How to overcome
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Posted by juice at March 31, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 March  Relationship

I am 23, and a virgin. I never had a relationship, just don't know how to do it, so I surfed the net and tried to learn some tricks for hooking up with women, nothing worked and in the process I developed such a low self esteem that I couldn't even function. I had severe anxiety issues, whenever I was around somebody or in a social situation I couldn't function normal, I would stumble upon the things in my way, I would try to walk like a macho man just to hide my anxiety which would make me look like I am gonna beat the hell out of somebody, so it only scared the people around me. I approached this girl called Tanya in my college and she gave me her number. But I didn't know where to take the relationship and I messed it all up. I used to see her in the college everyday and it only deppressed me further. My grades fell dramatically and no one could understand what was wrong. I kept doubting my body language all the time and always felt like there is something wrong with what I am doing, maybe I should do it some other way, like they do it in the hollywood movies, but was never satisfied with myself. The deppression became severe and I started to experience episodes of vomiting. I would puke everyday in the shower. Things got worse, and I wanted to end my life, not because I hated it, but because it became difficult for me to operate normally in society due to the anxiety. I stole 5000 bugs from my home and asked one of my friends to buy me a gun and told him that its one of my friends who needs it, but the truth was that I wanted to kill myself. But it was election time so he told me that it will be very difficult to get a gun. Things were really all fu**ed up. I couldn't even talk to people and was always a reason for uncomfortable silences everywhere I went. Then I started experiencing headache and I thought maybe I should see a psychitrist. The psychitrist put me on anti-depressants and seemed like they were working and I was feeling better. My headache was gone so were my vomiting episodes, and recently things were looking better so I asked my psychitrist to reduce my dose. But two days ago I saw a girl and I approached her, we exchaged numbers and yesterday the two of us had a lot of beer together and then I asked her if we could have sex, she stripped in the back seat of my car, but for some reason I couldn't manage an erection so I didn't do anything more than a little kissing and foreplay, and today I don't know why I seem to be slipping into the same deppression zone again despite my meds...


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Comments:
By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 08:46

I suggest you google Joel Osteen and watch some of his videos. Until you get off of medicine and realize that God has bigger plans for you, you will be stuck.


By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 11:17

It could be due to the adverse effect of the meds that you're taking so you can't get an erection. Have you asked your doc. about it? At any rate, i feel your grief. I have such a bad self-esteem and can't function normally around other people too. I always get this feeling that there's something wrong with the way i do things like walking, talking etc. and people staring at me making me wanna pass out. But anyway, my last word for you is; Don't lose your grip on life. Sounds bromide but it gets better in time. :)


By Cursed at 01,Apr,12 14:14

For some people anti-depressants can make it hard to get a "hard-on". Don't stop taking your meds though! Discuss your situation with your doctor, and perhaps they can advise you on what to do-
It's not uncommon, in the face of panic and pressure to lose the ability to "perform". So, give it another try- in a more relaxed, non-impulsive setting, and I'm sure you will be fine-
Good luck-
Cursed


By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 20:52

I know you are young and that, but get some Viagra dude. The lack of an erection is ABSOLUTELY to do with SSRIs. I've had the same issues before myself (and I'm in my 20s) just relax, its sounds like you are doing much better 8-)


By anonymous at 05,Apr,12 03:26

smoke a little weed it helps my axiety and social awkwardness. not because its "cool" it just calms my nerves down, it may do the same for you. maybe not the first two times but after it will. you will feel more relaxed, and calm if youre anything like me; always shaky and anxious.


By anonymous at 06,Apr,12 22:55

I get what your saying dude. Im going to turn 21 on april 7, i have no girlfriend, never had one, have not been to college yet, and have no job. Even though I am smart I feel stupid, even though i'm good-looking i feel ugly since i recently cut my hair which i loved,(I had spikey anime hair, and yes im asian) and i feel ashamed of myself because i let myself loose a lot of muscle which i was proud of myself for. Even though I have the building blocks for a better future at the moment i feel like complete shit and had been considering playing hangman outside.. but i havn't.

Am i hoping things will get better? Idk. Am I taking deppression pills? Yes at 40mg once a day. Even though it only seems to "mellow" me out and not cause the deppression to cease alltogether I am still trying to hang in there because for some reason i FEEL that it will get better. Im not a optimistic guy, but atleast i still have hope.


By take a look at it! at 26,Oct,13 02:49

k9Pi1o Great, thanks for sharing this article.Really looking forward to read more. Cool.


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