For as long as I can remember, any person who I've trusted has pooed on me from a great height. I've just lost my job from people back stabbing and lying, after attempting to return to work after a long time on the sick. I'm autistic, have bipolar disorder, and am trying to be a recovering alcoholic, as opposed to a practicing one. I feel used and degraded, and can't imagine being able to face another person again.
I see things that aren't there, my moods swing up and down regardless of medication. I have no concept if a person is lying to me, or what they're feeling at all. I get as much out of a physical conversation than I do out of a text based one. Apparently I'm easy to manipulate, as I'd never see it coming. Somehow this is my fault, according to those who have. Like being autistic means that people have a right to exploit your weaknesses in social interaction.
I fixed my agoraphobia by getting a dog that requires exercise outwith the house, so my love for her forces me out. I say fixed, I doubt it will ever be fixed. It's always there, I go through phases where it is easier or harder to leave the house, but it's never okay. We walk the fields in the dead of night where we will encounter no-one whenever I am able to. I am not lonely. I do not want people anywhere near me. I want them all to go away. They can't be trusted. They're evil. They're all out to get me.