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LIFE SUCKS : 2012 April

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Saddest stories:

  • fucking hate my life
  • I am so lonely it hurts
  • No light on the end of the tunnel
  • Fuck my life
  • I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!
  • worst. life. ever.
  • Humans are a pathetic Race. I hate that I am Human.
  • Why is life so boring and shit?
  • I don't understand why I was born
  • what's the point?
  • When I became disabled, killed myself when I lost my job after 12 FMLA ended, Family making me want to do it again.
  • My life sucks too
  • An empty, dead life
  • There is no rock bottom
  • lifsucks
  • It wasn't really me, it was them
  • I am so lonely
  • Could be worse, I guess
  • On the outside
  • Dont know
  • Bad Moon Risin'
  • fightin for what i worked for!
  • I'm tired of my life
  • Forever Alone
  • Fucked up life
  • UNHAPPY !!
  • cant stand living
  • Bitch ass Life....
  • I can't take it
  • I hate my Life
  • I hate my life
  • I'm sick of life.
  • life sucks
  • The loneliness gets worse as I get older
  • The only alien on the planet
  • Reasons Why My Life Sucks
  • Sigh
  • My life really sucks--but its all true.
  • Ugh....My stupid life
  • Cursed?
  • In prison in Mexico
  • Fuck everything
  • Hate my fucking my marriage
  • Life is a test
  • I am sick of this world I just want out
  • Where do I go from here?
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    [Tell Your Story]  "The pit" (fresh stories)

    ex-girlfriend

    Posted by tim at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Failure

    I have never really ever been good ay anything. Was never smart, athletically inclined, rich, etc.

    I joined the Army 18, was sent overseas where my superiors mentally and physically abused me. I reported this and all I was told to 'suck it up' . I deployed overseas, came back and got a job as a Police Officer. Sound good right?

    Think again, I wasn't really good as a Police Officer and was threatened to be fired nearly everyday. My girlfriend found out I cheated on her, accused me of physical abuse. I lose my Police Officer job and can never re-gain employment as a Police, Law Enforcement or any other job like that ever again. I tried to get into corrections, but again can't have a job like this because of my employment history.

    So now I sit in my apartment, living on my life savings, abusing RX drugs and getting fat. I could go to college on the GI bill, but it won't pay for everything and I'll just end up working in a factory.


    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    the relationship that never was

    Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Relationship   Sociopathy

    My life sucks. In perspective of everything else, it is a pretty good life, but I can't help but feel sad and depressed. You feel what you feel I guess. There's no stopping it. Any advice will help. Please be considerate.

    So it goes like this. It's a relationship that never happened. I don't know if many people have this sort of problem, but I am heartbroken over something that was never there. We met at the beginning of my senior year, officially. I had always known him because he's star of the school (captain of soccer team, president of the student body, lead in the school play). He is certainly impressive, and I had always wanted to get to know him but never had the chance. It didn't use to bother me much. But suddenly, at the beginning of this year, I could tell he was impressed by my academics. And he wanted to get to know me better. Everyone loved him. But he wanted to talk to me! It was a fairytale. I've made a couple of moves to try to talk to him, and he reciprocated.

    That's the problem.

    When he tries to talk to me, I freeze and panic. I can't seem to think of anything. He would stand next to me and smile, but he never initiates the conversation. I wish he was more blunt, but that's not his personality. He would just stand there and watch me. He stares at me in the hallways until it gets awkward. The reason I don't talk to him is that I think he'll realize that I'm not as cool of a person as he THOUGHT I was. Then I'll ruin the fair...

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    Comments: 14   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by Fox at April 26, 2012
    Static LinkTags: 2012 April   Childhood

    When I was a kid I had no friends in school everyone ignored me and made fun of me over stupid things... I eventually started to skyive school and try faking being sick and stuff I remember screaming and crying because I didn't want to go everyone would talk about me behind my back so I just decided I would ignore them all and not stoop towards there level... Eventually I felt so alone I would cry about being alone all the time and self harm my self when I was in the bath with my razor blades...eventually people started to notice that there was something wrong with me they noticed my scratches but did nothing about it I eventually started trying to gain some aspect of control over my life by being anorexic because every thing was just falling apart I had no real friends and my mum and dad were split up and argued a lot my mum was also an alcoholic I remember comforting her when she was sick and crying screaming my name....then when I was 14 my dad committed suicide I was the first person to discover his body...I still think I'm living in a nightmare and I will wake up soon, when I discovered his body time went by so slowly I remember thinking about how much I missed him already and that I wish that I could have helped him... I also remember staring at my reflection as if to comfort myself because my dad was the only one who I really cared about me he was my best friend and the only person I felt safe with... After he died me my mum and my sister moved away to be closer to...

