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Kill Me

Posted by Sky at April 27, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Juvenile problems

My dad died of cancer when I was three, my mother got breast cancer when I was 17, but she survived. However she never was the same. My mother has a bad temper and she always yells nonstop at even the little things I do, like moving back and fourth to get a drink of water. I love my mother, but she seems not to like me, and so it stresses me out.
At school nobody wants to talk with me, even if I try they would ignore me or get into an argument with me. I have no real friends, just people who need me. I play no sport, my grades suck. I have a 3.07GPA which will get me no where. My mother knows that as well she keeps pesetering me about it.
I know this sounds like a typical teenage drama, but the worst part is that I just want my mother to be proud of me. She sets up expectations that are too hard to reach, and for that I try to find love somewhere else, but no one will give it to me.
If you met me in real life, you probably would hate me too. I want to commit suicide because life sucks, but the only thing holding me back is the fear of hell.
On top of all this I am struggling with the idea of a god. I have been a Christian my whole life, but now I am sinking and I don't see any support from above. I am so sad, and I do not have a meaning in life anymore. What should I do?


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New Comment

By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 03:12

What to do? First off, stop believing in god. A deity will get you absolutely nowhere! God only exists because people are childish and want parents "from above" when they get older. Accept that people suck. If you're mother is giving you a hard time find a job with many hours and move out, even if you have to live in a room in someone's house. After that, you should start realizing what you need to do...
By Cursed at 29,Apr,12 14:42

When I was 12, I used a Ouja board with my friends. I asked "who was I going to marry?" It spelled out- GRANT AMARAL. I later met him when I was 23. To this day, it sends shivers down my spine. If there is no "GOD" or "SATAN" then what thing exactly moved that object to spell out this man's name? There must be some "force" out there- I swear I am not making this up....

By at 28,Apr,12 03:46

Life path is fixed 50% destiny and the remaining can be change..
Upon born date will able to tell a person will suffer ..

We can change ourself by knowing our 5 elements
Upon born...

By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 03:56

Remember all the hard times you have gone through already and live on. Think, do I want to just die now after having to endure all of that? Things will improve one day.

It's sort of like reading a book. Even if it's a bad book, you sort of want to know what happens in the end. Just keep on reading this book which is your life and see where it leads you.
By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 14:41

good advice.

By at 28,Apr,12 05:01

Sup, mate? Do you find it stressing living with your rents? I say, move out, then, be a hooker. Smoke grass, drop out of school, and just do the things you have always loved to do. And one more thing, stop whining you clusterfucked piece of human shit!
By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 14:40

you are a complete disgrace!

By at 28,Apr,12 06:32

Please ignore all the comments above ... Just relax . . And dont think about suicide cause once opon time an old man told me that the braveness is not in killing our self but its in living our life..,, and please dont hate your mom iam sure she loves you so much i know its sucks to be yield at you but thats human nature nobody is the same ... And iam sure that God exist but you have to believe .. Iam by my self a muslim and i beilive in god and jises and mhamad our messenger ... And just wana say that you are young and you have the full life ahead...

By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 11:02

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” – Phil 4:19
‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

"Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully". 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)
"The Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows (recognizes, has knowledge of, and understands) those who take refuge and trust in Him". Nahum 1:7 (AMP)

Do you take refuge and trust in him?

This is a trying time for your faith. The question is, will you be like Job in the bible, when things were awful in his life (family died, had sores all over his body) he still believed and worshipped God. Then he was rewarded for his faith. What your going through is miniscule to what many many people are going through let alone Job (im not trying to guilt trip you, just trying to give you a comparison) if you need better grades pray, work harder, and maybe your results will be better. Dont despair/get anxious, because of a dip in GPA.

If your questioning whether God exists heres what it comes down too. You can either believe in God the creator, or believe that nothing created everything. Its your choice.

Now I think is a good time to ask, are you saved? Is jesus your lord and savior? Have you given him your life? He died on the cross for our sin so that we could have eternal life, all we have to do is believe and ask for forgiveness.

By at 28,Apr,12 15:26

GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 21:50 Fold Up

You religios need to go away you only make things worse.

By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 11:37

Go in the military.

By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 11:53

nothing created god so god cant exist your logic

By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 14:38

Oh my darling, you have had such a lot to go through so young! please, remember that GOD does love you and I know his angels have their arms around you. please don't despair. You are destined for better things and you will help others because of the pain you have endured! xxxxxxxx keep strong my darling and don't be afraid to pray for help when you need it.x

By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 21:49

The Christian deity is supposed to be all forgiving so I'm sure if you wanted to you could kill yourself and still get into heaven if that's what you believe.

By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 03:49

Its sad to hear your part of story. Just hang on. Life isn't so bad. Get yourself involved in some kind of activities like volunteering or learning dance or music. Just keep yourself busy. I understand what you are going through but it will get better. Trust me it will.

By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 18:25

I don't believe in god, even if god exists, he doesn't have time to care you. Just think about how many people he really cared in the whole human history! But life belongs to yourself or ONLY. If you don't care about it who else will care?

By anonymous at 02,May,12 02:23

Kill me:

By Keyon at 24,May,16 19:38

ten stat tu neni par let tahle komunita existuje uz tisice let a vznikla za penize nasich predku kterym se to tak libilo. kazdy muze jit linabelre jinam kdyz se mu u nas nelibi

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