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I HATE HIM!!!!

Posted by anonymous at June 15, 2010
Tags: Anxiety  Attitude  Family  2010 June

My dad is such a selfish spiteful fucking CUNT! He wasn't around much when i was a kid, coz he knocked my mum up 4 months after meeting her and didn't give a fuck about either of us. Then my mum got cancer when i was 4 and he had to come look after us, and they got married a few weeks before my mum died when i was 6. I was at my grandparents the night she died and I was the last one to know! even my fucking school friends knew before me! First thing he did after she died was take down all the pictures of her and refuse to let me talk about her. He made me go to school the DAY AFTER she died! Then within a few months he got a new girlfriend who slept in my mums bed in MY MUMs PJs!!!! Then when they broke up he met this psychobitch and he wud sent me to my mates houses so he cud fuck her and play happy familys wiv her daughter. When i was 11, the police raided my house and i was sent to live wiv his mum and dad who hate me coz i "ruined his life".

the next day he sat me down and told me psychobitch had had a baby a year ago and he was the dad. but i wud never meet my sister coz she was put up for adoption after psychobitch tried to kill her then petrol bombed social services when they wudn't give baby back to psycho. then he told me the police raided coz he is going to prison coz he is a fucking paedo! I want to be clear: he never touched me. Only coz I'm a girl tho. He prefers little boys.

Long story short, I was put on the child abuse register undwer Emotional abuse coz him and the police and probation fucked me over making promises they cudn't keep and using me as a toy in their fights. On my 16th birthday he said I have 5 years left of his time and attention and showed my grandparents all the details of his plan for 5 years time and they are overly supportive of it. When i hit 21 he is gonna leave and never see me again. And i can't fucking wait for it!!

I now have panic attacks and I have suicidal tendancies. I self harm by overdosing and head bashing to cope. I can't have relationships coz i can't handle feeings and I think i have borderline personality disorder mixed mith depression, but i can't say anything coz he will say i'm attention seeking and make me feel even worse. I am barely hanging on right now, and his constant verbal abuse doesn't help at all. I dream about killing him im very violent ways but i wud never do it.

I don't know why i'm so hated by people who are suppost to love me. I don't smoke or do drugs. I didn't drink til i was legal and I'm still a virgin. I'm always polite and my friends tell me i'm an amazing person and all the other adults i know are saying its amazinf i haven't gone off the rails like most kids so i don't know what I've done to deserve all this. I'm 20 now and i still feel like a hurt little child and I'm slowly killing myself and all he can do is sit there and lecture me coz I didn't clean the whole fucking house to his standard.

Please can someone just tell me what to do to make things better.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
I hate my life!!! February 9, 2008
Do I really hate my life or I just bored ?????? July 22, 2011
i hate everything and don't know why February 16, 2012
Life effing sucks. July 12, 2010
I hate my life December 11, 2009



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Comments:
By anonymous at 17,Jun,10 22:26

Reply to June 15, 2010...Yes, it is overwhelming sometimes. Having been in similar shoes knowing a father figure that sucks, you are in charge of where you go from now on. Matthew 18:6 covers the man you refer to as your biological sperm donor. If you need to, seek a counselor or pastor or just begin to read positive things, shut out or ignore any negatives! Find a quiet place in your mind to center yourself and find comfort(meditation @Youtube). Research Sam-E and L-Theanine. I am not angry and I save $$$. Try Matthew 6:33-34= Don't worry, have faith... or Matthew 21:22 = Believe in what you need, always believe it, pray for it, always think it; and you receive it! You have learned how to be the BEST parent for a very lucky child some day. Let your anger go and you will grow :-)!


By anonymous at 19,Jun,10 09:25

I take it you will not be celebrating father's day this weekend. Well join the club.
When I turned 20, I moved to another state and had no contact with any family members (that was 30 years ago).
Move out, leave the past behind, start a new life.
Do not hate your father as he is vermin. A sewer rat is vermin. There are more bad fathers and more sewer rats everywhere. Just avoid vermin.
Those people who had good parents, I envy you. To those who had crappy parents, I sympathize with you.


By anonymous at 22,Jun,10 10:28

GET AWAY FROM YOUR DAD NOW. Get a job rent an apartment even if its not the greatest place its still better then where you are living right now. Screw him...next time he says something to you look hard and long and who its coming from. He is a sick man and you are not...get the fuck outta there now. Go live with a friend if you have to....my parents were abusive to...Im so much better since I moved away from them. It will take time after you leave to feel normal but it will happen and then you will feel empowered and independant...dont waiste your life because of him its not worth it. In the future when you are in a relationship with someone and dont worry you will be...dont even mention your father just tell them he was a jerk and you and him dont talk. You have already waisted enough of your life dont waiste and ruin the next 50yrs of your life. Good luck and be strong....u sound like a really nice person and we dont understand how people can be such douches cause we are not...but you cant go up against these people or fight them...they have been douches since birth and someone like you will never win...you r just not as experienced at being a fuck face as them...move on with your life fuck him god has his own way of dealing with people like him...dont waiste your life cause of him he is not worth it and its what he wants you to be just as fucked up as him dont give him the satisfaction...good luck my friend xo


By anonymous at 14,Sep,11 16:33

Get away from this EVIL CUNT save yourself let him fester and the wheel of time will come back and pay him back for all his miss deeds he deserves no sympathy u get on with yr life and be HAPPY !!! GO NOW AND I WILL TELL U SOMETHING FOR NOTHING EVIL MEN LIKE HIM WILL SUFFER TRUE PEOPLE LIKE U WILL SURVIVE BE STRONG HUGS Lisa xxx


By Bubbie at 27,Dec,16 14:49

You're the one with the brains here. I'm watichng for your posts.


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