I've been depressed for quite some time now. I've been off of work from a good paying job for a long time now due to back injury. They took away my disability pay and I have nothing coming in. My wife and I have had a struggle since the beginning and now its gotten worse. She's been transfderred for work and has moved across the country. We've been separated for a couple months and I'm living back at home so it doesn't help. We still have bills to pay. She's working 2 jobs and I have no income. I'm filing bankruptcy which will screw me more now but I have no choice. I'm trying to find work here and on the other end of the country. If I go I leave behind my kids who I'm very close to. I love my wife very much but not sure if she feels the same. I keep trying to be closer with her and she keeps pushing me away. There is so much to keep typing but I'm so tired of being depressed. I hate my life and want it done now. Think that's on my agenda for today. I can't take anymore torture. I had a friend that killed himself last yr and when I saw him in the casket I actually felt happy for him and wished it was me. This medication isn't helping and everyone says it'll get better but its not and I'm at the bottom. Sorry to bore you all but best of luck. No need to remember a has been. See u on the other side | |
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The Only thing I can suggest, especially if you're having back problems is look for jobs that require you to sit down or don't do much moving around like reception or clerk. Also try to reach other family members and friends to see if they can help you out. There is no shame in asking.
I don't know if you believe in God, but I do and he's been very amazing to me and has done things in my life. I highly encourage you to just take a moment and give your concerns to God. He CAN handle it. He is highest qualified then anybody else that can help you if you let him. :)
As for your friend committing suicide. Sure you may have felt happy for him, He knows nothing now. He does not have to pay bills, he does not have to lift a finger to touch any worry in his life. But while he's dead, rotting, six feet underground, the rest of the world above him is moving on. Not everybody stops becuase you're dead. We move on and continue to enjoy life. He chose to end everything without realizing that his problems were only TEMPORARY and maybe some of the things that happened in his life were probably his fault. Maybe had he really stopped and looked at the picture and CONSIDER some things he may be doing wrong, he would have probably made some different results. I do not condemn people who commit suicide becuase lets face it; sometimes in life, suicide sounds nice, I've been there but you have to understand that those who commit suicide are only thinking of themselves in that moment instead of realizing HOW this death can impact somebody else.
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