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    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    There is no rock bottom

    Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Attitude   Childhood   Family

    When I was 8 years old, my father knocked off his secretary, and I was sent away to boarding school so my parents could sort out their marriage. The first few nights I was there, I was molested by other boys. The staff knew what had happened, but they did nothing.

    I begged my parents to let me come home. They never said a word.

    I didn't have one single romantic experience in high school, despite working out at an insane level. All that happened was girls regarded me with pity, and said I'd meet someone.

    I turned to drugs and alcohol after leaving school. At 19, I had my first mental breakdown. I couldn't go five minutes without crying and having a panic attack. My doctor prescribed me an antidepressant and an antipsychotic, the latter of which killed my soul and made me gain 4 stone in 6 months. I was 8 stone, now I'm nearer 13.

    I tried to come off the olanzapine recently, and experienced psychotic symptoms. Despite losing 2 stone in weight, and feeling better about life, I was put back on the original dose. The weight has come back, and I once again feel like an empty shell.

    Because of who and what I am, a relationship is out of the question. I'm a 13 stone, depressed, psychotic, 23 year old virgin.

    You'd figure I could just stop caring. But it still hurts, even if I don't try anymore. Seeing my friends pair off one by one makes me feel like a razor blade is slicing into my heart.

    I'd kill myself, but I'm all my mother has. And I can't inflict that much pain on the only woman who has ever loved me.


    Comments: 85   Votes:


     

    loneliness

    Posted by yuyuhasi at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Loneliness

    I life has been getting worse by the day. Mainly because of my personal loneliness. Ive lost friend after friend and now I have almost none left. I feel like im kind to others but i have trouble keeping friendships. The feeling of loneliness that I have waking up in the morning is so painful in my heart. Its almost worse than physical pain. I dont know how to hold relationships and keep them lasting longer than a semester at school. My parents think im not normal for not having friends and i also think im not normal. With all the success that I may get from school or work, it almost seems like i cant celebrate because its just me. on my own. all the time. Sometimes i even cry about being alone and dont get out of bed 2 hours later. I want to stop feeling like this. I want to get to know somebody....


    Comments: 169   Votes:


     

    WTFF

    Posted by anonymousmoose at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Attitude

    I used to be fat im a 5'5" male and used to be 238lbs i am now 173lbs and still have no confidence to make friends or (more importantly) a girlfriend. im pretty sure im not "ugly" and i seem to be able to do minor flirting well with girls that i find attractive but then i pull in and get really shy and thats the end of it. now on to the better part finances and legal situation i am about 50 grand in debt and honestly i could have easily paid my bills before today i have a job albeit maybe not for long that pays me enough to have that paid off and living comfy in three years. the story ties together with me going out to a bar to meet a girl and ends with a dui and a loss of driving privileges and possibly getting fired b/c my job depends on me driving the work truck

    honestly writing this does help
    22 year old depressed guy thank you for reading


    Comments: 6   Votes:


     

    Where do I go from here?

    Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Family   Loneliness

    I'm 32 yrs old been married for 12 yrs. I had my daughter prematurely. She is a special needs child. This was about the darkest time in my life. My husband couldn't accept it and turned to drugs and alcohol. He's never been a good husband but I dealt with it because I loved him. Well now we have 2 more children 5 and 1. He quit the alcohol and drugs and he shockingly became a good daddy. Well a few months ago I found out he had a girlfriend. He's gone at work everyother week so he had no problems hiding it. Well about a month or so into his relationship I found out. I was devestated. I accepted him back for my kids sake. Also I really don't think at this point anyone else would want me. I have no family here where we live now. I'm surrounded by his family. I have no friends, no one to relate to. We live in the country so its hard for me to get out. We rely on one vehicle so most of the time I'm stuck at home. I'm afraid to be a single mom so I suffer in silence. Loneliness consumes me. I can't provide for my kids like he can and since I quit school to care for my daughter I only managed to get my GED. I feel trapped and lonely. Wondering if this is it. Is this what my life is reduced to? Total unhappiness. The only thing that gets me up in the a.m. is my kids. Well thanks for letting me vent. Maybe some day ill see the light at the end of the tunnel.


