Im ashamed of myself big time | Posted by its been a hard life for me at April 17, 2012 | Tags: 2012 April Attitude |
Im a white male just turned 26. i live at home and don't work. I suffer from depression bipolor ADD ADHA and have my whole life. i take meds for them everyday. parents pay for them every month im very implusive senstive im a good looking guy always wear nice clothes very nice kind gentle guy I was made fun of most of my life in school.Never had many friends ever and still don't to this day. i was brought up well. live in a nice house and have nice stuff had a good childhood taught what was right and wrong dad has a good paying job my parents are very loving non absuive and been married for 35 years. Spoiled rotten gave me everything even a nice truck i am very lucky person to have such loving parents but i hate my parents i have for years now and don't give them respect but anyone else i always respect themI never wanted to work and was never pushed to work when i was a teenager. when i would work i would work for a few months and quit cause i did not feel like working anymore.For a long time now all i really do is eat and sleep and play video games Even though its wrong to steal i have stolen money and other things over the years. parents have bailed me out from things i have done over the years. i have had to learn the hard and the sad part is i never learned a lesson from it.Almost went to jail for stealing but never went cause they bailed me out a few years ago and never asked them to bail me out.they have always been there for me. i have no desire to look for a job. i know what i have to do too make it in life. im not afraid of living life on my own. i just don't have the desire or motivation to do it Do i wanna live on the street and be very lonely poor man no but im heading that way. I know i can change that but just don't feel like changing my life.i have gone to different shrinks and therapists therapy over the years but nonthing has really. Out of all my 30 family members im the only one who doesn't work. It hurts to know that im the only one. parents have so much stress and are very worried about me i have goals and dreams but they may never come true. As im typing this right now i have been crying the whole time there are many times i wish i was dead. its so hard for me. I don't know what will happen to myself it scares me alot. wish i knew why im like this. why don't i feel like changing my life. im afraid i may never get well. | |
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Anyway I really do know how you feel...
I just hate everything, just wanna live on a boat alone in the caribean.
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