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life of hell

Posted by melissa09 at April 23, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Loneliness


so my life was pretty normal..up until 20-21...I had an ok childhood--yes a little abuse from family and depression big time but it was bearable. But when i hit 20ish...its like everything just began to go down the tubes, and ive been through 15 years of TORTURE, bad luck hell horror extreme suffering...just hell and nothing else. its like i was cursed or was and the curse began around that time and just went down to a roller coaster of horror for 15 years.. My life from then on was total ISOLATION...i couldnt make any friends ro meet anyone..people were mean to me...i did move to a different city but still, it was just so messed up. I tried desperately to make friends was very friendly but to no avail. no matter how hard i tried iw as ALWAYS alone... People would ban me from restaurants, gossip about me do horrible extreme things to me. My family also turned on me and my cruel mtoher destroyed my life legally financially and in horrendous ways...i cant get into the details but basically she put me through extremely horrific suffering for many many years--had me put on disability tricked me so she could receive the moeny and have 'control' over my life...she had me labeled, and did all this b/c she is a sociopath who wanted control over my life. i couldnt believe anyone could do this to someone and i had no clue what to do about it and still don't. I have to hire lawyers, and get justice legally but i would end up losing a lot since i rent in a place my dad owns and dont have the means to just get up and move. my mother's goal was to destroy me liek any abuser so i couldnt' make it on my own and i went through so much trauma and suffering...
ive only been ALONE SUFFERING thats it...i pray to God all the time i'd beg God to help me and just got MORE HELL AND SUFFERING....i used to say i felt like job or the prophet who went through many many trials....elijah and then he finally was taken away...b/c its been only non-stop trials...like in a bad movie...one thing after the next with NO BREAK NOTHING....just trial after trial after trial non-stop hel horror suffering...abuse..no healing no help from othesr..just torture and abuse from everyone...just totally alone suffering through this horrific trials with no explanation as to why these terrible thins were happening to me while im a good person....ive never drank done drugs...i was valedictorian of my high school a spelling bee champ...very bright person with a bright future whose sick motehr destroyed her and worse...others did too...my mother even got othesr to HELP her do these terrible things to my life and she got away with it ALL...all ive witnessed are people going to great lenghts to DESTROY me and succeeding at it...

i cant even get into it--my entire being was shattered tortured...worse ive been totally ALONE during all these years...no friends no fun...no LIFE. i never went to college parties never got invited anywhere..had virtually NO friends...guys never asked me out-- despite m ebeing a beautiful kind woman...i didnt get it..i thought surely i can get a boyfriend...but 15 years later-- i still CANT...its crazy and makes no sense-- men are very MEAN to me and rude and treat me like sh*t but they kiss other pretty girls a** and just abuse me. my life has been crazy and weird. Worse before my psycho mother took control of my life something really horrible happening to me and then my evil mother took advantage of my life and situation and decided to take control of it ...but ever since then all these horrible things kept happening to me... again ive been totally alone during all this..no boyfriend, no sex, no friends no life...and nothing i did would change this hell and i didnt know why all this was happening to me. i tried getting help from people since i was a sweet nice single girl going through all these horrible things alone and worse-- NO ONE helped me...no one cared...not a single friend no one...i even tried calling my mothers friend once to help me from her horrific abuse and she called her and ratted me out... its been a bad luck streak of 15 years and a definite curse...that was so strong there was nothing i could do about it. i went on a roller coaster of horror for 15 years...my life also was eitehr loneliness or abuse...either i was totally ALONE with no oen ro being absued by anyone who was around me. my family was cruel sadistic and did many horrid things to destroy my life and me...if i got into the details it would be too much but along with destrotying my life they stole 10k from me, got me in debt with the govt 12k forged checks did so much crap to me financially jsut to make sure i cant make it on my own. to this day if i tell my parents i have money saved up they would try to find a way to charge me extra rent or get it somehow..i have to hide my finances...im in my 30's but literally almost trying to escape my parents..since i live in a place they own....and they have put me through so much suffering im too scared to move out and try to make it on my own. I even tried going to counselors who were abusive to me and didnt help me out-- one guy kept missing appts on purpose then just stopped showing up...and he came and banged on my door and left--weird stuff...another counseling center several counselors were trash talking me..making up things about me...really mean and cruel and i couldn't go there anymore...tey were telling each other i had an 'addiction' b/c i was dealing with an abusive sociopathic male...rather than helping me out...and refused to see me-- which was so weird... i couldnt even get help.

