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life sucks :/

Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Juvenile problems  Philosophical is another life story. 16 yrs old seems like a long time, ever since i can remember..ive been... unusual,(that weird kid) i dont know what it was growing up..the fact that im 6"4. or maybe really fat. who knows but i was never accepted by kids. i didn't let it get me to down just kept going to school every day. i always hated it. failed my classes i was very unintelligent. if it wasn't for the spell check you would be seeing as you read this long kids got worse around 7th grade. thats when puberty was hitting everyone hard i guess. lines were drawn on who were the "popular kids"..and the losers..(me)..i got bullied hard,
i dont even know why? i was at least 4inc taller than most of em.. i didnt put up much of a fight. being raised as a hardcore christian, i was more like a giant teddy bear than a huge fighter.. i never did make friends...just sat through my classes each day every day.. come high school i found that one friend. and who would o thunk he was a "popular kid" so just like that i got into the group?
but i didnt know why they were " the popular kid" how they got all the chicks
seems like they were praised by everyone even the cool teachers.then i took a good long look at it they were huge rebels, ya pot smokers, crime, doing what ever they want basically. being raised a good christian kid i despised that, but.. they were the only friends i got? so about mid way through freshman year.they turned on me..said i should just kill that i went back to being (the weird kid with no friends) puberty was helping my self esteem either i got hit with zits BAD! i was so badly bullied i had to drop out of school about a year ago..thinking online school would be the way to go..thats not true... like i said early i am very stupid to an extent i think i might be a lil retarded,so i dropped that,,just like that i was a 15 yr old who didnt go outside afraid of the worlds my only thing i had to do with my spare time was wow/ if you dont know the internet is a CRUEL place
i was faced with the phrase "THERE IS NO GOD!" so the only person that made me feel good when i was down if "fake" ppl always say there is no evidence or something stupid like flying spaghetti monster...that hit me so hard..of course im still a christian but...damn.. my depression got wicked bad. the the point where i was put into an institution..when i did get out i just went back to the usual wow and internet. luckily i found something outside of religion that made me happy. i came across a community knows as "brony" a bunch of kids my age who like mlp.. something about the show i dont know..maybe it was the message of friendship i never got from anyone.. i admit its a lil...childish..but wtf i dont care, but come a community on the internet comes..unspeakable.. disgusting things. you know? nothing crushes your fav show like gore and porn lots and lots of porn..ya i went into a deeper depression. i was always taught as a kid drugs and alcoholism were wrong... so why were the "popular kids getting praised and fucking every girl they want for doing them"
i was taught it was a sin" just like porn addiction let alone..ugh.pony porn...
but WAIT..ppl are so sure there isnt a where do i go? do i continue being a christian and be marked as stupid? or do i drop it and have a huge hole in my chest and feel..useless..unwanted..unloved..on top of all that all my family seem to be dieing all at all at least they go to heaven..O WAIT
ppl are sure they just sit in the ground and rot..well thats my story..thanks for reading.god bless


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By anonymous at 30,Apr,12 10:16

Don't change yourself because of what you see out there. Sounds like your life is ups and downs. I don't know what internet you go on, but I've always enjoyed it here. Made some online friends too. Best thing is those online games. I guess I was playing teenage games before, if you play adult gsmes, there might be some porn

By anonymous at 30,Apr,12 12:18

try sleeping in bed more it helps me when im down

By at 30,Apr,12 14:23

good day old chap, maybe you should try finding a one legged woman with a colostomy bag to love. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

By Cursed at 30,Apr,12 15:21

Dear Friend-
If you find comfort in God, and I myself know for a fact there is definitely some "force" out there- then go right the hell ahead and do it! Screw what every one else says on here about "God", if your faith is important to you, then I think that is admirable. On top of that, if I were 6'4" and someone was making fun of me or was being mean to me, I would SIT on them. Squash them until they begged for mercy! Don't let people who are unhappy with themselves, drag you down too- Alcohol and drugs don't help when your depressed, everyone knows that. So staying away from those things, you're smarter than most! AND you are smart. You can write, you can read, and you seem kind and humble. I'd take hanging out with you than any ego-maniac that claims to have a high IQ! WHO gives a flying !#@#$# whether you have a high IQ???? am I suposed to be impressed? Does that make you more important? Whatever. You know what impresses me? people who have a sense of humor. People who think of others before themselves. People who have hearts of gold. Thats impressive. I could care less how "popular" someone is- what really matters is if you go to sleep at night knowing that you did something good that day. Something courteous, something heroic, something kind. Too much emphasis is placed on "ACHEIVEMENT" and you know what, if you are a rotten person, then I don't give a crap if you're Donald Trump! (I think he is a narcisistic prick by the way) And what's up with that comb over? You'd think that with all the money he's got, he'd at least kick down for some hair implants? Yikes. So, what I am trying to say to you is this- be a good person. Believe in god. Believe in yourself! And as a sidenote, you may be experiencing depression, and there is medication for that. Go to the doc, get on some anti-depressants, and get your life back. Anyhow, I wish you the best-

By anonymous at 30,Apr,12 21:20

Do you know whats there for you. to heel you to make you feel good to love you unconditionaly never judges you never calls you names never critisizes and dosent care how you look or smell....sweet sweet tequila. it ll make you popular make you fuck bitches maybe evan rob a moa'fucka or two, so it might help you get money too. its a huge in every sip. stay thirsty my friend.

