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everything is pointless

Posted by kaye at April 17, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude  Meaninglessness

I am 25 years old. I dropped out of college because I couldn't afford it. Now I'm working a job that only pays $11 an hour and they only give me 30 hours a week. I can't afford to live on my own anymore. I have a boyfriend that I love but I hate being unable to pay my bills and getting behind on everything whiles he's doing really well. I won't ask him for help because I'm not a damn golddigger, but I hate watching him spend mimoney like its nothing while I'm struggling. I miss my freedom. I get treated like shit at work, I hate my job but I can't quit because then I'd really be screwed. I physically feel bad because I can't afford to go to a doctor, and none of the programs to help people will help me because I'm not jobless and I don't have any kids. I feel like I've tried so hard to be responsible and make good decisions but nothing just ever works out. I am so tired of how pointless everything is. Work hard and still not make ends meet. Don't get knocked up and be .one of those broke moms with dirty skinny kids, don't get a bunch of credit card debt and still I'm not happy and can't make ends meet. Make just enough money to not have to declare bankruptcy but always behind on bills. I work shitty hours when I do get to work, with people who treat me like dirt. In my free time I can't do anything but Sig here eating ramen and feeling shitty because I'm lucky if I have the gas to get to work, much less to do something that's actually fun. There's no point to any of this but misery and more misery. I wish I could just get in a car or camper and drive until I have no more gas and just enjoy existing. Anything has got to be better than this. I'm not suicidal, just so apathetic. No athiest wants to hurry death, but something has to change. I almost hope there's some huge 2012 apocalyspe because I'm so so tired of making money just not barely pay bills. Capitalism is bullshit. This whole life is bullshit but you can't do anything fun without money. There's no enjoyment for me in anything anymore.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Pull the goddamn trigger already March 15, 2012
The only thing I am good at is quitting. September 13, 2010
What is the perfect family? January 11, 2011
Life is pointless April 2, 2010
34 and living with my parents September 24, 2010



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 18,Apr,12 20:09

well thats where you went wrong you are atheist!
perhaps you should give your life to christ and you will then see miracles.
YOu seem so miserable with what you have that I see as blessings.
Do you know how grateful I will be to earn $11 per hr. Some people don't even have jobs and have no food to eat yet you complain about your life. YOu have a bf who does well financially but yet you are too proud to ask for help... askign for help does not make you a gold digger esp if he just spending it on unnecessary things what more you his gf... if he makes you feel you can't come to him and vent ot him and you gotta come here to vent


By anonymous at 18,Apr,12 20:11

well thats where you went wrong you are atheist!
perhaps you should give your life to christ and you will then see miracles.
YOu seem so miserable with what you have that I see as blessings.
Do you know how grateful I will be to earn $11 per hr. Some people don't even have jobs and have no food to eat yet you complain about your life. YOu have a bf who does well financially but yet you are too proud to ask for help... askign for help does not make you a gold digger esp if he just spending it on unnecessary things what more you his gf... if he makes you feel you can't come to him and feel uncomfortable asking for help then why be with him for? we get into relationship not for fun and sex so we can see if this wil be the person we can be for life... and seems like you can't even come to him...
YOu need to fix yourself and be thankful with what you do have cause you do not know how lucky you are....


By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 10:08

Hmm, I hear cosmetologists and hair dressers make good money and you can use financial aid for those schools. Or be a dental assistant. It's just two years and the money is good, too.


By anonymous at 01,May,12 19:37

Wow, I feel your pain, my life is pretty similar to yours right now except Im a guy. Try being in student loan debt, making very little money and having to move back with a mother that has paranoid, abusive & obsessive compulsive problems. I have no way out of my situation right now, because my student loans are taking way too much money from me every month. So due to financial reasons I cant get back out on my own and Im a grown man. It blows.


By anonymous at 18,Jun,12 17:25

I hear ya. I have worked for the same company for 8 years without a hitch,good yearly reviews no problems. I moved to Oregon and transferred and after a year my new manager decided she did not like my personality after my two co-workers quit. Within a month and a half I was terminated. I was written up on miniscule things and nitpicked out of my career. I had no recourse at all. And it seems no one wants to hire someone in there late 40's. So yes I am feeling very screwed over by what passes as society. I feel your pain and how everything seems pointless. I just keep on trying to move forward that's all any of us can do.


By anonymous at 02,Sep,12 16:44

i know exactly how you feel people who say money cant buy happiness are full of shit.if i had more money and a better job my life would be soo much happier i could spend time doing things i like instead of struggling.it really sucks having a crappy job where you get treated like crap and are not appreciated.


By Elske at 05,Sep,12 21:51

Thanks wiseindividualspell@gmail.com you so much for the spell you did 2days ago. As you said James behavior changed little by little. He phone me more and with time wanted to see me. I did as you suggested and ignored him a bit and now he loves me as before!


By anonymous at 13,Oct,12 02:28

America was built on the idea that if you work hard you get what you need. What has been lost in our world is the definition between need and want. Sit back and think about what you really need and what you want. If you decide that you need to bring children into the world you need to evaluate what your responsibilities are. Once you bring another generation into being it's not about you, it's about them, you better fucking get it right.


By mary at 24,Nov,12 17:35

My ex-boyfriend dumped me 0ne week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Hindu spell. You are truly talented and gifted. Email: ehisalextemple@gmail.com is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man and he can also help you to solve any problem…Lol I am very happy…..,,,,
By anonymous at 20,Dec,12 16:43

really..will he solve problems with girlfriend too?


By anonymous at 15,Jan,13 00:38

I don't know where to post this, i have been trying to get my ex lover back but he seem to be drifting away from me. Until when i saw a post in here when Sophie sapiandante posted on how Dr Price Ojomale help her get her man back after 2 years. Though i have been hearing a lot about this spell caster and I hope that it he would be able to do something about bringing Kim back home cause i'm nobody without him.

I ask if he can help me bring back my Kim too? He laughed and said once i have contacted him, my problem will be solved.
He help me cast a spell and within 48 hours the result was outstanding.
I'm so happy today and am also thanking Sophie sapiandante for posting this early. Dr Prince Ojomale, you are truly a man of your word. I highly recommend Dr Prince Ojomale to you for whatever problem you are experiencing whether is love, money or psychic powers. He is powerful. You can contact him on rainbowspiritsolution@gmail.com

Collins Gordy

Country : USA


By crorkz at 06,Aug,14 03:15

NWaDGC Thanks for the blog.Much thanks again. Awesome.


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