my mother had already gotten many doctors involved in my situation went and lied to them telling them false things about me and getting reports written...my dad is a doctor and she could somehow get away with violating all hipaa laws which is crazy... my mother sealed my fate of dsetroying my life completely....and she was a monster and so abusive i feared her and i was also a very naive sweet innocent person who trusted my family and didnt know things like this can happen to people....after years of torture/suffering...(i havent even given any of the details its all too crazy)...i tried being a model and went through HELL...abuse by photographers and i met this psychopath who claimed he was in love with me but he was a sociopatho who was just wanted to control me. He refused sex with me wouldnt eevn be with me and literally...just mentally tortured me for fun was a sadist and very cruel. he was a witch or wiccan into black magic and other weird stuff...and he was stalking me and knew everything i did and wud call and tell me where i was at or what was right in front of me. He told me he watched me and he controlled and owned me...and put me in 'pain' and did all kinds of crap to me. he made me SUFFER....after years of only TORTURE no healign no friends no help no support loneliness horror...then i met this MANIAC...who literally just TORTURED me to oblivion...wow....it was horrific...all i wanted in life was a RELATIONSHIP a boyfriend...just one damn boyfriend--i begged God please..i cant take all this suffering loneliness... so then God sent me this literal psychopath to torture me and his only goal was to make me suffer and witness me suffering and enjoy it all...he even said "i LOVE to watch you suffer'...he was one of those dark people who delves in the dark arts, energy vampire type person...who can manipulate energy...i cant talk about the tortures i went through....and i met someone similar to him years back only ont he internet who tortured me too in a similar way... i only attract negative dark sick people...who literally get off on torturing me. or WEIRD crazy sick people.

the horrible thing is.. imm a normal kidn caring BEAUTIFUL smart girl...why my life has been this extreme...with people controlling oppressing torturing me is a sick mystery...healers told me its karmic blah blah...i didnt want to believe it....but the worse part is..i cant do ANYTHING to change it....except move and im too scared to move alone... ive been on dating sites to meet guys...despite being super gorgeous...i cant meet ANYONE...its like im destined or fated just to SUFFER... most girls i know went to college me ta guy and then got married or even if not they had 'ok' lives...id ont know anyone who went through this kind of intense horrific suffering for 15 years and still going....im destined to just be ALONE and suffer horribly...in extreme sick bizarre ways...ive felt like a martyr...like someone who is tortured over and over again and just suffers non-stop with no way of stopping it...i cant get any respite or breaks..fun or vacations...i struggle to meet anyone who will hang out with me....however...the weir thing is i look like a super model...im beautiful down to earth girl next door...kind caring normal loving sweet...im monogamous a virgin...however i cant meet ANYONE...no matter how hard i try only crazy horrible things keep happening to me and im stuck in this weird whirlwind of hell....ive been through so mcuh trauma i was too scared to do anything justifiably and still...even now it seems there nothing i can do. my life is ether stagnancy...and loneliness or EXTREME suffering...so extreme its hard to dscribe...going through MAJOR horrid things with people destroying controlling and oppressing me in horrid ways....at one point even my entire NEIGHBORHOOD was harassing me b/c i threw ONE trash bag on my front door....they came to my door would bang on it write notes on my car...it got so crazy---like why??? why are people picking on ME for NO reason why a neighborhood of PEOPLE?? this was 8 years ago in the middle of all this extreme bizarre stuff and im like...why are all these horrible things happening to me..why am i being picked on oppressed abused by so many and im a normal sweet girl??? i used to think...theres a reason im sufferin and going through these things...but YEARS later...while my lief is teh SAME...im still SINGLE...i acnt meet anyone...i cant change it..i realize...theres no reason...im just doomed??? how can you look hotter than cindy crawford and not be able to meet a guy and only men wanting to torture you??? everyone wants to control torture oppress me...the ppl ive met or who have been interesed in me are WEIRDOS i meet online.. i mean CREEPY people like theyre probably either serial killers closet gay people who are creepy or who knows what-- and they like to mess with my head and play games thats it....if i could write a book about the horrors ive been through its just not right people would be shocked that one girl would have to go through SO MUCH HELL in life for NO reason...i dont do drugs ive never touched drugs id otn drink im pretty religious..im a virgin..im this really good sweet girl..why the hell have i had to suffer like this??....i used to say i dont know anyone who has been through so much suffering and worse...(though yes of course there are ppl who have been thru much worse) but only years of suffering...NOTHING else....how is this possible??? the worst part is-- 15 years later-- im still ALWAYS ALONE...NO FRIENDS no one...the only ppl in my life are the ones who have TORTURED me and i cant meet anyone else..my best friends are my worst enemies....and i acnt do anything to change it...and in a heartbeat they will call harass threaten me and threaten to destroy my life for any little thing or call the police on me.....and put me through immense suffering...if it ry meeting others it won't happen....its a horrid doom and curse i cant even get into in full detail....its crazy and sick....


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Comments:
By anonymous at 04,Jan,13 05:21

You are not alone in being alone especially with this persecution you face. Be strong, find Jesus no matter how hypocritical everyone else is. Don't sell yourself out, read the Word of God. He will give you strength, ask Jesus into your heart no one can take that love away. Cast the demons out of where you live, rebuke them in Jesus's name.


By link building at 24,Oct,13 00:53

vmvyTj A round of applause for your post. Awesome.


By you want this now at 14,Dec,13 21:43

BIBSWT I truly appreciate this blog article.Thanks Again. Awesome.


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