LIFE SUCKS

My lifea

Im 25 a mother of 2 and a wife. I have a twin sister that is nothing like me! we used to be close but now were not. I also have a younger sister and she is a peice of shit. Both my sisters have kids. My mom basically raises them. My dad works to provide for all 6 of them on his income only. I wanted more kids i am a great mom but when i had my son i lost vision in my eyes. Too risky the docs say. I hate how a woman can lay in a bed and have sex and get pregnant and just give that kid away. I hate how the system works its redicilous. Man if i could have just one more it would be awsome. I have a daughter also. She is actually my step daughter. Ive had her since birth. The mom is a peice of shit that chose her boyfriend. I was a senior in high school when we first got her and i basically took over when my husband was too lazy to deal with her. I know this sounds selfish but i feel that my son was robbed. I had my daughter and i had to take all the attention off of my newborn to take care of someone elses child. I am a very aggravated person i get adjated very easily. I take it out on my husband way too much. He thinks that a marriage should not have arguements at all. when we do its divorce divorce divorce. I hate it i cant stand it much longer. I hate everyting about myself. i resently went on a diet because i thought my husband thought i was fat. There is not intimate relationship. When i want sex he doesnt want it. I have to basically wait till he is ready and that is usually around his masterbation habbit he has. I feel second. I am worthless to him i dont do anything right. I hate my life. I lost about 20 pounds and i thought that would change the way he looks at me but i was wrong. Im just venting.