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Fucked up life

Posted by anonymous at April 1, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude  Family

I just spent the last two hours in the stairwell of my dorm crying. Not a single person stopped to ask if I was ok. I had alcohol in my system and deadly pills in my hand. If I were a tad bit more drunk I would have taken those pills and not be here right now. 2 months ago I was checked into a psychiatric center for depression. Clearly nothing is helping me. I go to school 2000 miles from my home and have no friends. No one to talk to.

Starting 9 years ago, for 2 years, my oldest brother would molest me, take advantage of me, expose himself to me, watch me while I showered or changed, and force me to do things.

I have been traumatized ever since. Now, everyone loves my brother. They think he's the greatest kid ever. No one knows about our past. And I can't tell anyone. I'm scared of him and the memories haunt me to this day.

My depression has gone on for 4 years now and I can't hold on much longer. Just wanted to make my story heard. Thanks


Similar Entries:
Lifes so fucked i dont know where to start!!! June 23, 2011
FUBAR: Fucked Up Beyond All Repair March 26, 2010
Fucked up January 11, 2012
FUCK EVERYTHING January 7, 2012
depressed October 14, 2010

New Comment

By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 08:18

Dear anonymous- i'm sorry for your pain. I have two suggestions: first call the DC Rape Crisis Center on their toll free number at 202-333-rape; it is staffed 24 hours a day by trained female counselors. It sounds like you have a lot of unresolved pain from your past which is understandable, but I assure you there is a way forward. How do I know? Because I also was there. 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are molested as kids; it is traumatic and a therapist trained in trauma can help. Also, your university likely has a counseling center. It is good to reach out to a number of people to see what works for you. The organization RAINN has online counselors that are completely anonymous, this is another good option. Drinking makes you numb the pain but alcohol is a depressant so avoid it. And remember many people - most people - have severe issues they are hiding, so it is not that they don't care about you it is that they can't deal with their own issues, so how can they help you. Please call the DC Rape Crisis Center to start. Love, your friend T

By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 11:22

Hi.... I take it that you're in the USA? I am in the UK so it may differ somewhat in legal terms.

Look, I am a qualified hypnotherapist and I have had several people like you and the only way forward for you is to tell someone what happened. I am sorry but thats the only way and then you will / can move on. The thing is honey... what have you got to lose in telling someone about what happened? Nothing.. you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!! Please go for it... I have a daughter too and I would be very sad if she was in the same position as you.... PLEASE tell the police and then move on and hopefully you can be a happier person... lifes too short! All the very best!!!!

By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 13:23

Your brother is a pedofile!!!If your brother ever have kids he WILL molest them. YOU MUST TELL ON HIM BEFORE HE BECOMES A PRIST IN A LOCAL CHURCH!!!!

By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 19:44

im really sorry to hear that i know what it feels like to be alone my life currently sucks also if u ever need anyone to talk to or just a new friend im here for u and im not a psycho im just another heartbroken lonely girl who hates life in nj.
hang in there sweetie ;)

By Truth at 01,Apr,12 20:10

I'm sorry, if i saw you in the stairwell crying I would have kicked you and given you something to REALLY cry about.

One thing about your story is weird, and maybe it's the answer to your troubles! Everything about your life seems to be in "2's" 2 hours crying, 2 months ago in the booby hatch,school is 2000 miles from home, 2 years of being diddled by your brother, depression for 4 years, which is 2 squared!!!!

Holy fuck! The answer is to get away from 2's!! I'd try 3's. You could do 1's, but three seems better, it's more like you moved on from 2's rather than being "pre 2".

So, go sit in the stairwell, get 3 times as drunk, and then cry for 3 hours. Then, quit school and move 3000 miles away from it, probably to iceland or greenland, but be advices that iceland is green and greenland is icy...dumb fucking vikings. Then, go home and beat the shit out of your older brother 3 times and tell 3 relatives that your brother played slot machine with your cock for a long time and his new nickname should be Baby Fucker Jimmy.

Then go fuck yourself and your depression 3 times and I'm pretty sure your emo goth boy depression will go away on it's own. If not, go buy some beef hearts at save-u-mart, put them in your pocket and jump in the lion pen at your local zoo. Problem solved!

But stay the fuck away from them 2's
By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 22:28

You are the scum of this earth and are going to straight to hell after your worthless life is over. This is people's lives were talking about not some comedy show. So fuck off wanker. you prolly live in your mums basement whos never had a friend in his life. Pathetic
By anonymous at 01,Apr,12 22:30

btw im talking to TRUTH. I'm sorry bout what ur brother did 2 you but please you must report him. If you need help or someone to talk to please post ur email and I will get to you
By Truth at 03,Apr,12 01:12

Please don't call yourself a's faggoty and does no one any good, wanker.
By anonymous at 02,Apr,12 04:08 Fold Up

exactly what i'm about to say!
By Truth at 03,Apr,12 01:22 Fold Up

Jeebus tells us there is no hell, anus licker. So go fuck your dead mother's corpse you work fucking turd beast.

By Chiana at 24,May,16 19:45

Very cool app Ryan. I look forward to checking it out myself, resesdlarg! Also sharing it with the folks at Healthy Kids Concepts, who like you, are passionate about getting kids to eat healthy food. Would love to meet you next time I’m in Portland

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