Once you start posting messages on a website called "life sucks big time," I think it's fair to say your life is really in the shithole. Unfortunately, this particular life happens to be mine.
I'm a 21 year old male, have dropped out of college twice, am gay, never been in a relationship, the few friends that I have don't really care about me all that much - it's not like they hate me or anything, they're just indifferent. I'm living with my ultra-conservative Catholic parents, and I have no job. I don't think I'm ugly, though I'm not an athlete by any means, but my lack relationships leads me to believe there's obviously something wrong with me.
There's this guy I've been in love with since high school, who is under the delusion that we've got this great friendship that can't be ruined with a relationship. We've slept together once, but then he said he just had no feelings, that he can't see me as anything other than a friend, blah blah blah.
I know I'm smart - I was voted most likely to succeed in high school. I received a 4.0 during the one good semester I had in college. But quite frankly, the only thing I'm concerned about is my total absence of a love life. I'm not comfortable being gay, probably because I have to hide it around the Gestapo here at home. I feel like I will be alone the rest of my life. I twisted my whole life around for a guy who has no feelings for me, and I know I have to move on, but seeing as how I put 110% effort into this guy only to produce an absolute failure, I fail to see how the same won't happen.
Anyways, that's my story. Life sucks - hopefully it'll get better. | |
Good luck my friend-
Cursed
Cursed
I'll cut to the chase. The secret to happiness: What you focus on is your reality.
Try this -- Focus on being grateful -- and I don't mean this like a lecturing parent. I say this as a PROVEN THERAPY STRATEGY for souls in pain.
When you feel gratitude, you can't feel anything bad -- it's one of the most pure, happy emotions humans have.
Try this. This sounds really silly, but it WORKS!
Go on you tube and look up Refugee Camps. Watch those videos. In a blink, your troubles are put into perspective.
Then take a moment and just be grateful for everything you have that those pour souls do not. If you focus only on gratitude, watch what happens!
Being grateful is a choice.
No matter what is happening, you can find something to be grateful about. That is the TRUE POWER you have. That is the SECRET TO HAPPINESS.
Try this. Get yourself super grateful, let that feeling take you over -- then go be with people. See what happens. Try this with strangers. See what happens.
Remember, people are like mirrors, they REFLECT what you are projecting. So if you hate yourself, they will pick up that vibe and bounce it back at you. If you project gratitude, that pure beautiful universal emotion will bounce back at you!
Always remember for anything in life -- spend 20% of your energy on the problem, and 80% of your energy on the solution. Stick to this and watch what happens to your life.
Always ask yourself -- "What is my next action?" Your brain will search for a solution.
Your brain's job is to answer your questions. So if you ask your brain a rhetorical question like "Why me?!" The only answer will be "You are worthless, you are cursed!" -- because that was the answer you were looking for -- yes?
WHAT YOU FOCUS ON IS YOUR REALITY. Your brain has no idea what is real or imagined. So if you get hurt once but think about it 1,000 times, your brain suffers it 1,000 times.
I'll prove it to you. Think of the juiciest LEMON you've ever seen. You slice the lemon. It oozes juice. You take the lemon slice and you BITE into it.
What happened? Did you salivate? Because you IMAGINED a lemon in your brain, your BODY REACTED as if it were real. So there is your proof that what you imagine is real.
So thinking about this? If you imagine something horrible happening to you, wouldn't your body think it's real? If you relived a painful situation, wouldn't your body think it's happening again?
Now... if you relive a WONDERFUL MEMORY, wouldn't your mind think you're having another beautiful moment?
So now that you know this, and you still find yourself dwelling on the bad emotions -- it's evidence that you are conditioned to suffering -- because now you have a choice.
This means you have to do some soul searching.
It's time to investigate, face your issues, whatever they maybe. Focusing on wanting friendships, relationships, problems, etc.. is your unconscious need for a distraction from dealing with your repressed pain. People you are with feel the vibe, it's like a radio signal that you can't hide.
It's likely deep seeded self-esteem issues (we all have them).
Be honest with yourself. Read books, or articles online, if seeking therapy is too scary. Self help books on self-esteem.
Focus on the solution, don't dwell on the problem. Burning your energy on the problem will only lead to addiction to depression.
Deal with yourself first, and your true energy will attract the life, the people, the relationship, the things, the love you deserve.
Again, the SECRET TO LIFE: WHAT YOU FOCUS ON IS YOUR REALITY!!
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