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I am so lonely

Posted by Silicone Lover at April 5, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Loneliness

a/s/l 23/M/IL.

I took 4 years to get an 2 year degree in college. All through grade school to high school, I kept to myself and had very few friends. The few friends I made, we no longer talk. Even in college, I try to get study buddies, but after the class is over, we do not see each other. I wish I could attend party universities, but then again, I might just be alone again, because of the way I am.

I am not very charismatic, because I do not know what to say or say it well enough to fit in with the guys or charm the girls. I am not very smart, because I am a slow learner and I am forgetful like a high functioning retard. I am short and weak for a guy. I am fat and ugly...

I still live with my parents. I am unemployed, but have not really been looking hard enough for a job. My mom recently left my dad. My dad also told me to get a job and move out.

This is where the story really begins:

I used up my savings to buy a small silicone love doll instead of a car to drive to work or rent my first apartment. I did this in desperation, because I have never had a girl friend and had accepted the fact that I never will. Also was tired of jerking off.

I was happy for a little while until I realized how empty it was. I would spend hours talking to it, but I know she will never tell me what I need to hear. I would spend hours cleaning and dressing her up, but she would have no where to go. I wasted time that should have been spent finding a job, working out, studying, or socializing with people. Simply put, I was doing the exact opposite of what I needed to do to not be lonely.

I know that I cant introduce my doll to my parents. They simply just wont understand me. I cant take my doll out in public without raising eyebrows. I cant enjoy a romantic dinner with her, because she does not eat.

If you have ever watched the movie, Lars and the Real Girl, then you would know what it is like that I am going through. I am just like that Lars character, except I dont have a job or a girl interested in me. I am very immature, awkward and uncomfortable to be around.

However, I do not regret buying this silicone love doll. I feel good about knowing that even if I do not get some girl's number, I have my doll waiting in bed for me. Also, I am glad I do not have to listen to a women nag, complain or bitch about shit, because my doll does not say a word.

Most importantly, a living breathing person can not be substituted for a life like object. Despite all the benefits that my doll has brought me, it would not be as great as having a lady love me for who I am, marrying her and being a father some day. I still need real human interaction, emotions and conversation. Or at least that is what I am convinced to believe.


Similar Entries:
Just sad and lonely October 26, 2011
girl November 11, 2011
why m i so lonely  June 25, 2011
untitled story August 26, 2011
Mrs Lonely  February 23, 2012

New Comment

By anonymous at 05,Apr,12 10:12

Lol...funny shit man.

By anonymous at 05,Apr,12 10:42

reminds of myself...
By anonymous at 05,Apr,12 10:43

*reminds me of myself

By at 05,Apr,12 16:35

Sorry bro but your going to have to get rid of that doll. Despite whatever you think you are, there is some girl out there that will love you for you. She may not be some super hot model or something but there is atleast ONE girl out there that will love you.

I suggest getting rid of the doll and doing what you just said you SHOULD have done. I.e. exercise, read improving books, search forums for advice, etc

By Silicone Lover at 05,Apr,12 16:58

You are right tuffluck, but I just do not feel ready yet to give her up.

Also, I do not represent all of the silicone love doll owners. What I say and do pertains to me only.

By at 05,Apr,12 17:01

I'm sorry but i would prefer having a real woman nag, complain and bitch about shit than just fucking a doll.
I mean after you do the nasty with that thing XD... don't you want any sort of interactions??? I mean there is actually more to a woman than her pussy dude :D ( iknow ... hard to beleive)
You know what is your problem and you know how to solve it through socializing and finding work (even work is a good place to socialize), your only problem is your self-esteem.
When I'm in an excrutiating, horrible embarrassing moment, I just follow the motto '' If life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail, you only live once'', then people who raise their eyebrows just smile or laugh about it and tell me I'm something else. And I'm pretty sure nobody will care if you do something stupid once or twice, nobody is perfect.Life is a grat oppurtunity, wasting it by being afraid or worried about what other people think would be just retarded.
By Silicone Lover at 09,Apr,12 07:39

You are absolutely right. My problem is my self-esteem. The doll just doesn't help my case.

I cant change over night, but I can do it one step at a time.
Right now I have my doll wrapped up in the box ready to ship away. So, if I really wanted her badly, I would have to unseal that box again, which could cause me to lose my boner by that time.

By anonymous at 05,Apr,12 17:32

I wish I had a love doll.

By anonymous at 05,Apr,12 17:34

How many times a day do you have sex with her?
You seem like a very caring man.
By Silicone Lover at 09,Apr,12 07:42

I would have sex with her 3 times one day of the week. Some times twice a week. Defiling her and having to clean the mess is a factor that discourages me to fuck it.

By at 05,Apr,12 18:40

Why dont you move in with your mom and fuck her? She probably wont charge you rent. It would be a win win for you, you freak. Or you could suck off your old man in lew of rent money. And burn that doll you idiotic pathetic, retard. Fuck you I hate you.
By anonymous at 07,Apr,12 22:22

By Silicone Lover at 09,Apr,12 07:49 Fold Up

Congrats on being the first troll.

I will feed you this one time.

It surprising to see somebody this upset about some unlucky guy who is so lonely that he attempts to substitute a doll for a real life girlfriend. Know that you are fortunate to have loving parents and a girl friend, because I dont.

By anonymous at 06,Apr,12 02:27

Knowing that you have a doll to come home to (no pun intended) will stop you from trying that extra bit to be social and find someone. It's holding you back more than helping.

By anonymous at 08,Apr,12 17:30

Get a fleshlight instead bro its only like 40 bucks. You can take it with you to college and use it when the teacher is not lookin. That way you can be productive too.
By Silicone Lover at 09,Apr,12 07:52

I first started off buying a fleshlight. After I tore it apart with my small dick, I bought other fake pussies from Japan. Soon I was buying silicone hips. The next step was to buy a doll.

By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 20:04

I think you're crazy. And a pervert who gets off on sharing his nasty crap with others. Disgusting.
By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 20:34

who said I was sharing anything? I am not sharing my doll with anyone.

By anonymous at 13,Apr,12 08:07

just fuck your self

By Silicone Lover at 22,Apr,12 15:51

I am absolutely baffled at how some people are so upset upon reading this that they have to say some very mean and hurtful things. What the fuck is your god damn problem? Consider your self lucky that you do not have this problem.

I am not doing anything to hurt anyone. I am not bothering any girls. I am not stealing any other guy's girlfriend.

I cant stop you from coming here and wasting your time trolling people.

So what the fuck is it about what I typed had offended you so much to warrant a go fuck yourself or fuck your parents?

Its like I am talking to a bunch of kids.

By anonymous at 04,Jul,12 05:18

People are so Fucking mean when its not up close man. I've been challenging people and giving them Fucking reality checks for so long. But I'm reaching the understanding as I'm getting too old for this shit that I can't fight them all. There's just too many. And I'm getting tired. I'm trying to smile more and to ignore people. It's tough to do for me but I'm getting the hang of it. I just might might b able to pull this shit off and fool them all into thinking I don't care. That pisses them off more than anything. LOL. One step at a time bro. Good luck.

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