it, you have an amazing number of people who actually love you and care about you, then you are not depressed, but sad and will make it through your situation.

If you are paralyzed by your sadness and cannot understand how to get through, feel that life is not worth living and feel that you are not loved, then you need to get some help.

Everyone on this planet is loved. You sometimes have no idea the people who love you and whose lives you make better by just being alive and part of their lives.

We get one life here on this planet. Some of our lives are filled with prosperity, love and happiness. Some of our lives are filled with challenges, sadness and despair. Most of our lives are filled with all of the above.

If you feel depressed, please get help. Your life is valuable and you are an amazing person. I don't even have to know you to know that.

I hope that you will see your values and see the light at the end of your dark tunnel.

I have also lost 2 amazing friends in the last 4 months to suicide. Both of whom had no idea at the time what they meant to their family and friends. I was not incredibly close with either of these amazing people, but admired both of them for their talents, compassion and for being the wonderful people they were.

Please know that even when you don't think there are people who care, there are. Reach out. It may be hard to find the people who are willing to step up and be there for you, but they are out there. Please do not give up.


By anonymous at 31,Mar,12 17:49

Become a counsellor. put an ad in a paper/on the internet. Pretend you have qualifications lol
By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 04:52

i think you're right. And thank you for making me smile a little. :)


By anonymous at 02,Apr,12 09:48

Been there but hang in and things will change!


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