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tired of living

Posted by Cindy at April 21, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Money  Relationship  Unemployment

My mother used to say, "I'm tired of living." I never fully understood what she meant, but now I believe she meant "I'm tired of living THIS WAY." I'm not living, I'm merely existing. I am now in my second year of looking for a job since graduating from college. Work has always been a drudgery for me, I have never had a fulfilling job. Now my husband is probably going to lose his job, and it puts even more pressure on me. It's taking a toll on our marriage, which I'm shocked is still together. I've become more and more withdrawn, which doesn't help my situation either. The insurance company stopped paying for my therapy, so I don't even have that outlet. I don't like the way life is now. So many processes are impersonal and unfair. People just don't care. There are times when I wish I would die, just so I don't have to contend with it any longer. I have never been suicidal and would never put anyone else at risk either. I feel like an alien. I don't like the world the way it is now and I don't feel I belong in it. But what other choice do I have? Now I understand why mom said, "I'm tired of living."


Similar Entries:
I'm tired of my life April 18, 2012
Pull the goddamn trigger already March 15, 2012
So frickin tired of this life October 27, 2011
im tired of this life shit June 15, 2011
I can't wait to be dead April 16, 2012

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