I'm 29 years old. I've been unemployed for almost two years. I graduated from college in 2009 and can't get a job to save my life. I work for free as an intern creating and maintaing a church website for a local church who treats me like I should be proud to work for fucking free even though my family is struggling. I fill out online applications everyday all day and usually get no response. I have been on several job interviews for jobs in my field only to be met with rejection. I am willing to work anywhere but I can't get a job. Even janitor jobs require at least a year previous experience. The last job I held about a month ago turned out to be a door-to-door vacuum cleaner scam. I have little hope for the future. I live with my mother, my sister and my brother and none of us have jobs. We are living off my father's life insurance money and my mother's retirement fund. I want to help out badly but I need a steady job and that is hard to come by.
I'm an alcoholic. The only thing I learned how to do was binge-drink in college. I became a huge binge-drinker and party animal just to fit in with my mindless college classmates; none of whom I speak to anymore. Since graduating college, I have racked up two DUI's. I was beaten so badly by a "drinking buddy" on the path last year that I woke up in the hospital getting stitches in my face. I am now an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous, which is my only social life. There are a lot of cute young girls who go to the youth AA meetings where I live, but I am a jobless loser with a damaged self-esteem. Although it is against the ideals of the 12-step program, I still smoke weed on a pretty regular, sometimes daily, basis with some of my old friends. I don't feel bad about this at all. Smoking weed is one of the only things that makes me happy, relaxed and content with my life.
I am still a virgin. It kills me because I know I'm not an ugly dude. I'm 6'1", I'm skinny, I look very young for my age and I have a lot of clothes. I also have a nice car even though it is pretty old. Many women have told me I was attractive in my life and many people say that I dress well. But I have very high standards. I feel like have let many opportunities pass me by in the past. I am naturally shy. I am also unpopular with many women because I'm mixed. I'm White, Asian and Hispanic. It is no secret that Asian men are not popular with women of any race in America. Even though I have the advantages of being tall, good-looking and unique, many people would rather label me as a weirdo. I live in a very socially segregated area of the country where Whites stick with Whites and Black stick with Blacks. I stick out like a sore thumb where ever I go. I was born into a very violent ghetto neighborhood but also grew up in the sheltered safety of the suburbs once my father got his act together. Because of this, I act too ghetto for most White people and act too bougie and suburban for most Blacks. I am a tourist everywhere I go.
I know my life is not the worst. But it feels pretty fucking bad when I see spoiled sheltered people handed everything in life without struggling for shit.