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life is going down :(

Posted by jueves at April 17, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Mistakes

Today is his birthday and he block me out, i found out i won't be able to subscribe to the master thing that i wanted because i was stupid and let the limit date pass by and I realized it the next day after all the subscriptions, i also find out an old mail that tells me that wasn't able to fill the IRS report months ago and the chances of going back to usa are extremely little now... I lost love, I don't have a job and no money , also i have like a strange superiority feeling that stops me to go cry down to somebody just for that someone to hear my problems, i just need somebody smart enough to advice me. I'm in my 30s and i got everything fixed , everything on track until i start doing one stupid thing after another and now I'm totally deep in depression and which is worst alone, totally alone not able to speak to anyone deep enough as to share my problems because i'm afraid of looking like a loser, I miss him with all my heart and he has me blocked .. what's wrong with me? , why do i still care? I just wish i could sleep all days all day long, sleep and forget about everything that is happening to me, sleep and don't ever wake up.


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