I am literally surrounded by loved ones and friends, but that does nothing to make me feel any less lonely than I do. I am in college. My best friends are all away this semester. My family lives states away from me. My friends from home go to schools far from where I am. I am constantly surrounded by people that claim they care about me, they love me, they are my friends....but what they say and what they do are two different stories. My true loved ones are miles and miles away. I hate living in a world that I feel utterly alone in. I haven't really had a true healthy relationship with a guy. When I have a potential relationship I get myself so worked up that I obsess over it though so scared I never pursue it, which only hurts more. Every time I talk to or skype a loved one that is far from me the conversation ends in a fit of tears as the last thing I want to do is end the call. I miss them so much. My life feels empty and pointless without having them here to share it with. They of course remind me that they are always here, though not physically, always here for me. It doesn't help that feeling of loneliness go away though. I have done so poorly this semester in school. I am a straight-A student and have always been on the Dean's list. I don't think my grades will cut it this semester. I have no motivation to get out of bed, let alone do any work. I put off everything my school work, to actual work, to seeing the friends I do still have around campus. Nothing seems worth the time or energy. I find myself that person that says "I need a drink" after a tough day. I have never been that person before. Not that I drink more than once or twice a week, but that when my day has been especially hard I rely on another substance to make me calm down or unwind, as I am incapable of facing my problems without some help. All I want to do is curl up in bed with one of my loved ones, but every night I return to an apartment of girls that I barely know well enough to say hi to when I pass them in the street. I shouldn't complain. I lead a truuly blessed life. I just don't understand why I feel so incredibly low and sad and lonely all the time lately. | |
When you feel gratitude, you can't feel anything bad -- it's one of the most pure, happy emotions humans have.
Try this. This sounds really silly, but it WORKS!
Go on you tube and look up Refugee Camps. Watch those videos. In a blink, your troubles are put into perspective.
Then take a moment and just be grateful for everything you have. If you focus only on gratitude, watch what happens!
Being grateful is a choice. No matter what is happening, you can find something to be grateful about. That is the TRUE POWER you have. That is the SECRET TO HAPPINESS.
Try this. Get yourself super grateful, let that feeling take you over -- then go be with people. See what happens. Try this with strangers. See what happens.
Remember, people are like mirrors, they REFLECT what you are projecting. So if you hate yourself, they will pick up that vibe and bounce it back to you. If you project gratitude, that pure beautiful universal emotion will bounce back at you!
Always remember for anything in life -- spend 20% of your energy on the problem, and 80% of your energy on the solution. Stick to this and watch what happens to your life.
Always ask yourself -- "What is my next action?" Your brain will search for a solution.
Your brain's job is to answer your questions. So if you ask your brain a rhetorical question like "Why me?!" The only answer will be "You are worthless, you are cursed!" -- because that was the answer you were looking for -- yes?
WHAT YOU FOCUS ON IS YOUR REALITY. Your brain has no idea what is real or imagined. So if you if you get hurt once but think about it 1,000 times, your brain suffers it 1,000 times.
I'll prove it to you. Think of the juiciest LEMON you've ever seen. You slice the lemon. It oozes juice. You take the lemon slice and you BITE into it.
What happened? Did you salivate? Because you IMAGINED a lemon in your brain, your BODY REACTED as if it were real. So there is your proof that what you imagine is real.
So thinking about this? If you imagine something horrible happening to you, wouldn't your body think it's real? If you relived a painful situation, wouldn't your body think it's happening again?
Now... if you relive a WONDERFUL MEMORY, wouldn't your mind think you're having another beautiful moment?
So now that you know this, and you still find yourself dwelling on the bad emotions -- it's evidence that you are conditioned to suffering -- because now you have a choice.
This means you have to do some soul searching.
It's time to investigate, face your issues, whatever they maybe. Focusing on wanting friendships, relationships, problems, etc.. is your unconscious need for a distraction from dealing with your repressed pain. People you are with feel the vibe, it's like a radio signal that you can't hide.
It's likely deep seeded self-esteem issues (we all have them).
Be honest with yourself. Read books, or articles online, if seeking therapy is too scary. Self help books on self-esteem.
Focus on the solution, don't dwell on the problem. Burning your energy on the problem will only lead to addiction to depression.
Deal with yourself first, and your true energy will attract the life, the people, the relationship, the things, the love you deserve.
Again, the SECRET TO LIFE: WHAT YOU FOCUS ON IS YOUR REALITY!!
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