I am writing this because i am lonely and don't have anyone to talk to and maybe it will make me feel better. I am 27 and a guy and i should be happy because i have health and a family. but i have never had a girlfriend and never get laid or have any ladies who want to spend time with me. i pay for prostitutes like once a year and it sucks. i try to not masturbate but then i dream about sex and it comes out at night. i am so frustrated to not get any women. when i go out and see happy people or see someone i like and they ignore me it sucks. there have been many times when i tried to get to know someone politely but they always reject me and call me a creep. i try to be happy and do good for my family but seeing women or thinking or sex makes me feel impotent and frustrated. i get so angry and can not deal with anything. i have a very large penis but it has never helped me to get laid. women always find me uninteresting and weird. i can't drink alcohol and that makes meeting people harder. i know no one cares but life shouldn't be this way. i think about the iroquois nation, their name meant 'people who are building a longhouse' and their philosophy was the best mankind knows, to always be in a community, modern capitalism and american culture has destroyed people's communities here, and there are so many people in pain because of it. lack of community is the root of most problems in the world. biologically humans must relate with each other to function properly. people don't know or care and take their relationships for granted, and i know i am getting sick from loneliness but have a hard time finding any sense of community. i went through schizophrenia in my early twenties and it was very terrible. i recovered which i am proud of but no one wants to know or cares. sometimes i think i will die soon and not ever know what it's like to be with a women who likes me. and then to be surrounded by so many people who have that in spades and take it for granted makes me sad. i don't know what to do because i feel like things are getting worse.