    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    hate

    Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Family

    I feel like im a terrible person for complaining and im gonna say right off the bat my story isn't as bad as all of the ones I read but this is my last resort. Anyway this all began about 4 or 5 years ago. I was nine when I figured out my dad was an alcoholic and I love my dad but it all went down hill from there.( It didn't help one bit my mother owns a bar in saint cloud 5 mins away from where I live). My dad began coming home late and drunk. 1 year or less later my mom figured out my dad had been cheating on her with her bartender Peggy,not only bartender but good friend. And then my mom began to drink and I was all alone. Being 11 I didn't k ow what to do I was all alone and sort of an out cast at school,keeping everything bottled up.i lost my best friend,my mom. As a rebound my mom dated a young 27 year old named matt which I thought was disgusting her being 45 anyway I felt alone my own mother wouldn't even talk to me anymore. I would cry myself to sleep every night for about 5 month. And yes I could be being over dramatic,if you want to think of it in that perspective. But I hurt. Pain I haven't ever felt. I was still yet very close with my fathers dad. And on the day my dad had me every two weeks me and and my grandpa should talk for hours he made me laugh like no one could. About 4 months later he died of lung cancer. And I felt a lone again. Myself as a Christian I knew hurt my self wad wrong and a sin... Even tho I have attempted before. But never going far fo...

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    Comments: 9   Votes:


     

    Bitch ass Life....

    Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Failure

    When I was a kid, I used to get my ass whooped from sun down to sun up. My family didn't have much noney, and we was all living in a 2 bedroom house and and my parents had 6 kids including myself. My dad barely kept a job because all he did was drink a lot and always end up losing a job because he would go to work drunk. My mom had a job working cleaning at other people's houses because due to her not finishing high school and didn't get a diploma, she couldn't get hired anywhere else. Now I'm all grown up and away from the people I called mom and dad, I'm pretty much had followed into their foot steps of not being shit and a loser. I have three kids that gets on my last nerves and can barely, just like my parents can support my own now. Its hard getting a job, a man that will stay around, and not fuck me more than he can look at me. Living in a small apartment with expensive rent, sometimes never have any power on, no money, and this is a gun to my temple. I'm about to call child welfare on myself because I can't support these little assholes, maybe if I shouldn't of had kids I would been in this hell mess and I would have a boyfriend that will actually stay around. No one here cant judge me, because reading some of the stories here you are not the one to judge, we all have shitty lives.


    Comments: 26   Votes:


     

    Will I ever get on my feet again?

    Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Attitude

    Hello friends,
    I am 21 years old, jobless, no school and living with my poor family.

    During high school freshman year I had felt like my life is going on track. I made many friends, did well in school and had a job. The next grade I started hanging out with new friends which are obsessed with being bad and I converted to that lifestyle. Kept skipping school and my grades fell and ended up not graduating high school which I always dreamed of doing. I went to upgrade my courses but I for some reason ditched it which sank my dad's $900 for those. I've been laid off from my most recent job and now I've been jobless for 2 years. I got depressed, deleted my facebook cause I had a hard break up with my girlfriend and lost myself a lot of friends. All I do with my for the last couple of years were bagging money off my parents and just to party and get drunk with the only few friends I still have.

    I'm in a rut for 3 years now because of the choices I made in the past. Everyday I see myself as a loser who fucked up and now can't do anything good. I stay home most of the time, always in my room on the computer and always felt that my parents are disappointed of me. Also I never exercise so I'm out of shape.

