LIFE SUCKS : 2010 August

A goal

I am not able to kill myself; I look at a cliff and get dizzy from the thought of jumping off it. I cannot live either; unrelenting anxiety about all things. Hopefully I will become desperate enough to either die or start living.

Waiting for the end

Si most of my life I have spent alone. There are people around but Im still alone. When I was one my mother abandoned me at the babysitters. My father found me a week later but then he abandoned me at Grandmas house. At 9 my mothe came back and stole me from grandma. She didnt really even want mem she only wanted the extra welfare money to support her drug habit. As I got older her druggie friends were always around (prostitutes and crack heads, pimps and drug dealers) and the men were pigs. I caught them cooking crack in the kitchen and I got hit. There cooking dope and I get smack for walkin in my kitchen. Her peice of shit friend tried to turn me out but I ran, never saw her again. She died 4 years later and I never got to say goodbye. My baby was only 3 months old and she was the only good thing I ever did.

Im married now, happily for 13 years, or so I thought. He doesnt want me anymore. Another one tossing me aside as if I were just trash. He will leave me, they always do because I am the one that is noy so good at much, but at least I try. I count the days til my baby gorl can take care of herself so I can end this miserable so called life. I am tired of being scared all the time, I am tired of worrying that they will leave, I am tired....

I hate my life as a single person. 55 years old female. one month ago i had a wonderful physical encounter, but no more. that is it. i waited 55 years, and i hardly ever had a good physical experience. and now i got it but it is already over. i am long term unemployed with a useless higher ed degree and have nothing to look forward to. i hate life and want it to be over soon.

My Story

Twenty years ago I lost the love of my life...my soulmate. We reconnected recently, thanks to Facebook. We found our love had never died...and we began an affair.

It ended recently, because we both believe...KNOW...an affair is wrong. But we are still in love. We always will be.

We are stuck in marriages...in lives...we don't want...because we were too stupid 20 years ago to know how to fix our problems.

We should NOT have to pay for the decisions of stupid kids! Why??? why do time machines not exist??

I would give everything to be able to go back and fix it. But I can't. My only hope now is the hope that I can save my 3 children from making the same mistakes.

wheres death when you need him?

Im 15 and i believe a have some of the worst luck ever. Due to an acident in 6 grade my granma has more teeth than me, i have to wear these yellow denture things intill im like 18, i also beleve i have herpes, i have a perminant stye in my eye and another one coming, and im alwas sick an depressed. because of the herpes i cant due many of the things i looked foward to in life, i cant find a beautifull wife(no woman wants a man with an uncureable STD), have kids, or even go clubin an party. I use to wake up in the mornigs happy to see another school day filled with freinds and lovely females, but now i wish i never woke up. I had 3 loves in life, football, music, an girls. Well i fucked up the football thing myself with my horrindus grades, an well for music i doubt any record company wants to sign a young man with herpes, and girls no girl wants a 15 year old with herpes. I dont even know how i got it i havent been extremyly sexualy active i wack off more than i actualy have intercourse ive only had sex with 3 girls in my whole life one unpretectid but she was a virgin i was her first everything. I first thought i was being punished for that but i noticed every guy i know has had unpretectid sex atleast once an is std free my cuzin has fucked atleast 6 girls unprotectid and hes been checked and is healthyer than a fuckin vegatarian. I have prayed and asked god why plenty of times and im starting to believe ive been punished for watching porn and masturebating to much i hear voices in my head telling me to stop and i will be forgiven and cured im starting to think im skitzo franic, ive attemted suicide many time but nothing works i think im just goin to wait intill ican get ahand of a gun and end it.

I AM LOST

Life sucks..I have not seen my best friend for already a year or even more...It seems that everyone leaves me one day or another, and it seems there is no a single way to bring her back, I know that i am the one to blame i hurt her, her feeling destroyed everything we had. NOW I AM AGAIN ALONEEEEEEEEEEEE
i HATE THIS LIFE AND I WANT TO DIEEEEEEEEEE......

I Feel Alone

I'm 14 years old and I have never had a real friend. I don't have anyone to talk to because my family is too akward to talk to. I want to make friends. Friends that I really like. I don't like anyone in my school, so even if I do make friends, I won't like them. This lifestyle isn't me. I don't get bullied in school, just ignored. None of my family have friends. I am terrified of going to school in 2 days. I'll be alone. I can't ignore it. How do I be happy in a life that I don't like and can't change?

