I'm a 21 year old who was just arrested for the first time. After a very stupid alcohol-fueled night I'm facing a mischief under $5000 charge and my court date is a little over 2 months from now. I'm away at college right now in my junior year, but for the past several months i haven't really felt like i should be here. I'm not putting any effort into my studies and I feel worthless, but I don't have the motivation to pull myself out of this rut. I've been given every opportunity to succeed: i skipped a grade in grade school, went to a private high school, and got into a prestigious college. I feel as if I have not been doing a good job with my life in general. My 2 older brothers have both gradusted from college and have started their careers, one is to be married in october.
I've been dealing with depression on and off for the past several years. My Mom has been battling bi-polar for as long as I can remember and a couple of years ago she attempted to take her own life. Her marriage to my Dad has been far from perfect and she essentially blames my Dad for her mental illness because she was not involved in family decisions and neglected.
I've yet to tell a soul about my arrest, but there's a chance I could have this on a criminal record for life. A record, in my eyes, makes me having what I would consider to be a successful life extremely difficult. I don't know how to tell my family or relatives about getting arrested, but I hate the idea of burdening myself with another secret.
I've never seriously considered suicide and am not considering it now, but even before my arrest I was unsure of where my life was heading and was not hopeful for the future. Then i found myself in handcuffs...