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a life of pain

Posted by anonymous at April 18, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude  Sociopathy

I'm a 37 year old Asian Canadian man who lived from ages 2 to 14 in Canada but went back to Asia at 14, and then went back to Canada for university at 17, and then went back to Asian after graduation. English is my native language but people treat me like I can't speak English and try to correct my English, or talk really loud and slow to me, or listen to me with a patronizing look of pity as if I'm retarded. I can't speak the language of my parents well and I don't want to improve; it doesn't seem worth it. I'd rather be lower middle class in Canada than a millionaire in Asia. People in Asia think I'm mentally retarded or a sellout. I feel my mind is being ripped apart whenever someone makes wrong assumptions about me. I'm a nerd and hate being a nerd. I have short legs and long arms and a big head. Although I've been lifting weights for seven years and can squat 225 and deadlift 315, I'm still short and skinny. When I go to a new gym people assume I'm a beginner who can't use the free weights without getting hurt. I've never had a girlfriend, and never had a real friend. Most of the people who I thought were my friends had just been using me for money or as a "last resort" person to hang out with because no-one else was available. I don't have social skills and I get so nervous when I talk to people. In my 20s I had sex with prostitutes whenever i had money. I stopped going to prostitutes at age 30, but in the last year I paid for sex with girls (non pros) I met online. I did that about 8 times. I worked as a translator and editor for 10 years (7 of those years from home) making a crap wage. I live with my evil, stupid, backward parents who abused me when I was young. On the bright side, I'm trying to start an online business. Hopefully my business is successful and I will have the time to improve my body and social skills and finally make some friends.


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 01:16

wow why address your asian? you are a disgraced!!!
you turned to prostitute wow get check see if you are clean cause
Id feel sorry for whoever will be your gf
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 07:31

i said i was asian because i am asian.

why should i hide my race?

going to prostitutes isn't such a big deal.

they get checked for diseases regularly.

i feel sorry for anyone who has to look at you or talk to you.


By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 03:41

Dear anz. Are you in the basement?
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 04:22

yea, with you as his mom. Fuck off, looser!
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 07:32 Fold Up

no, i don't live in a basement. i live in an apartment building that my parents own and work there as a janitor, mopping the floors, etc.


By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 07:23

there is nothing wrong with going to prostitutes if you are single.
it would be wrong if you are married because you are being unfaithful.
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 12:42

you are of a man without morals... nasty


By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 10:18

I'm not sure why people feel the need to be rude to you, but I hope you find some happiness. I think you should try and get some independance and then you might find it easier to meet people and make some friends.
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 11:53

thank you. i'm trying to become independent.
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 12:39

prostitutes have slept with many men so imagine how many u have slept also since u stucked ur weewee into a hole that other men like u has been...
u are sick and u will not get a decent woman trust me so might as well go marry one of those prostitute and help them off the street... u see nothing wrong with it so why not asked them to be your gf... u gook!!!
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 13:13

LOL. i know they sleep with a lot of guys, who wants to think about that though. i don't even visit prostitutes any more. i'm too old, it's a waste of money, and it makes me tired.


By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 12:41

you are the men God created perfect for prostitutes. we all need love and someone so why need to look else where when the perfect match for you are those type of women... you can be independent by pimping her. and perhaps you should be one too.
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 13:41

lol good idea. i could pimp you too, how's that?
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 22:03

I truly pitty you sir... You need God in your life. You laugh but deep down I can sense the loneliness and shame you have build up together.
God can forgive if you repent.
Prostitutes need help even more why would you treat them like that or encourage what they do? you should have help them instead than using them.
Im sure you have a heart and its never too late to repent
God have mercy on you sir. god Bless
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 22:04 Fold Up

I truly pitty you sir... You need God in your life. You laugh but deep down I can sense the loneliness and shame you have build up together.
God can forgive if you repent.
Prostitutes need help even more why would you treat them like that or encourage what they do? you should have help them instead than using them.
Im sure you have a heart and its never too late to repent
God have mercy on you sir. god Bless


By Cursed at 19,Apr,12 14:40

Dear Friend-
I find that men with "means" meaning "money" never seem to have a shortage of "trophy" girlfriends on their arms... But, as we all know, or will find out eventually, all the money in the world will not buy you happiness- or love. So, be happy with who you are, how you look, and strive to be a good person. Eventually, the right gal will come along- prostitute or not...
Good luck with your "online" business! How exciting! Focus on that- and everything will fall into to place-
Cursed


By justme at 19,Apr,12 15:31

Good luck with your online business. If you want my advice, here is what I would say...

Focus on getting your own independence so you can move out of your parents house. Keep doing some part-time as a translator/editor on the side if you need extra money.

Then accept who you are. You cannot change the fact that you are short and, after 7 years, it is safe to say that you will remain skinny.

Forget the girls you met online. If you payed them for sex, they ARE pros. Work on your social skills instead. Join a club, do volunteer work, whatever works for you.

Use being a nerd for your advantage. Your post sounds witty, so I'm sure you have a good sense of humor. Some girls think shy-smart-nerds can be cute.


By anonymous at 11,May,12 03:02

If you recently paid for sex 8 times that means that you paid a prostitute. prostitution is getting money for sex. They had sex with you for money so that is prostitution and you still pay for sex.
By anonymous at 22,May,12 09:02

if my meaning was hard for you to understand, i meant that i no longer have sex with girls who sell their bodies as their main way of earning a living (by working in brothels, massage parlors, etc). the girls i met online had other occupations, they met me of their own free will, and i compensated them with cash.


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