    I finally made a choice to go back to upgrading my high school courses(even though its really embarrassing I'm doing that at my age) and go to college. Also get my lazy ass off to find a job.
    I really hope I can get my life on track again, I've thought of it every single day. To regain my confidence, friends and overall image of myself.

    Thank you for reading I'm sorry it's so long!


    Comments: 200   Votes:


     

    breaking point

    Posted by anonymous at April 25, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Attitude

    going on 8 yrs sense i lost my mother to cancer yet the pain is still the same if not more due to the fact i have grown and realised how much of an impact it really had on my life loosing her.you know some people can take a big lost and do better put the team on they back and reach things never thought possible, sorry to say im not one of those people. my mother was the heart and soul of our family and MY rock and that showed when she passed. left me wit a step father (he's been there sense i was about 5 but theres always been that tension, felt it was because as i got older i started to look more n more like my real father, but thats another story) and 2 younger siblings who i feel for cause i suck at being the oldest. it made me grow up but at the same time i wasnt mentally prepared.

    its funny when things 1st go down all you hear is "i know how you feel", "you need anything im here" i hated hearing these words, to be honest i still do. death teaches you who really cares...loosing her made me hate the world and everyone it because while im home torn down thinking about every moment i can remember wondering how the hell am i suppose to get passed this the rest of the world is still going on.

    the lost affected how i interact with people, no ones been allowed to get close to me. theres only been 2 females that i fell for that has been able to see and come to understand that side of me but of course in the end both ended up getting hurt because there came...

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    Comments: 6   Votes:


     

    Why is life so boring and shit?

    Posted by anonymous at April 25, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Meaninglessness

    I'm sat here on my bed, tears in my eyes reading everyones stories. Why is mental health of a family member always an atribute in fuck ups? Well i'm 20 years old, my life is shit. My mum has never understood me, she has always been rude to me and treated me like crap, my dad left when I was 8, he used to hit my mum and I have not seen him since. My sister, well shes just the middle child, annoying cow she is at 18 years old, doesnt work, just does college. So the youngest, my brother, my dearest beloved, urgh, he is autistic, not diagnosed, mum has just always thought he is, and I think he is too. I have the smallest room in the house, everyday when I come in from work my mum has a go at me about walking through the door and getting a drink of tea or eating food, when she is addicted to chocolate coffee cigarettes and weed. She complains that I dont pay enough money in the house yet she opened an account online in my name and charged £400 in debt and didnt tell me about for a year!!!! And now I'm paying it off!! My brother locks himself in the living room and has not even spoken to me since Nov last year, because I shout too much around him and annoyed him that much he wont speak to me, I shout because my mum doesnt discipline. I cannot stress enough how annoying she is with him, he is 12 years old, doesnt life a finger, gets his dinner brought to him, drinks etc, he attacks, he throws you out of the room when he wants, he does whatever he likes, he has a life of luxury whilst everyone else in the house suffers because of it. She never tells him off ever, even when he attacks me, kicks me, growls at me, punches me, throws things at me, its just calm down. When will she ever understand children need more than calm down, they need telling off when they do wrong, rewarding when they do well, emotion, role models etc. I am so sick of my life! I wish I could just run away, anywhere. Why do I have to face this life, what the fuck did I do to deserve this?


    Comments: 28   Votes:


     

    just a fucked up fuck up

    Posted by anonymous at April 25, 2012
    Tags:   2012 April

    Three months ago I got arrested because of an ex boyfriend. now i have charges pending me for a class b misdemeanor and a felony. class b okay that's not so bad right? felony...alright that's a bit shittier....but its my fault right...i made the decision to give in to peer pressure...right? okay so thats how life is, whatever fuck it...i'm stronger than that shit. unfortunatly I'm living at home in attempts to please my parents and help ease their move in to their new home. Not so bad right? I get to be with my family, im fed, im not homeless. okay thats cool. But when you take a very depressed female and you take away every connection with the outside world...her only pick me up in coping with this shitty situation she's gotten herself in to...well she tends to start falling apart at the seems. on top of all of this, my mother constantly reminding me i'm probably going to jail for two years...that or rehab which okay whatever its the consequence to my shitty drunken do whatever the fuck you want decision. I was raped not long ago, this is plaguing me....remembering my "friend" forcing me, ripping out of duct tape hand restraints multiple times, having a glass tube shoved up my ass, having a lighter burned in to my tummy and a knife constantly slide across my abdomen. that is a hard truth to swallow. I'm no drug addict btw, i enjoy them, but i could give them up in a heart beat...like i have. unfortunately its the people i "run with" that bring me around them. no i've go...

