All my life all Iíve wanted was to be loved back as much as I have loved. I have only had that for a very short time. My father loved me unconditionally. I lost him and that love at 26. I thought I had it with Brian and then again with Troy. They only lasted in that stage for a very very short time. Iíve never felt Iíve had it with Frank at all. Heís a realist to the point of depression. I guess he is the most honest lover Iíve ever had though. At least heís never promised that kind of love to me and then has taken it away. Heís just never given it to me from the start! LOL! I guess Iím learning from him that ďthis IS as good as it gets!Ē How depressing. I have all this love inside of me willing to share it with someone but there is no man who has the same thing inside of them to give it back. Most of them donít turn down receiving it though!
A life without love isnít worth having. Whatís the point? Doesnít that just seem like ďexistingĒ and not really living to these love dead people? I know thats how I feel, like a dog that is tied up in the back yard. The dog is feed, watered, has a little dog house to keep him dry when it rains but thats it! No interaction with the family, no one thinks to bring him in when it is really cold or hot outside, no one plays with him, no one cares if he needs some kind of ďqualityĒ of life. As if this animal has no emotion or feelings! Why bother having a dog? Hell, heís just a living breathing piece of yard art at that point. Maybe thatís what I am and have been to all these men in my life, living yard art.