Been a tough 40 years of my life.
Upbringing was good, mum and dad did the best they can for me, and are still to this day the only people i talk to - shame they live 3000+miles away.
Im very alone, causes me to go thru long bouts of depression, and my success rate in relationships is dismal. Have been married twice, and seems im always the root of all evil in both relationships. All i seem to get is "you need to change" - im a listener, and listen to what ever was told to me, and yes, have tried tenfold to change whatever it is that bothers them.
I work endless hours to keep myself busy, current wife (#2) is happy working opposite shifts to me, and in my view seems to enjoy not really seeing me. She is my life and love her dearly, but alas, she wants out and that kills me.
Im very lonely on a day to day basis, seems whatever friends i once had used me for whatever they could. My phone never rings, and i spend most of my non-working time lying on the couch watching TV or going to bed at 6pm.
Ive given everything i can to everybody thats entered my life, all i want(ed) was 1 person to treat me well, 1 friend, 1 person to count on........
If i died tomorrow, id not plan a funeral, as id be the only person there.
I just want somebody to want to be with me, im fed up with feeling worthless and alone. | |
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