Imagine how it feels to be at 27 and knowing that your life will never be even 1/4 as good as it used to be. That is me. Every day I wake up hoping to die but I am too much of a f%^&^cking coward to kill myself. Beleive me, Ive tried but every time I get to the "moment of truth" I cannot go through with it. Lame, I know. I wish a f%^&in meteor would fall out of the sky and bash my brains out or somethin crazy, at least I might get a news article. But back to why I feel this way. I gre up in a pretty much perfect home, but once I got to college I started experimenting with drugs and before you know it I have a major opiate addiction. Well seeing as my career is a pharmacist that does not go together very well. I graduated pharmacy school and went to work as a pharmacist, did very well, 100K plus salary, unlimited access to drugs, life was amazing. Now after I am caught, Ill be LUCKY if I am alble to get a job at f&%^ing McDonalds. I know my pharmacy career is over because who the fuck would hire a pharmacist who was stealing drugs on the side? Wasted my entire education and basically the past 9 years of my life. My family has disowned me, no friends at all apart from other drug addicts that I met in rehab.. Completely broke, 100%. Unable to find even a minimum wage job cuz drug addicts are not even human in todays society. God I wish I had the balls to be able to end it all but I dont so my life will be a steaming pile of dogshit for the rest of my life | |
It doesnt matter who wouldnt hire you, it only matters who would. And the only way to find out who will is to convince them your the man for the job. You are not defeated just because the odds are not in your favor.
I guess you could try becoming self employed and selling stuff or even window cleaning as self-employed? I think being self-employed you're kinda OK with a criminal record? If you were a pharmacist, you're pretty smart. If you get into abseiling and construction/window cleaning (ropes access), a number of the people I've met doing this are primarily climbers and seem pretty smart, we can have interesting conversations...
Opium addiction would be a problem on some sites but I've only ever been drug tested in a job interview (when I wasn't self-employed). You'd have to learn a skill (window cleaning without rope access is an easyish and cheap start but you gotta be fast). Learn how to clean on youtube and practice on friends windows.
Sorry about the detail. I dunno, do whatever the f*** you want.
Anti-depressants helped me a bit, maybe it was just placebo but yeah.
If all of this fails then give me an e-mail: gjedreaper@yahoo.co.uk and we can at least swap tips on the easiest, least painful way to die. I've started researching and might be able to help?
Good luck yo.
You have the knowledge & the brains, just need to prove yourself. It's not over; people here love stories bout second chances & picking yourself up again, beating the odds, & all that jazz.
People that aren't addicts just don't understand...
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