I just can't take it anymore.It's like i'm invisible. Nobody seems to give a crap about how I'm feeling. To them, I'm just being silly. I'm just being stupid. I'll get over it. But, you know what, i DON'T get over it. The new inconsiderate thing doesn't replace the old one, it just piles on top. Just makes me feel that much more worse. No matter how many times you apologize, not that you ever bother, its not going to help. It's like if you take a piece of paper and crumble it up. No matter how many times you try to flatten it, no matter how many times you say "I'm sorry" it's never going to be the same. It's still going to be wrinkled and flawed. Thanks to you. Did you know that i talk to myself? I do it because it gives me a chance to imagine me having the perfect life. A life where i was popular and people actually cared if i cried and the teachers never forget my name. A life where people give a damn about what they say to me. Where they don't judge me or assume that they know me. Where I'm given a chance. "This year--I'll make it happen," I keep saying, but truthfully I'm just kidding myself. That's what i told myself last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. I wish it was as easy as the songs say. How i can just stand up and tell the jerks off. But it's not, if i do that, I'll be destroyed. Nobody would want to talk to the girl who spazzed at lunch. I hate my life. I hate my life and there's nothing i can do about it. I've prayed to God many times, but it never works. He never listens. I guess I'm invisible to him, too. So i guess that's just how I'll live and die. A lonely stupid invisible loser. | |
I understand how you feel. I've felt the same, but there is a way I got over it. It helps to talk about it, like seriously talk about it with the people around you: parents/siblings/friends/teachers/etc. Get them to listen to you, explain how you feel, explain how they make you feel, explain how you would like to feel. Ask them to actually help you. A very serious and open talk. Its time you take the initiative, it's time you MAKE yourself visible. Just seriously talk, explain clearly what is bothering you, listen to what they have to say in return and see what happens. You've nothing to lose right. You always have the old situation to get back to, but maybe this will help you get to a different, hopefully a lot better one. Cheers!
You have to remember one thing, and that's that it will get better. Half the battle is with yourself.
A man once told me that the majority of people's complaints and frustrations are the result of events that are completely out of their control.
Take solace in knowing this. Stand up straight with your head held high and fight through and deal with the events that are out of your control, and remember that your happiness lies entirely on your ability to make a better life for yourself.
And even though it feels like no one is listening and no one cares, remember that there are people who read your post and do care. We truly care.
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