Purpose? Or Waste Of Time?

So, Life Is Beautiful For A Lot Of People!, Ugly For Anothers!
To Me Is A Waste Of Time!

Why!?
First You Born, Later You Know What Is Good And What Is Bad... Later You Become A Person Full Of Sin.
Your Family, Friends Never Understand You... They Think You Are Crazy Or Another Jerk In This World.
You Want To Make Friends, And Seems Like You Can't Find Them, You Still Searching For Them And Nothing Happens!
Boyfriend/Girlfriend Is More Hard Right Now!
A World Full Of Homosexuals, Lesbians Or Bisexuals.. You Can't Be This, Because Is A Sin
More Reasons To Live Like A Jerk!

And God Is In The Other Side, You Have To Do Everything Right!
If You Do Somethng Bad, You Will Pay For That
You Live Your Life In A Hospital, Or In Sadness

You Can't Create Your Dreams, Because The World Don't Leave You Think
You Live With Fear About Everything
Seems Like You Pay For Your Good Actions
I Am In School, School Is Everything For This World
If You Don't Study, Or You Don't Go To The School... You Are A Loser!
The Destiny Is Weird, You Don't Know Nothing About Who You Are!

The War Between The Good Things Vs Bad Things Are Creating A Confusing World

So, Right Now The Life For Me Doesn't Have Purpose, Maybe In The Future
I Can't Decide Who Are My Eternal Friends
I Can't Decide Who Will Be My Partner For A Relationship
Because God Choose Who Will Be That Persons, Not You

I Know, It Sounds Weird, But I Believe In God, But I Don't Understand Him

So What Is The Purpose Of Life?
Live Bad, And Later Talk About Testimonies Of Your Life To Others To Make Them React And Let Them Know That We Can Make Good Actions?

LIFE SUCKS!

Life is hard, but I know God is there

I could spend 100,000 words telling all of you about how horrible my life as a child was. I could depress you further with the things that have happened since I moved out of my house. I'll share just a few experiences so you can know that I've been there, and I know that God does care. I was beaten and sexually assualted as a child. Back then, I felt helpless and always ashamed. After all, guys don't get raped--right? Wrong! I always felt that it was my fault. Again, when it started, I was 10 and the molester was 17. It's not like I was physically or emotionally able to resist. When I did try to tell my parents, they beat the heck out of me for saying such terrible things about my oldest brother. Beatings were a common occurance from my sister and me. Then, my other brother knocked up my sister and ruined her life. At 10, I started stocking a grocery store after school so that I did not get home before my mother passed out from her booze. Yes, I worked from about 5 pm until 9 pm. That was before the child labor laws got strictly enforced. At 14, one day when my mom was beating me, I took the mop handle away from her and told her, "Never again." She left the room only to return with a loaded gun, stuck it in my face, cocked the hammer and pulled the trigger. The gun misfired. I know that an angel was present in the room--God intervenied! Both of my brothers were murders, drug trafficers, and rapists. Luckily for society, they will never see freedom for...

My life

Ok, I've read a a lot of things written on this page, and my story is probably not as bad as som i've read.
Well, I've been bullied since i was 6 years old and till now(i'm 14)
That has given me social difficulties, Post traumatic stress( I'm from Norway, excuse my bad English)and hallucinating past memories and people I have never seen before and I really scares me, even though I have had it for several year it is still there and seems like it always will be.
I've tried to kill myself 5 times, first when i was 7 and then 8. I also tried overdose but the took my pills away and then I tried drowning myself 2 times in one week.
I have trouble sleeping, I hardly sleep at all, because of all the nightmares
and The hallucinating is always there it never ever stops and i have voices in my head telling me I'm not good and that what ever i do I'll fail, and I lost all my faith.
I don't trust teachers or students at my new school (I've moved several times and every school sucked, just passing them makes me shiver and I get trouble breathing
I don't know what to do anymore, it seems hopeless.
there is nothing for my to live for, nothing.
nothing keeps me back, not family (even though they done nothing wrong towards me), not friend(I don't have any).
Nothing, I am Nothing

Just getting old

So I am aware that my life is not as bad as others Lives I know that . I know so many more people have it worse and they are going through worse situations. I just feel like my life sucks, and I am pretty sure that I can change my life but feel like I can't

I graduated this past june, I wanted to start College as soon as possible but I don't have a way to get there... yes I could take the bus but I don't want to start my school year having to worry about bus schedules getting there late the stress of not having my own transportation.

