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Posted by anonymous at April 22, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Attitude  Sociopathy

I guess this is the part where I tell everyone how shitty my life appears to be in some ways. The truth is, I know how to fix them but it's like an ongoing record. I think too much. I wish there were some things I hadn't discovered, that way I could've stayed naive; like the rest of the world.

A couple of years ago I discovered The Law of Attraction or The Secret, per say. Of course, at first glimpse, you're thinking... this is complete bullshit. At the time I was like every other kid my age; young and dumb and full of cum but I didn't know any better. I was heavy into pot, I tried every other drug in the book just because I had the chance to and I grew up in a very dysfunctional yet mediocre family, if that makes sense. When you're told that your thoughts and feelings create your life, you feel like you have to actually monitor what you're thinking about all the time. Essentially, what you're thinking about creates how you feel. If you're thinking the situation you're in right now sucks, you're not going to feel very good and vice-versa. So when you think about it, it makes sense. The hard part is actually being proactive. Monitoring how you think is not easy... why? It's usually the situations in front of us that tend to hinder us from actually thinking before we do... make sense? Meaning, we can't control the circumstances that happen to us but we CAN control how we react to them. So in reality, it's really not only monitoring your thoughts but actually monitoring you, yourself and how you react to everything and everyone around you, regardless the situation.

This concept isn't hard to grasp. The hard part like I said is actually knowing what to do. This is where I'm at. I know what I want to do, I have an idea how I'm going to do it but the steps in doing it itself is too slow for me. I'm very impatient and I just want out now. Unfortunately, this is why I'm stuck. I can't control my thoughts and for that, I can't control how I feel. I'm so awkward socially or at least I come off as that because I'm so analytical.. about everything. So, as I think about all of this, it's like a game of ping pong inside my head; I'm constantly going back and forth between thoughts that I feel are right then wrong, but happy then sad. None of it makes sense. Finally, I know I'm crazy.

I'm 20 years old and I need professional help.


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New Comment

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 13:15

You know your problems. Now go out and get professional help. Take action.

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 16:52

count your blessings sir. don't group your problems all together, separate the solutions in your head. focus on the little things. because the little things can add up to make a big difference man.

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 17:27

you sound like youre scared of a lot of things, including living, so you have to make sure everything goes perfectly. dont be afraid to make mistakes sometimes, even if its in your thoughts.

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 19:22

dont think just do. and get a fucking job

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 20:38

I've read The Secret. You are right, it's hard to focus and control your thoughts. I think most of us who read The Secret fall short of the ideal. Just do your best with it. And start moving. P.S. I would NEVER be 20 again. It's a confusing age. See a therapist and talk it out if you need to. I think you'll do just fine.

By anonymous at 22,Apr,12 23:46

What you're feeling is a side affect of pot... So lay off the pot you fucking dumb-ass.

By anonymous at 25,Dec,12 09:49

What the fuck did you say? Something about smokin dope and really, really thinkin about what to do about thinkin maybe you analyze your thoughts about thinkin too much about what to do about things. Here's the secret: STOP SMOKING DOPE,maybe your mind will cler ot

By link building at 24,Oct,13 04:28

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