This si my 4th entry in this website. And yes my life sucks.
I'm a 20 years old moroccan gay man, alone and lonely. I've been in some relationships that lasted only for some days. I have lots of qualities that can make of me a very popular person. I'm smart, somehow funny, and somehow nice. I study French at University, and I know lots of poeple. I hang around with them a lot, I somehow feel accepted and loved. But it seems that at some point, they let go of me. I can't figure out why. I do my best so I can stay close to them, but it just doesn't work. I look around and see people talking and laughing, and having a good time together, but they barely notice me, or come to me. It always has to be me the one to go to them. Sometimes I just feel like I want people to abroad me, and talk to me. It might seem a very benign issue, but actually it sucks. I've come to lose all my emotions and my motivation. I don't feel like having friends anymore, though I know it's very important. Maybe that's the reason why after all ? It shows that I'm a very cold person, so nobody dare approach me ? I also feel uncomfortable under my skin(But I don't lack much of self confidence). I think other people are resilient and independant, unlike me. I can go and talk to someone, and make it look like I really need them, but they seem to be distant and careless. I feel like being with me or not is something that makes no difference. People have their own lives, and I don't. They act the way they like, and are not afraid to show it. And that pisses me off.
I don't know if what I say makes sens, but I hope you understand me.