I am 43 years old have no job, no money, and no relationship. I have a son in college who i can't help thank God that he received a basketball scholarship bc if he didn't i don't know where he would of been. I am a poor excuse for a human being and i hate being ME! I have issues from since i was a young girl growing up because i was always ridiculed for being too black with ugly skin and no hair. I was teased horribly in school and even by my family members. I grew up with no self esteem that's why i was treated so badly by my son's "sperm donor". I never had a boyfriend that wanted to claim me so now i grew up with no boyfriend experience only men that wanted to use me. I am a very loyal, and nice person to people and they always treat me like garbage in the end. I am a disappointment to my son and my family. My son secretly thinks i am a loser and can't stand to be around me. I live with my parents still who treats me like i am still 10 years old and berate me any chance they get. I am a joke to the entire world! Sometimes i question God why was i born? No answer. I wish the earth could swallow me up, i would be gone and i would be a bad memory for everyone. I am out of shape, my hair is balding, and i am more uglier. Why remain on this earth to die unhappy with a broken heart? This is cruelty for me to remain on this earth because i feel it will not get better but only worse. I am so tired and i want my son to forget i ever exist. This is my pathetic unproductive existance......... | |
You're a human being with no since of compassion for others. I can only imagine that one day when you're depressed, people will be just as cold to you as you were now. What goes around comes around.
Your situation sucks but how much are you to blame? 43 is young enough to find happiness. Do it!
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