My brother and sister in law got me a car but its standard (which i do not know how to drive and it only me and my dad at home he doesnt teach me he always says its to hard later im tired.) My dads car gave out a couple months ago which i barely began to learn to drive after bitching at him countless hours to finally to teach me to drive he did. So now he uses my car which is the standard one he never takes me out in. It is my car and when I tell him i can take it out whenever cause it is my CAR he replies thats the only car we have dont mess it up,blah blah blah and gets all upset.

So I have no car and for months he has been saying he is going to fix his car so i can drive that but he has yet to do that. he says he is more than willing to take the bus and let me take the standard car but he has yet to teach me or leave me the car. He even encouraged me to put school off a couple months which I know I feel is a bi...

Screwed by those who should have helped.

I’m middle aged. I have a master’s degree. I’ve never been married. Never fathered children. Haven’t even dated in years. I’ve been suffering depression for my whole adult life. Been in and out of therapy and on and off of antidepressants.

I do have some friends. I had a job in one end of the state and all my friends lived in the other end of the state. So, I left that job when I got a job offer in the end of the state that my friends live in. I had hoped that I would be happier by being in closer proximity to my friends. The job I left was good. I was treated well by my coworkers and highly regarded by my supervisors. The job I got sucked. I was crapped on and pushed around by those I needed cooperation from, to make a long story short. Mainly because I was willing to see clients on Fridays and my processing assistant didn’t want to because she wanted to be able to take her friday afternoon naps in her office as she had for the ten years previous to my arrival there. So, she made life suck for me. She had been there for ten years and knew how to manipulate the work flow to create stress on me.

Eventually, I cracked from the stress and got fired and now I am unemployed. My supervisor basically didn’t give a shit about what I was up against. After all, I was the new guy. Her solution was to ask me to resign. I refused; so, she fired me. Because I got fired, my chances of reemployment in my field are slim to none.

I worked hard for years to get to this point in my life. I haven’t even been working in this field long enough to have a midlife crisis. I really just got started because it took so long to get here only to be fuked over by some christian bitch with a highschool diploma. I’m done with life. Can I die now? Jesus, please save me from your followers as they really make life suck.

Money, money, money in a rich mans world!

Ok, i'm only 13 and i already crave money. I watch programmes like 'katie next chapter' and other things that show you how the celebrities live. they have wonerul lives they dont have any problems becuase there money can solve them. Thye have all they need to survive and all they want, they have beauiful houses and live in beautiful places. I would love to be one of them.
But i was born intomy suckishly shit life with my dad who use to be a model but stopped so he didnt work for 13 years, we realied on our mums money to get through which is not a big sum. My dad had to borrow from his family and my mum hers.
But my dad was selfish a few times he would go out on ebay and buy an antique for a ridiculous sum of money, and they put it on my mums credit card, so we were bankrupt. Therefore my dad had to borrow it of his parents who are old age pensioners for christ sake.
Luckily my dad got a job, he just sits at home on the computer, and my mum works. we are not doing bad in the money place but when i grow up the thign i want is to be a celebrity working non stop ringing loads of money into my life, soi can live the life i always dreamed.
But i tell my mum of this dream she just goes 'money is not as in importnad as love'i know thats true but money canbuy things like houses and cars and food to live with. Love can only give a person love from another, its generally rubbish compared to money.

i hate my mum and living at home!!!

I am in my early twenties, studying and living at home with my family at home. GOD i hate living here. We have such a beautiful house but it only feels like a home when i am all alone by myself....or with my dad. i love my dad to bits, he's the only person which lights up the house but he's only here over weekends. I can't believe I've just gone into my twenties and basically i am the one doing most of the housework. My mum is a lazy piece of shit who love moaning all the time about literally anything and everything. She spends hours on the computer playing some shitty lil game (i'm talking at least 2-3 hrs per day), watching shitty soaps and doing fuckall. so i thought i'll give everyone tasks to do to make it easier. all my mum has to do is cook and clean the kitchen but guess wht she's so tired after work tht she doesnt bother, on top of tht gets moany and angry, does her usual gaming and telly routine and continues on with her dirty and absolutely disgusting habits like not washing her hands after using the toilet!!!! :-( i hate her so much, she doesn't listen to a word i say,makes everyone's lives miserable and has been doing so ever since i can remember.... she's the reason my sister is not as nice as she could be and my dad not as happy as he could be. i know nothing is going to change in this house and i absolutely hate it. i get so annoyed whenever i see people who have a close family and normal mums...

