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I am ashamed of myself

Posted by grey at April 16, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude  Job  Money

Im 23 years old and working a dead end security job,living pay check to pay check.My parents everyday tells me how ashamed their feel when somebody ask about me.I was never smart or had any good grades, dont matter how hard I study Ill fail.My mom tells how all her friend family member kids are so bright,smart, going to school,help pay the bills,and having nice materialistic things.Im in serious debt and cant get a bank account because of this.All my so call friends have all the money in the world, makes fun of me because of my 91 Honda with no AC in it .Everybody I know living life to fullest or the fast life.They party and have fun while my broke ass stay home feeling despress.I ignore my ex gf or any females because I feel dont deserve her or them.Im to broke or stupid to change anything.I feel like to clock is against me.It dont matter what I do I still fail at it,It could be something illegal and still no money coming in.I been kind and nice and dont get it and return.I dodge girls im to broke to afford dates and to embarrass to drive my car.I cant keep a long term of relationship becsusr of my failures or what she might think of me not doing noghting for my self.I wanna accomplish goals and my dream I feel like im curse and have bad luck,cause what ever I do I always hit an road block.Im gonna say goodbye to all my so call friends and family members who dont really give a fuck about me.Im gonna say good bye to their happy fun lifestyles which I cant live.Im gonna say good bye to my parent out rages expections,and to my love life that I also never experience.Because im give up.

Votes:

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Comments:
By at 16,Apr,12 19:55

Hang in there man, you cannot fail forever. Sooner or later, you'll get that opportunity..Just make sure you notice it. In the meantime, stay legal and keep your head up. Doesn't matter what others think, fuck them if they don't see you for who you are.

Your number one enemy is yourself, and never EVER assume that you're a failure by nature cause you're not. Noone is. You have potential like any other human being on this planet, you just need to find your calling in life, then work to excel at it and you'll be alright.

Good luck to you.

PS
By anonymous at 17,Apr,12 00:22

+1
By anonymous at 17,Apr,12 01:12

+2
By anonymous at 24,Apr,12 13:02

+3


By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 20:17

Hey Grey I am 24 and i feel the same exact way u feel and we have so many of the same feeling and emotions and even similar situations. As i am reading your story i feel like i wrote it myself. And it made me feel a tad bit better knowing that there is another human being out there who feels my pain. And i hope by letting you know that i understand and i feel your pain makes u feel sumwhat better. Cuz dude my life fucking sucks too. And i have 2 kids. And my parents are fed up of me too. So you can just imagine. But i try my best to take it a day at a time. and i want you to. Never give up. Keep trying you'll have a break one day. I sure hope i do too. But Its ok man. We are the under dogs. but we will win one day. i promise you. just never give up. and keep that burning desire to do better. dont give up man. I love you dude. No homo


By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 22:02

honestly, i know it sucks right now, but you are only 23. Only 23. Do u know how many successful people were broke and had hard lives at 23 and became really successful later on...

It sounds cheesy, but honestly, just YOU being born was 1 in a billion chances. Out of all those sperm that fought to crack the egg first, somehow YOU did it.

Work hard, get inspired. Dont like your job, quit. Go back to school, go what you want to do. YOU have 100% control over you life.
By anonymous at 17,Apr,12 01:14

+1


By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 22:20

Dude, don't worry about it. When I was 23 I was in almost the same position. Same shitty job, the works. I went to school, worked hard, and made it out. Find people you want to be like, and do what they do.


By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 23:16

Hmmm let's see. You don't use drugs, at least I assume and hope, you aren't a thief, you aren't a trouble maker, you aren't sitting back collecting a government check every month. You are out there every day working hard. And your parents are ashamed of the fact that you are a security guard? That's ridiculous. You sound like a responsible young adult trying to get somewhere. You aren't mooching off your parents you are out there everyday working and trying. I would be proud to have my son working everyday at any job. Don't give up. You aren't a failure to fail is not to try. You are tying.
By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 23:17

I meant trying not tying. Just smile and tell anyone who puts you down "Thank you for sharing", and ignore them.


By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 23:51

You aren't very good at typing either.


By anonymous at 17,Apr,12 01:11

Don't throw the towel in yet. You're only 23--- i'm more than 2x your age --- take it from me, you've got plenty of time to turn things around. Keep looking and trying new things. Eventually you'll find your niche/calling/passion etc.. Right now, try and learn from your "failures" and continue to move forward --- that's the key -- keep moving forward.


By anonymous at 17,Apr,12 06:58

theres no way your a failure you said two very important things you have kindness and your nice.With your age bein 23 dont let the ego or what others might have get in your way.Theres not many who like what they do for a living but guess what i stress you have the options finding yourself sometimes the mind works first and the body follows or the other way around.The funny thing is we usally know what where doin right or wrong so we need no one to help us as long as we have free will to make the changes to help you good luck.


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