I've been smoking weed for a year now. It's like a hobby for me. I've been feeling depressed for a long time and have been smoking marijuana for some relief. It helps me sleep and I feel great when I go to school (which I hate very much). But it's so expensive for me. I have no job and to get large quantities, I usually need to have a large amount of money, which my mom gives me 20 dollars every two weeks. That means every two weeks, I spend all of my money on weed, and then I'm completely broke again. I'm always broke and I know it's my fault but I have to choose between being broke or being depressed. Being depressed does not feel good, so I spend all of my money on weed. Not even realizing that I'm going to feel depressed again shortly after it gone. But I feel like I need it to feel like myself again. My friends and my mom tell me that weed is a big waste of money and I shouldn't do it, but the only time I ever feel alive is when I'm on it. I have no money at all right now and I just spent 30 dollars on weed and it's gone today. I feel horrible. My mom doesn't want me smoking weed and I hate that I spent my allowance on it. I have to wait one more week to get some more money. I have no money at all and I seriously feel like crying. I know the simple solution would be to just quit, and I've already considered that. One main reason why I feel depressed all of the time is that I feel alone, I don't really have any friends to hang out with. I do have one, but his mom usually never let's me (or anybody) really come over. So I usually just sit home bored like a loser, and marijuana usually comes to my aid (should I have the money). It's spring break right now for my school and I'm sitting at home without a damn thing to do. I feel so ashamed of myself for letting myself get so hooked on this drug that I told myself I'd never get hooked on when I was little. I think I'm going to quit. I feel like I have no life whatsoever. I'm just sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I desperately need friends to hang out with. I spent serious time thinking about this, but I've found the main reason why I felt I needed marijuana. My friend that I mentioned earlier, was the friend that I use to hang out with all of the time, every time there was no school, I'd usually always be over there. But ever since his mom restricted how many times I can visit (I'm usually over there a lot), I've been bored without a thing to do. When I hung out with him, I had no use for marijuana because I was always having fun, I used to laugh at the thought of doing drugs. I had more friends, but they all moved away, which is another reason why I've sunk into marijuana use. While everyone else is out enjoying themselves, I'm sitting here like an idiot wishing I didn't waste my every 2 week allowance on marijuana. I don't really expect anyone to feel sorry for me, but I need some advice, if you've done drugs before you'd how I feel right now. The withdrawal stage in drug use is agonizing. I've already got my mind set on quitting, that's burned into my brain. I really want to get a job, too, but no one in my town is hiring, and when they were hiring, I've applied at every place and didn't get a call back. I'm 17 and never had a job, a girlfriend, a car...nothing. I'd settle for any job, any car, and I'm not really that concerned about a girlfriend right now, but I just thought I might mention that anyway. I'd probably have a girlfriend right now if I had transportation and money. I feel so low right now, that I've even looked up a website like this to discuss how low I'm feeling with just anybody who reads this. | |
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