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    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    Anxiety and Job

    Posted by Useless Man at April 25, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 April   Job

    Hey friends.
    I have always been a good student but a patient of anxiety and social phobia since childhood.

    When I was small I didn't think about it because I didn't know what anxiety is.

    In all my engineering time, I kept of studying...day and night.
    In my 3 year, I got anxiety period, I felt horrified even to go to groceries store.

    That continued till the end of college.
    How I managed to pass the exams, I cant explain anyone.

    After I completed my engineering, my anxiety got a bit low. I kept on studying.
    Coz of fear and anxiety, I took a local job instead of good ones coz of anxiety.

    I kept on studying.

    After 2 years I decided to go to big city for a job, but when I left my current job, I got sad and anxious again and had to take medication !

    After getting numb by these medicines, I went to a big city with my mom !
    Lol, can u imagine ! I went with my 60+ years old mom while I was a 25 years old young man!

    anyways my anxiety got worse and finally after 5 months I gave up the job. In all those 5 months I kept on studying and finally thought that my hard work is paying me.
    But unfortunately after 5 months I had to come back to my home.

    Now for the last 1 year, I am jobless but still I am studying ! lol

    Dont know if I will just keep on studying only in my life and will ever earn a penny out of it.
    When my friends are earning 10's of thousand rupees, I am just sitting at my home and eating the food earned by hard work of my bro.

    I am dying everyday. Dont know what to do now.
    God is unfair with me.



    Comments: 32   Votes:


     

    betrayed

    Posted by anonymous at April 25, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Family   Health

    I was betrayed before I was born. but who cares. God shunned me and destined me to be alone for life, and put me in this body that isn't even me. Then I was born and was just given away. Unwanted. Adopted. They diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder, but I am pretty sure I have good reason to believe I am a burden to my family. And maybe i should have expected that after all of this, my mom would eventually snap, and that our family would fall apart. But the sad thing is i never expected it to happen in my recovery. To make things worse I was born with bad eyes. All my childhood was surgeries and getting scalpels shoved into the back of my eye sockets. My mom couldn't have children. But apparently when she adopted me, her miracle happened and she had my sister. I grew up with everyone ignoring me, because i was the misfit child with fucked up eyes. Everyone always talked about how great my sister was. I grew up knowing I didn't belong. Terrified my family would someday betray me. I grew up thinking I was physically and mentally retarded. Because I was too young to understand what was wrong with me to always be in hospitals. I died many times, but they kept bringing me back. I guess god wants me to suffer. Then when I was 13 I was diagnosed with skin cancer and they cut my nose off. That seriously didn't make things better because they ruined my face. From there I developed anorexia nervosa. Then my parent's betrayed me yet again and sent me to live all my teen...

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    Comments: 20   Votes:


     

    Seriously I'm so done

    Posted by Britta at April 25, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Attitude

    I am currently in a state of loathing for my life. Everyone says "karma" and stupid bull*** like that but honestly, the good always come in last.
    I have been nothing but nice to people: I drop anything I'm doing the instant a friend says they need me, I work 3 jobs, I overload on credits in college to keep up, when I date guys I always let them have fun with their boys and still shower them with gifts and where am I at?
    I'm single, constantly sick (and severely, like already had surgery once in 2012 and looking at a second), I just got cussed out by a girl who used to call me her best friend (her reason? I sent her a joke and because it wasn't "hi" and instead a "joke" I was rude and inconsiderate and didn't pay attention to her life), and I just can't seem to keep up with anything.
    I've gained 20 pounds this year because I'm so down, I don't even look at myself naked because I'm so disgusted by how I look.
    My ex has a new BEAUTIFUL girlfriend who's perfect in every way, though he broke up with me because he "shouldn't have a girlfriend right now."
    I'm just so worthless and so sick of everyone pointing it out.
    My roommate tells me how I'm getting fat everyday, people at work make fun of me for anything that happens, I can't even escape to working out or anything because I'm still recovering from surgery.
    I'm just so ready to jump off a parking structure, I swear to God.
    People say "It gets better" but honestly, it doesn't.
    It never gets better.
    I'm in my 20s and this is my life.
    The other night I had a mental breakdown and needed a shoulder to cry on and the only real offer I got was from a guy who just wants to sleep with me, so I spent my night sobbing by myself in my car in a parking lot.
    I just hate my life. I hate it so much.
    I just want to die. Seriously.