I don't know what I'am waiting for to jump of the roof

I am 16 years old and my life sucks! My father is an alcoholic and he cheats on my mother every time and she doesn't want to talk to me cause i told her the truth she says that I am liying to her . I don't feel loved or appreciated no matter what! I have never been happy in my life i have no true friends they are all hypocrits and the few boyfriends i had were only basterd who wanted me for sex!
i have a big sis who doesn't care about she barely speaks to me just for passing her salt!! I don't want to feel alone anymore last year i gathered enough money to see a spycologist but it didn't help I really feel bad and useless all the time I wanna do something great with my life I wanna do something useful but I am only a screwed teenager in her hormonal period!! what is life so whorthy to live for?? you tell me!!

confused...!!!???

this may sound crazy to every person who decides to read it but the reason i feel like my life sucks the big one is because of hope. my family is about to lose the house i have a two year old nephew my younger brother my older sister and my parents all living here and now yet again my 28 year old brother is living here as well. most of my life i have been viewed as the fuck up of the family from being suspended from school a ridiculous amount of times to supplying my older sister with the means to burn down our previous house I have always ,ALWAYS been the fuck up. but recently i have become the last hope not only for my family but for all of my friends to fix this world and yes i mean this world. my father has been retired since just before or after obama was elected into office and has since earned 45 dollars for fixing a friends brakes. he is currently driving my mother deeper and deeper into depression and i feel as though there really is nothing i can do. yet a couple weeks ago i spoke to my mother and a close friend who both firmly objected when i reffered to myself as a fuck up informing me that they believe that i am not only the last hope for my friends and family but possibly this country and this world and i can not believe that i cannot handle that kind of pressure I'm just a 17 year old kid and now i feel as though if i fail it will not only be a very likely end for me but for my family and friends as well. they have put all of their hope in me and I'M seve...

lost

let me start by saying the only reason i am writing this is so that maybe some person will read it and feel similar so keep your nasty hatefull comments to yourself.I am only 17 and i know it's stupid and immature to hate life this young but lately I just wonder is anything I do going to matter or am i just another insignifigant spec like most people? no offense meant I just look around and all I seem to see is people repeating the same bullshit everyday and i wonder is that all there is?working for some corporation that doesnt give a shit about you. Then forking that hard earned money to either another corporation or person for food shelter etc. then eventually like everyone else dying in one of one hundred trillion ways. its just to damn sad and meager why, why do we spend our lives wasting our time never really accomplishing anything. and even if we do accomplish something great we spend our whole lives trying to do that one great thing only to wake up one day and realize your 60 years old and that great thing you spent your whole life on will eventually wither from exsistence or be replaced by soomething new. to me this life is seeming quite meaningless and inconsiquential. of late I find myself daydreaming for most of the day just to try to escape the harshness of my own sad pathetic reality. I would much rather be doing something or anything else just so long as it brings real lasting meaning to my short abysmal life. And I know I sound like a real ass but seriously if your reading this please any POSITIVE advice including a hard reality bitchslap would help if anyone else feels the same please I need advice and quick

life sucks

Life sucks...I have lost the only person I really love and i really had - my Best Friend- because of my stupid mistake. Life really sucks: we are born, for all our life we are looking for the person who will understand us, who will be there for us, who will protect us...when we find them we say "oh, thanks heaven for giving me this Gift called BEST FRIEND". But heavens laugh at us, setting up "moral traps" for us....Life sucks because one always loses the best, the most sacred thing, he loses hope in life.
OMG. i do not know what to do now.....I can't eat, I can't sleep, i take pills to turn off my brains, to freeze my heart in order not to feel the pain that eats me inside...

My life sucks big time

I thought that going back to school would make me more desirable in the job market. It's been three years since graduating and I cannot find a job. I'm getting sued over unpaid bills, I have tremendous CC debt, a mortage, student loans, medical bills...etc. My kids are scared that we'll loose the house and cars and not have food. I dont sleep, I dont eat, I worry non stop. I dont see any joy in anything anymore. the pressure is unbearable at times. My life totally sucks!

Good until 23

I was coasting along until I got fucked on an exam at med-school and pulled out of the course. Worst decision ever because at least when you are doing a career you have a pretty elaborate illusion to take your mind off the nothingness that otherwise is omnipresent. Now im planning to go back but have developed some serious depression problems in the interim and now worry about my mental faculties.