In 2004 My me(7),mum,big sister (10) moved to England from Africa,leaving behind my dad ,little brother (4) and little sister (2) behind.In that same year around Christmas my mum gets told that my sister and brother are hospitalized because of a crazy fire at my grandmothers house.I never really cried because I hadn't understood the situation much.
My mum immediately left to Africa,leaving me and my big sis waiting for answers.I was then told my sister had died and my brother was left with severe scars on this head and hands.He and my mum left to England,My dad stayed to work.But due to curiosity I came across a picture of my deceased little sister fighting for her life in hospital with her stomach opened up.I had nightmares.
I 2005-2008 I lived an awesome life I even found my fated best friend.Things couldn't get any better..until mum started threatening me that she'd make me move back to Africa if I didn't do this and that.I for one honestly am not scared of threats but Africa I hate! Africa!! My mum knows too.She doesn't know Im scared of the place now everything about that place scares me especially the country I lived in..Botswana I hate that place.We went there to visit every holiday and mum would kid about telling me I'd stay there for-ever.I never like visiting.
When I got into high school my mum started beating me with a belt,stick,shoe anything that hurts.I'm so used to it the pain..I don't feel it anymore.I wish I could die just to escape from it but I knew my best friend who is like me in every way would do the same like seriously no jokes.My mum told me I was moving when I was in yr7.I told my friends and they and I were very sad about it.In the end my mum lied.Yr 8 She said it again I knew she was joking but she booked tickets and showed me..I cried again and told my friends..They think im crying wolf now.I lost their trust sorta.But my best friend believed me.
That december leaving on the plane I cried as I arrived there.My evil mother is serious..January my mum is about to leave to England and I cry like cry and tell her i'll do anything.She said ok and I left back..My friends saw me and again knew I was back they knew I lied when I didn't.My best friend was very happy to see me.Because of that incident it only left me with less than 7 friends in high school completely trusted.I started getting addicted to anime and became anti social..closing my circle of friends to about 5 people.
My brother and sister moved back cause they love Botswana,I'm the only on in the family who hates it.I don't know what I did but i broke the promised with my mum..before I knew it my dad is in England to fetch me.He wanted to give me a last chance but i blew it.I still don't know how.They say I never do what they ask me to but hear me out I'm a very nice girl,kind and loving and everyone one knows that it seems I can't be myself at home.I don't listen to crap I talk back and fight for my right ,I tell my best friend she didn't cry this time.
Im on the train..with my mum,dad.(I don't understand how I have to move in the middle of the year..on top of that I'm about to right my GCSE's)Im crying as I see my home slowly fade away.Im on the plane ..Im seriously going?(I'm fourteen now)The day I arrived i didn't eat,I just cried.9th of August..I hate that day..I 'm living without the woman whom I hated but brought me to the best place of my life.I left my best friend.Anime and Manga's are literally all I have in life.I hate speaking with people.I haven't been happy at all.My smiles are fake my laughs are fake.My dad is a douche bag who only scares about money and his weight more than his kids eating.They only love my brother,maybe cause he's that last born,or cause of the accident,or cause he's the only boy.I've always wished I traded places with my lil sis she deserved to live in the world I never appreciated.
I know my mum and dad don't love me.I always knew I just had my sister.That bond kept us strong.I love my sister.It's been 6 months and because of the curriculum change I haven't been able to pass interviews.I'm home everyday cause I don't want friends not do I want to explore this place even though I'm forced to.The men here are all pervs they flirt with me cause I look mature for my age But Im 14!! Leave me alone creeps!!
I tell my mum I'm depressed,she's a mental clinic nurse so her reaction was don't joke about those things,I started crying badly and she listened to my pain through skype.She told me that I shouldn't do anything stupid and that they'd have a family talk about it when she arrives within the next week.My mum spoke with my dad and sis who told her yes I am depressed and such.I shunned everyone out.'Don't do anything stupid' I thought to myself ,haahhha suicide? Never :/ I couldn't ;eave my sister alone with this brat and that man who I disowned.My mum told me she loved me..I love you ?..like i believe that ..I don't need things like love anymore.It doesn't mean anything to me anymore if you loved me you would of never sent me here.Mum said that she'd sent me to a mental clinic If I kept 'acting' like this..Before I knew it all my relatives visited me not my siblings me.I hate people ! I hate talking to you ! I want to leave this place I thought.
She that evil woman said to me that even if she could send me back she can't now cause they started their exams.O.M.F.G .i was angry ...how could she tell me she's regretting now.They all told me you'll get used to this place I havent ! at ALL!Okay you've heard my story so far what do you think? ok then let's finish up.
I told my mum I hate my dad and I want to go to boarding school.They chose the worse one.I arrive and its full of tree's weird tree's.The dorm's were bad it look like a real prison sell no jokes..Metal bbq stand looking bunk beds grey walls.Salty water..Food that makes you have a runny stomach and makes you constipated. wouldn't eat for weeks.Day 1 out of 100.I already wanted to go home.These guys are just like the one's back in the Capital city pervs.
Cause I was new people wanted to talk to me.I hated it.I was moved from yr10 to yr8,School was messed especially English.I had to correct the teacher and point out things.I say not so much of a big word now everyone thinks I'm smart WTF........?I got beaten up for lending out soap..I was cussed at by all the girls in the dorm,no-one helped me.I confined myself to 3 girls who in the end hit me with a broom while I was in the shower,exposing myself for everyone to see and in the end expected me to be friends with them.. no. I'm home now got out of school early.Maybe it's the culture shock? I sick and tired of people who say their helping me but in the end are finding any excuse for me to fry and die with them.At that school I'd cry myself to sleep,the principal,vice p,dorm keeper and everyone except for my pet dad and friend Hated me..just cause I lived in England and they didn't. Constantly telling me that this is Africa.I know am I dumb or something obviously.
My mum hasn't asked me how I feel and I was told that I have no life and Im like a zombie like many people.I want to die but I im scared 2 I wanna visit Japan first 3 My best friend who's is still talking to me everyday and feels for me ..now we're drifting apart.My mum called her dad to tell her to stop talking to me cause she's making me sad..Now the two parents hate each other.Her dad was like he wouldn't of minded if I stayed with them..I cant now.
Im living back here at the capital with the old man and my sis.My sis is 18 and isn't allowed to leave the house.If my dad finds out she's got a boyfriend who I think is the one he's gonna kill her.Time is wasting away.My beautiful youth.I'm drowning in a pool of dis-pear .My animations keep my blood and heart pumping but they want to take that away.I have 51 cousins and I don't like any of them.
No matter what in sept 2013 my friends will be gone to college.im in yr9 now skipped luckily..I can finish in yr10. so 2013 dec im bck there but I cant join them in college so no matter what I cant be with them I'll be a year below..Tell me now Is there hope..what's out there for me ?I cant live for another year..my birthdays coming my first one in this Evil country.Im gonna spend it alone with my dsi.There's no such thing as allowance to my so called dad.I relieve my stress by eating.Eating what ?There's never food in the fridge..What cruel world is this What did I do to deserve this.I may hate church but I'm always dragged there.WHY are there chickens in the street I know this is a LED Continent but I don't wanna live here.I wanna be adopted so I never see these faces again.I I was never born I would never have experienced any of this.Im failing all my subjects though im a smart girl.Can't you notice that somethings up stupid parents.I can't keep telling my sister everything will be okay when I no it's not.My sister wants to run away from this family.I wanna run away from this continent,family,relatives I don't care if I dont see them again I just wanna go !! back to my friend.
I didn't feel the slightest bit better from writing this I'm angry now .. -__-