    Comments: 16   Votes:


     

    oops

    Posted by amy at April 25, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Relationship

    i had a kid, became a single mom which was find but then i thought i met the love of my life who loves me and my son, got pregnant again and now we have a beautiful baby girl, but he's not happy, he yells all the time and never trys to improve our life, everything is my fault and im sad all the time, he is nice to the kids. I work sixty hours a week to cover our bills, i never see the kids and he complains because he works 4 hours a night on third shift...im sad, but i dont want to be the single mom of two kids from different dads, so i stick it out every day...i even think i may have met someone who will atleast compliment me once in awhile but i can never act on it...i have ruined my future and all i can hope to do is direct my children in the right direction


    Comments: 8   Votes:


     

    Why do I still feel this way

    Posted by anonymous at April 25, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Family   Relationship

    Im sitting on my sofa in the UK with tears in my eyes over the aching emptiness in my chest.
    I have nothing new to add to the issues that most people are facing in their lives and I admit I am much better off than many others.
    Im not looking for pity, Im hoping that someone out there will identify with me and maybe give me some advice on how to handle the overpowering emotional pain Im feeling on a daily basis.
    Long story short.
    Ive had emotional problems since I was a little girl. Four sisters a lovely mom and an alcholic father who drank us into poverty.
    Saw a lot of physical fighting between my parents from the age of 4 to 16. Lived in fear of my dad killing my mother and in those days, late 60s, early 70s there was not really any kind of awareness or help for kids like me and my sisters.
    Grew up, I was in the top stream at school but under achieved because it was impossible to revise properly in my house because of my dads the drinking.Again in those days you didnt talk about this kind of stuff.
    Started self harming at 15 but eventually put it behind me. Married a lovely man I was with for almost 20 years but the marriage ended after he had an affair. His mother died from Motor Neurone disease and his dad was fighting cancer when he started the affair so I guess he was cracking up a bit too.
    Had a new relationship for five years with a man who started off great then started hitting & shouting at me. Discovered he was mentally ill but i...

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    Comments: 13   Votes:


     

    Y do I have the shitty life?

    Posted by shittylife at April 25, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Family

    First, my mom died. Then my dad committed suicide, and everyone says it's becuz of me. We moved into my grandmas house, who now has cancer and are broke. My sis and I work at a grocery store and make 9 dollars an hour. We r completely broke becuz my parents didn't have any money for us to inherit. Al my other family members r dead except for my grandma who's about to died, and my sis, who spends all r money on drugs. She is a crackhead, probably about to commit suicide. All my friends, which I barely have any, r little bitches and unreliable. They look down on me. So if think ur life sucks, then shut the fuck up.u have no idea.


    Comments: 9   Votes:


     

    Fucking fence

    Posted by Lewis at April 24, 2012
    Tags: 2012 April   Job

    I have a job cause of my families business. Doesn't feel like ive earned it. Got bullied alot at school, social anxiety was born. When i left school, started seeing therapist which helped, also started sales. Overcome alot of my anxiety, then depression set in. Wrote a sucide note, close to jumping of erskine bridge, until phoning samartins. Suicide is still an option which i fully consider sometimes. Always wanted to join army, told my parents, they said they would never talk to me and i would regret it. I have no motivation for my job atm, army seems a very good option even though its seems a challenging career. Need some support but don't want to make my parents sad, what if its the worst decision i will ever make? Or i can stick at the job ive got atm, and do something i dont enjoy, when i think of that want to end it all. Still get anxious around people, hard to breathe somtimes. life is a fucking rollercoaster, down more often than not. :(


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