LIFE SUCKS : 2011 February

Shity life

I'm turning 42 Monday and gotta say life has been shity . 3 failed marriages , have lost every damn thing . Lost my Job ( was a good paying job) was kicked out of my home . I now stay in a friends basement . Child support has nearly destroyed me , they are taking nearly 40 percent of my check for one child , and that's making minium wage !! With th job I have now I gotta wait a whole freaking year before I can get insurance , need to see a dentist bad . Have no friends and forget about having a g/f , can't afford that either . Just so damn disgusted with my so called life , that I really don't see a way out . Seems like anything I put my hands to goes to shit or backfires .not even sure why I'm even writing this ... I guess I'm just venting , I really don't expect things to get better .

it sucks because i dont seem to have any friends, i am weird by nature thoughtful deep interested in stuff no one else is and people just come out and say ohh u r so weird. and that is not even the worst part. the worst part is when ur best friends or the people you care for most in the world change their friendship with you, find new friends and because their new friends arent so weird, they forget all about you. like today! i was at my best friends sisters wedding but since weddings are just not something i am passionate about, my friend seemed to forget all about me, she kept talking to our other friend like i dint even exist. it hurt.
and the part that the guy you love will never feel that way about you because face it your are too weird.
and the part that the only person who i can talk comfortably too without being scared of being judged is me myself. so it is my room ,the mirror and me and frankly this is scary because i dont want to end up like that.
i hate it when i help people solve their problems, and in return all i get is 'but you are too weird'
and i hate it because if only weird could be equivalent to being really really smart and successful but it is not. it is okayish my level of however i m going.

and it hurts because all those times i have to pretend i like normalish things, and talk about normal stuff to people just so i can blend in with them and wat the hell no one else has to make that effort. no one else gets laughed at or ignored. no one else has to keep a pretentious smile on their faces all the time just so that it will look like they are interested in whatever is going on.

my worst fear is i wont find a guy capable of accepting and understanding my weirdness, and that i ll end up marrying fakeness. honestly i dont want to be fake in my own home.

i don't get it :S

ok well i dunno how to start this so yeah.
i grew up physically and mentally and sexually abused by my dad untill i was 13 when my mum finally kicked him out of our house.
i was bullied since then.
i am now 15 turning 16 this year, we live in poverty, we trick the electritian guy into not cutting our power off even tho we never pay the bills cos we can't afford them.
we are struggling to pay rent and i think we might be on the streets soon.
i live at home with my 13 year old sister and my mum.
she neglects me and my sister and litterly never talks to us.
i quit school at 14.
i have asthma which is quite bad cos my mum smokes cigerettes in the house, which has made me go to hospital alot cos i have asthma attacks.
i have anger problems, deppression, and severe anxiety. and i think i might have adhd.
my mum smokes marijuana in the house as well.
she neglects me and my sister and i've contemplated suicide too many times to count. i've also tried killing myself by smashing my head against the wall..it didn't work.
i did it infront of my mum and she didn't even care.
i still don't go to school even tho its illegal not to.
mum never buys us food, we've been living off food stamps our hole lifes, we get new clothes twice a year at the most.
when we do, its from the op shops.
our house is unclean and unhealthy and we get sick alot, my mum doesn't do anything about it.
what really hurts me is that she DOES work, but she spends all her money on drugs.
all i normally eat is bread.
i think she is selfish and i dont know how much longer i can live like this, and why God hasn't helped my life get better yet.
theres alot more about my life i could right about but its too deppressing.
thanks for reading. x

LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!!

I am sitting here on a Friday night alone again, so many lonely days and nights. I have bi polar disorder which makes everything even worse. I have made huge mistakes in my life starting with the men I have chosen in my life. When I was younger I had alot of friends but they slowly faded out of my life. I have no one and the only thing I am good at is being a mom. If it were not for my children I would probably end it all. I am so tired of feeling worthless, the only thing I can do is cry. Noone ever warned me that being an adult completely sucks or that you become a single mom when the father decides he has had enough. Single parents are the ones who sacrafice everything including their own life for the sake of their children. I am 33 years old and I feel like my life has slipped away from my control. Why is life so miserable? I am in school for my bachelor degree in psychology but then what is the point, not like I will be able to find work even with that. I can not deal with this anymore. I dream of something more I pray for something more. With each passing day I lose more hope that things will ever get better. I cant even find a relationship but seriously who would want to get involved with a single mom too much hassle to deal with. All I seem to attract or sociopaths. My youngest son will be two soon and I was even assaulted by his father when I was pregnant with him. Lord have mercy on my soul because I am not strong enough to go on like this anymore.

