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Bad Moon Risin'

Posted by Downer Dave at April 21, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude  Meaninglessness

Iíll keep thing brief since I donít think I am breaking any new ground here. I am a 44 year old loser who has never had a girlfriend or been on a date. I am not Brad Pitt but I am NOT a complete freak or anything. I lack any sense of self worth or esteem. I spend my time off from work just killing time. Over the years, the few friends that I had have drifted away as they have started lives. I have brothers and sisters, but our relationships are strictly based on a formula of occasional phone calls and tedious scripted holiday events.

I live hour by hour, day by day and week by week in a pointless pattern of sadness and boredom. I am not saying that I am a raving lunatic or that I cannot function in society. I have a good job and am financially fairly well off. Most of the time, the numbness of my routine provides a barrier that insulates me from the underlying feelings of sadness and worthlessness. I stay busy at work and watch sports on TV. But I have always had daily occurrences where the reality of my pathetic, empty life bubbles up to the surface. I just push it back down and go about my business. I feel a hopeless nausea that is almost physical. It is getting worse and more frequent of late. I feel bad so much of the time that I know that I cannot continue on this way. I am not a quitter and not suicidal, I am just sick of the emptiness when I am surrounded by so many people having such fun!

I know that this is not likely to help, but I have decided to walk away from my life and start over somewhere elseÖ Wish me luck.


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By Pseudonymous Secret Unknown at 21,Apr,12 23:04

I know how you feel I'm the same way except my age I'm under twenty but if it makes you feel any better ill be your friend. I understand not having any friends or faimly members to talk to or anythhing like that I've been growing up like that but if your life is as simular to mine as it sounds the try killing the part of it you don't like its working out for me I hope it does for you

By anonymous at 21,Apr,12 23:36

Why don't you get out and meet some people for gods sake? Pick something you like to do or would like to try; find a group of people who do it and join them. It's not that damn hard to get out there and live a little. If you can't find a group start one. Nothing's going to change if you don't get off the sofa and away from the boob tube.
By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 06:02

I don't mean to encourage Dave's sense of hopelessness but your obvious entreaty doesn't work for all of us. I'm a thirty year old version of Dave, minus financial stability, and the rank empty lonely life we are given makes it difficult to change things up. What's the goddamn fucking point of doing anything when we're just going to be alone at the end of it all with no one to share these events? Why even strive for the financial stability of Dave, everything is really and truly pointless and even if we went out into the world to try and meet people it would just be another occasion to feel lonely as we see a bunch of people who don't know each other becoming fast friends while we're just reminded of our own unlikeability.

By anonymous at 21,Apr,12 23:41

It would be a good experience for you to spend an evening drinking party with a group of gay sado-masochistic bikers. In the morning you will be glad to be alone and have the life you live
By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 22:45

Mmm I don't know gay s&m bikers are a lot of fun

By Willy at 21,Apr,12 23:53

Hahaha i hear you, dude. Hang in there

By dez lost in NM at 21,Apr,12 23:55

Hi Dave, Ive walked away and tried to start over. My boat is still sinking in the desert. Lost and lonely. I wish there was a hand to hold to catch me and a body to hold and love me.

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 00:56

Hi Dave, I can completely relate...I've considered moving away from this town I've grown up in, however, two ailing parents keep me from doing so. Since you don't have any dependents and have the ability to leave to start anew, I'd say DO IT!!!! You probably need a change of environment and routine. I wish you the best of luck & keep us posted on what happens on your new venture. Take care. -MM
By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 01:00

P.S. I do agree with one of the posts from above in regards to joining a group or club. Are you into reading? Join a book club or poetry reading groups if that's what you're into. You never know who you'd end up meeting and that's definitely an option over skipping town... -MM

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 03:05

youtube com/watch?v=xSjVQJn_iAk

Watch it. Cheer up its not the end. Its a new beginning for the new life. You have to just start making changes.

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 07:13

moving won't accomplish anything. you won't become a different person because you are in a new town. whatever character faults causes your current situation will still be with you.

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 19:12

anonymous 03:05, that is a very simple inspirational video. thanx for sharing. I think everyone on this website should get that question as a reply. awesome!

