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i fu*ked up

Posted by anonymous at April 2, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Justice

I'm a 21 year old who was just arrested for the first time. After a very stupid alcohol-fueled night I'm facing a mischief under $5000 charge and my court date is a little over 2 months from now. I'm away at college right now in my junior year, but for the past several months i haven't really felt like i should be here. I'm not putting any effort into my studies and I feel worthless, but I don't have the motivation to pull myself out of this rut. I've been given every opportunity to succeed: i skipped a grade in grade school, went to a private high school, and got into a prestigious college. I feel as if I have not been doing a good job with my life in general. My 2 older brothers have both gradusted from college and have started their careers, one is to be married in october.

I've been dealing with depression on and off for the past several years. My Mom has been battling bi-polar for as long as I can remember and a couple of years ago she attempted to take her own life. Her marriage to my Dad has been far from perfect and she essentially blames my Dad for her mental illness because she was not involved in family decisions and neglected.

I've yet to tell a soul about my arrest, but there's a chance I could have this on a criminal record for life. A record, in my eyes, makes me having what I would consider to be a successful life extremely difficult. I don't know how to tell my family or relatives about getting arrested, but I hate the idea of burdening myself with another secret.

I've never seriously considered suicide and am not considering it now, but even before my arrest I was unsure of where my life was heading and was not hopeful for the future. Then i found myself in handcuffs...


New Comment

By at 02,Apr,12 12:04

Take a deep breath. It is not the end of your world, just a time out. Get an attorney for your court date, as a first offense you should be directed to a program for alcohol abuse. This is, unfortunately, a common enough situation for college kids.

Tell the folks. It makes a man of you and avails you of their support even if it comes with lecturing.

It's OK at 21 to take a break from university. A little hiatus can clear your head. Talking with a therapist would be wise, especially with a family history of mental illness.

Face up and cheer up and know that you will recover from this misstep.

By Cursed at 02,Apr,12 13:04

Hey kid-
Geezzz, alcohol makes you do the darndest things! In anycase, you gotta a lot of decisions to make! Stop wasting your money if college isn't your gig! Otherwise, SMARTEN UP! You're wasting your money and your parents money, if you aren't serious about school. What are you going to school for? Do you have a solid plan about what you want to do when you finish? I would imagine, like most of us, you had to take out student loans to pay for school? Once you quit going, you can't defer those payments... just a thought...
SO either get the "SPRING BREAK FEVER" out of your system, or stop wasting time. Either way, you have work to do! If I were in your shoes, I would continue my education- Cause the "REAL WORLD" isn't kind. Jobs are hard to come by these days, and if you are a student, you can still work part time and defer your student loans. Anyhow, I would confide with your folks about the trouble you're in, they may be pissed at first, but at least you'll get it off your chest. And like Maura mentioned, it will show your parents that you've made a mistake, you've learned a lesson, your sorry, and it won't happen again!
Be strong. Work hard for what you want! Stop comparing yourself to your siblings, and do things that are going to get you ahead, not behind!
By anonymous at 03,Apr,12 00:16

Thanks, I appreciate your answer. I feel like if I told my parents that I would give up drinking from now on that might lessen the blow. I don't consider myself an alcoholic by college student standards. I drink usually one night a week, but almost always a lot in that one night. Maybe I could take a (very long) break from drinking and maybe drink socially when i have my life figured out a bit better.

By anonymous at 02,Apr,12 16:05

dude just complete your college , and time will heal everything .. remember tell your self everyday that everything's just gonna be fine ., i am facing the same kinda problem but we should be strong this is not the end..

By anonymous at 02,Apr,12 16:46

no!! don't die!!!!

By anonymous at 02,Apr,12 22:01

look, get a lawyer or at least make it clear to the judge you are really sorry - ask for community service with your record cleared after one year; I don't know where you are but many judges are sympathetic in such cases if you are sincere. You are young enough that either way if you stay clean it will make no difference after a few years; but I very much doubt it will be more than community service and ask for your record to be cleared after you complete it.

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