By anonymous at 30,Apr,12 21:49

You sound alright to me, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm about the same age as you and I don't really have any friends. Better no friends than 100 fake ones I say. Hey I'm happy to play wow with you anytime reply to this comment and I'll add you :) have a good day.

By anonymous at 01,May,12 05:31

Dude whats up with the mentions of pony porn somewhat sounds like your into it without sayin almost like a cry for help,with that said your still young so seek some help maybe sone meds mixed with some group therapy so your meet others and see that where all fuked up fallable ppl and find some peace and hopefully you can grab unto something positive and become passionate about GL TO YOU.

By anonymous at 02,May,12 00:22

Don't stop believing in God. What if your wrong about his existence and then you end up in hell. Then you your life on earth and afterlife has been hell. Also even if you drop the idea of God, it's not like you life is going to change and you suddenly get all the girls and become popular. So just keep believing, because either way your life is shit, so is mine but there is hope in the afterlife.

By anonymous at 03,Jun,12 21:59

As an ugly,43 year old male with mental illness,the world was, is, and always will be a horrible, evil place. From when I was an infant waking up in the dark and feeling alone, scared, and vulnerable, seeing live chickens slaughtered on a farm, seeing for the first time a dead cat on a roadway, watching my fraternal grandfather mentally and physically degenerate, going to nursing home and witnessing other elderly patients, losing my beloved pets one after the other, losing a beloved aunt from cancer, and losing my beloved father from heart disease and stroke, and being intensely lonely all my life as I can't get a girlfriend. Cruelty describes this world. Going to hospitals, funeral homes, cemeteries, and having to decide burial or cremation. Its a fucking horror. On the several occasions I' ge had to go to a hospital, I witnessed horrific suffering. This is what hell must be like. Is this all Satan's fault, or some devil's fault? Why then is the devil allowed the freedom and power to cause harm and havoc? The genesis account of Adam and Eve's sin ruining human nature and ruining the natural order does not and cannot explain and does not and cannot explain every instance of evil and suffering, and its cruel, unfair, and unjust to ruin and punish all humanity and all of creation because two ignorant unevolved people couldn't control their curiousity thousands of years ago. What does the mass starvation of people, cats and dogs, birth defects and deformities, tooth decay, malaria, cancer, Ebola, hurricanes, tsunamis, etc, have to do with Adam and eves sin? So I have to be born a sinner(and worthy of hell), have to suffer from loneliness, depression, and mental illness, and have to suffer and die from some horrible disease or accident because of something that happened that I had no say in, had no part of, for something that two people did thousands of years before I was even born. Does anyone see the insanity and stupidity in this? Execuse me, that's Adam and eves sin, its NOT my sin. I didn't create nor cause my sinful nature. I didn't choose my sinful nature. Nobody, as sinful or as evil they are, is responsible for their sinfulness or their evil. And how STUPID, how INSANE, and IMMORAL and WRONG and IRRESPONSIBLE to corrupt, ruin, and trash the entire creation because of free will, Satan's sin, and Adam and eves sin. Are these justifiable reasons to flush the creation down the toilet? I say NOT. Not in my book. Why does God behave in such an irrational, unreasoning, unfair, unwise, unintelligent, and cruel manner? How long is this cruel,insane, destructive experiment with free will going to continue? How long are God and Satan going to continue this endless war with eachother? Are God and Satan still trading punches with eachother, eons later? How could this battle still be raging when God is supposed to be stronger and smarter than Satan? Something is wrong with this picture. And why does it seem like,at least to me, that Satan keeps on winning this endless battle? Hatred, selfishness, and unconcern greatly outweighs love, altruism, and caring in the world. This experiment in free will is a grievous error, a huge disaster, tragedy, and travesty. The creation has been set up to be screwed by free will, Satan, and Adam and eves sin. Outrage,insanity,stupidity, travesty. I'm fuming angry. By the way, animals have suffered and died millions of years before Adam and eves sin and before hominids in the prehuman, prehistoric world, through predation, parasites, diseases, and natural disasters, and entire species became extinct. Who or what is to blame for this? My point is this, we still don't know and still cannot explain the reason for suffering and evil in the world. We have religious explanations and myths, but who or what to believe? Whose version of reality is the true one? I don't believe anybody knows, and I don't pretend to know myself. My only hope is that the afterlife will be a better place than this.

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