I'm a lazy piece of shit with a superiority and an inferiority complex.
What Nietzsche said was so true. Everything is about luck.
What really kills me is the fucking frustration. I will never be happy. Well - in fact, most of my life has just been grey dull suffering, punctuated with temporary tokens of happiness.
Mind-fucking is inevitable and we will never be able to express it. All I want to do is to scream at life.
I'm socially awkward but more importantly I'm actually fucked in the head.
There is no rock of stability to save us.
The insanity is that one moment I feel joyous and happy with myself - and that joy itself leads directly to misery. And I don't believe any of the bullshit Buddhists say. They're just weak people who can't face life and just give up on it.
I'm too self-reflective and self-conscious to ever have a meaningful, deep, relation. I really just treat other people like objects. And when you start doing that, more mind-fuckery ensues: on the one hand you have your desire to assert yourself, to proclaim your own greatness, and then you realize that you're nothing but a bag of shit that's going to be gone, long gone, that could be crushed under a truck and eventually no one will give a shit.
Even if God existed - what problems would that solve? | |
I do.
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