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tired of living

Posted by Cindy at April 21, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Money  Relationship  Unemployment

My mother used to say, "I'm tired of living." I never fully understood what she meant, but now I believe she meant "I'm tired of living THIS WAY." I'm not living, I'm merely existing. I am now in my second year of looking for a job since graduating from college. Work has always been a drudgery for me, I have never had a fulfilling job. Now my husband is probably going to lose his job, and it puts even more pressure on me. It's taking a toll on our marriage, which I'm shocked is still together. I've become more and more withdrawn, which doesn't help my situation either. The insurance company stopped paying for my therapy, so I don't even have that outlet. I don't like the way life is now. So many processes are impersonal and unfair. People just don't care. There are times when I wish I would die, just so I don't have to contend with it any longer. I have never been suicidal and would never put anyone else at risk either. I feel like an alien. I don't like the world the way it is now and I don't feel I belong in it. But what other choice do I have? Now I understand why mom said, "I'm tired of living."


Votes:


Similar Entries:
I'm tired of my life April 18, 2012
Pull the goddamn trigger already March 15, 2012
So frickin tired of this life October 27, 2011
im tired of this life shit June 15, 2011
I can't wait to be dead April 16, 2012



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Comments:
By anonymous at 31,May,12 19:10

Why can life not be shared equally, instead some people have it all, and others canít change the way they live no matter how hard they try to get out of their sad existence. This world is seriously fucked.
By anonymous at 28,Mar,13 10:22

how true - the rich keeping getting more - the hard working people get nothing


By anonymous at 13,Jan,13 00:34

I'm 81 years old and my children make me feel as if I've lived enough and if I pass on, it's no big deal! My husband and I, were very close and he passed away six years ago. They don't visit me. They don't bring my
grandchildren to visit me. I live alone and am very lonely. The only way I see my children and grandchildren, is, to visit them--by car-bus-plane-train and taxi! It doesn't bother my children at all that I have to travel to see them and my grandchildren. If I say one wrong word, they block my e-mail account and my telephone! Is there any reason that I am tired of living!


By anonymous at 15,Jan,13 21:34

K


By anonymous at 14,Mar,13 23:50

It's unmistakable. You know you're really screwed when you cannot afford nothing anymore, not even being sick, tired or depressed. Given a choice, you'd rather die, but there are still people in a much worse shape than you still dependent on you being their pillar to lean on... You know you're really screwed when even God depresses you.

However, there is salvation in realizing that you are the only person you can count on, that everyone else, including friends, family and God, will let you down. There's serious relief in giving up all expectations...


By best pron at 15,Apr,19 16:23

k9XHoB I seriously appreciate your posts. Many thanks


By suba suba at 19,Apr,19 07:36

mAdm1O I value the blog.Really thank you! Will read on


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