I'm a 37 year old Asian Canadian man who lived from ages 2 to 14 in Canada but went back to Asia at 14, and then went back to Canada for university at 17, and then went back to Asian after graduation. English is my native language but people treat me like I can't speak English and try to correct my English, or talk really loud and slow to me, or listen to me with a patronizing look of pity as if I'm retarded. I can't speak the language of my parents well and I don't want to improve; it doesn't seem worth it. I'd rather be lower middle class in Canada than a millionaire in Asia. People in Asia think I'm mentally retarded or a sellout. I feel my mind is being ripped apart whenever someone makes wrong assumptions about me. I'm a nerd and hate being a nerd. I have short legs and long arms and a big head. Although I've been lifting weights for seven years and can squat 225 and deadlift 315, I'm still short and skinny. When I go to a new gym people assume I'm a beginner who can't use the free weights without getting hurt. I've never had a girlfriend, and never had a real friend. Most of the people who I thought were my friends had just been using me for money or as a "last resort" person to hang out with because no-one else was available. I don't have social skills and I get so nervous when I talk to people. In my 20s I had sex with prostitutes whenever i had money. I stopped going to prostitutes at age 30, but in the last year I paid for sex with girls (non pros) I met online. I did that about 8 times. I worked as a translator and editor for 10 years (7 of those years from home) making a crap wage. I live with my evil, stupid, backward parents who abused me when I was young. On the bright side, I'm trying to start an online business. Hopefully my business is successful and I will have the time to improve my body and social skills and finally make some friends.