By anonymous at 23,Apr,12 01:13

Dave you are right, you arent breaking new ground and thats the point!!!!
Lonliness and feeling life is pointless is nothing new.Its the human condition and it why we have invented so many ways to distract ourselves.
I have my own story just as you do and i feel very similar to the way you do.
Im 47 and I have discovered the only way to give life meaning is to live it for other people, not for yourself.
I dont mean live life for all people, undeserving idiots, tossers, etc etc. I mean to find happiness in making someone or something worthy happy is the only point to life.
As humans we arent meant to be alone. we are social animals, we are pack animals like dogs. The modern world allows us to be linked to each other in a way that isnt healthy, by IT. We have to be linked to each other in person.
Computers and phones allow us to stay seperate from the very thing we need to be happy and healthy,interaction with other people.
At one time humans relied on each other to survive, it was impossible to survive for long as an individual. Thats why exclusion from a society or pack meant ones death.
In our horrible but privelidged Western world we dont NEED each other to survive anymore BUT we do need each other to be happy and healthy.
A life lived for oneself is empty, a life lived for others is full and normal.
Look at a shopping centre on a saturday afternoon, most people there dont need to buy anything thats imperative to their survival. They flock there to be around others, I do it myself.Im a very lonely woman. Im 47, divorced with no kids and like you a family who are distant.
Im aware that I chat to people I dont know in the queue and Im aware that they do it to. Sometimes I wait and see how long it takes for someone to start talking to me about something trivial.
Its because we have to connect with others and it isnt trivial. Its actually a very interesting human dynamic.
No matter where you go in the world you will find the same dynamics working between people.
See how many old, housebound or infirm people are now connected to the internet.
They cant get out to meet people in the normal human way and they have found a solace in the internet. They can connect in some way to the rest of the world.
It gives them a kind of lifeline but it doesnt give them what they really need. To be connected to a real person in front of them.
My lonliness is sometimes so overpowering I feel as if the walls of my house are about to collapse on me. Ive lived this way for years and the only way I can cope is to think about someone else I know and then try to see them.
Ive got everything I need to survive.I have food, a home, heat, laptop, dvds etc but I dont have what I need to live. Someone to live for. I was at my happiest in my life when I had a partner. Someone I could make happy. Im single now and I choose to focus my love and attention on making my mom and my cats happy. Im the person you see who stops to pick up an injured bird from the roadside or take a dead cat to the rescue centre instead of leaving in in the street. Dave we arent all having fun. Even my twenty something nephews have told me they find life tedious and as a result they drink far too much just to pass the time!!!!! Drink, drugs, food ,gambling, look around you and you will see that a lot of those people having fun have just found something to pass the time also.
Theres no secret, no mystery, no holy grail. I do wish you loads of luck. I hope you find the inner happiness that you yearn for. I actually think you will.

By al.b at 23,Apr,12 06:01

Dave,maybe some meds too bridge the gap for a while.Then maybe a lil therapy too talk out some of your issues and get a different perspective on how your looking at things in your life.If you can look back at something you where passioniate about during your youthful days pick it up again.Then who knows maybe whats missing is there for those who seek it,picking up and leaving i do hope it works but i dont see it take my advice i've layed out for you only kiddin on a serious note G.L

By Psychologist PhD at 01,May,12 17:09

Dear friends,

This is true advice from a highly paid psychologist. I'm not trying to impress you, but to impress upon you that this advice is legit. I'm trying to get you to pay attention. I've posted this to many of you, so don't let that lessen the value of these proven techniques.

I'll cut to the chase. The secret to happiness: What you focus on is your reality.

Try this -- Focus on being grateful -- and I don't mean this like a lecturing parent. I say this as a PROVEN THERAPY STRATEGY for souls in pain.

When you feel gratitude, you can't feel anything bad -- it's one of the most pure, happy emotions humans have.

Try this. This sounds really silly, but it WORKS!

Go on you tube and look up Refugee Camps. Watch those videos. In a blink, your troubles are put into perspective.

Then take a moment and just be grateful for everything you have that those pour souls do not. If you focus only on gratitude, watch what happens!

Being grateful is a choice.

No matter what is happening, you can find something to be grateful about. That is the TRUE POWER you have. That is the SECRET TO HAPPINESS.

Try this. Get yourself super grateful, let that feeling take you over -- then go be with people. See what happens. Try this with strangers. See what happens.

Remember, people are like mirrors, they REFLECT what you are projecting. So if you hate yourself, they will pick up that vibe and bounce it back at you. If you project gratitude, that pure beautiful universal emotion will bounce back at you!

Always remember for anything in life -- spend 20% of your energy on the problem, and 80% of your energy on the solution. Stick to this and watch what happens to your life.

Always ask yourself -- "What is my next action?" Your brain will search for a solution.

Your brain's job is to answer your questions. So if you ask your brain a rhetorical question like "Why me?!" The only answer will be "You are worthless, you are cursed!" -- because that was the answer you were looking for -- yes?

WHAT YOU FOCUS ON IS YOUR REALITY. Your brain has no idea what is real or imagined. So if you get hurt once but think about it 1,000 times, your brain suffers it 1,000 times.

I'll prove it to you. Think of the juiciest LEMON you've ever seen. You slice the lemon. It oozes juice. You take the lemon slice and you BITE into it.

What happened? Did you salivate? Because you IMAGINED a lemon in your brain, your BODY REACTED as if it were real. So there is your proof that what you imagine is real.

So thinking about this? If you imagine something horrible happening to you, wouldn't your body think it's real? If you relived a painful situation, wouldn't your body think it's happening again?

Now... if you relive a WONDERFUL MEMORY, wouldn't your mind think you're having another beautiful moment?

So now that you know this, and you still find yourself dwelling on the bad emotions -- it's evidence that you are conditioned to suffering -- because now you have a choice.

This means you have to do some soul searching.

It's time to investigate, face your issues, whatever they maybe. Focusing on wanting friendships, relationships, problems, etc.. is your unconscious need for a distraction from dealing with your repressed pain. People you are with feel the vibe, it's like a radio signal that you can't hide.

It's likely deep seeded self-esteem issues (we all have them).

Be honest with yourself. Read books, or articles online, if seeking therapy is too scary. Self help books on self-esteem.

Focus on the solution, don't dwell on the problem. Burning your energy on the problem will only lead to addiction to depression.

Deal with yourself first, and your true energy will attract the life, the people, the relationship, the things, the love you deserve.


By anonymous at 30,Jul,12 23:40

I know what its like to be a lonely guy. Not in a zillion years am I getting a girlfriend much less marriage. Girls and women are generally unfriendly uncaring vain selfish. Ive been lonely depressed and mentally tormented for years in this screwed up world ruled by the Devil.

By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 21:21

And my final comment to all you scum who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.

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