I fucked up

Lost everything that meant anything, only now do I start appreciating what I lost. No one to blame but myself, yet life really sucks now.

Lonely and depressed.

Wish I had a reset button.

What happened?

I'm 24, I live at home. I can't find a decent job. I don't have a car anymore. I'm a college dropout. I haven't had sex since august 2009. I used to have a steady girl and job. Im losing any amount of confidence I once had. Girls can see that and it keeps them from wanting to flirt with me. I'm a pretty attractive guy with a not so attractive position. I feel like I'm on the road to nowhere. My friends criticize me. They all get girls and have jobs and are getting promising degrees. I know I only have myself to blame. I just wish a girl could give me the time of day so just maybe I can gain some confidence and try to dig myself out of this emotional black hole

loneliness

Adult 43 year old only child. No one's ever loved me. I want to die

My girlfriend never talks to me, and when I start talking to her, she says short answers like uh huh, sure, yeah. She never listens to me, I don't want to be with her anymore, yet whenever i wanna break up with her, she tells me that she will cut herself if I do. like i don't want her to do that, but her attitude and no love is killing me

whats the point

Yeah I know many of you will probably read this and think he's only 17 and has a long time to find out what real pain is, but the fact is I need to get this out, somewhere, to someone. I fell in love with a girl this summer, and again many of you think "He's to young to love," heres the fact, Every time I look into her eyes I fall a little harder for her, every time I hear her name my heart drops, and I cant imagine my life without her, but I have to.. Me and her went out for a month, technically, she told me she didn't want anyone to actually know about us because her mom would kill her if she had a boyfriend before she's 16 (I'm only a year and 2 months older, nothing creepy). I fell for this girl hard, and one day she just tells me it wont work between us, and many lies follow... many many lies on why... Less then a day after breaking up with me, she ran into the arms of another guy, one of my good friends (not literally running into his arms, but yeah). A week later now they announced they're going out, what is this!? She said she couldn't announce it with me, then why him? I've found out this, she never liked me, ever, she just settled with me because she couldn't have him... and once she found out she could, she left me... I just don't see the point in trying anymore...

first im just going to say that my life is hell and that the world is fucking with my life.im inly 13 almost 14 in a great school where almost everyone is a jack off a slut or a whore. my grades are shit I have one friend who just uses me as an outlet for their own problems i never get to do anything i've never had a girlfriend i spend all of my free tine in my room thinking about death and suicide because iv bean overly depressed since i was 9 and i've turned completely emo. i've tried to commit suicide 2 times and im two dumb even to kill myself and i hope that one day someone just comes to my school and shoots me there times in the head with a desert eagle. i have one sister (older) who finds it funny to torment me hurt me and rob me my parents dont give a damn about me I dont get anything whale my sister gets everything and im really trying to find a reason to live

One Big Depression

Ever since I was young, I had always had this common perception that life was wonderful and caring, until I was 9 years old. My parents got divorced because my dad was having an affair with my mom's best friend. I got thrown into the middle of the shit. Had to put up with all their arguing and fighting. I seriously was about to bash both their heads together and tell them to shut the fuck up. Fast forward ten years later. Now I'm in college and life sucks. Simply put. I study all the time, get bad grades despite all that studying, and I feel like the whole world is conspiring against me. Let me tell you now: LIFE IS ONE BIG FUCKING DEPRESSION. Everything on this Earth of ours wants to fuck you and leave for dead. They don't care about your needs or feelings. They don't care about how it will affect your relationships with other people. They just want you to be miserable. We all this common perception that if we work hard, we'll be rewarded one day with a good job, nice home, an attractive spouse. It's one big lie. The only people who get to be happy are the ones who are CHOSEN to be happy. The ones where everything works out for them. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them. Even though I ask for so little in this world, I still get fucked in every direction. If had the power, I would leave this fucking planet and create a world free of all the assholes, motherfuckers, bitches, pussies, problems, and chaos. A place where I have control because frankly I don't like I have any, at least not in this world. To everyone else whose life sucks, our lives suck because they were chosen to suck, not because we deliberately made choices that made our lives suck.

What shall i do?

I am a 27 year old girl from an asian background. I hate my job, could not study and fulfill my dream because of responsibilties. I loved a guy when i was about 17, was with him for 4 years, we wanted to get married an all but my family said no, so he went off and got married and forgot all about me. It took me ages to move on and forget about him. I wouldn't let anyone in so easily as i was scared of getting hurt.
Anyways, i now meet this guy who is so meant for me, me and him fit together so perfectly like a puzzle thats been completed. I didn't want to let myself fall for him incase my family disagrees again. So, after a few months, he popped the question, I really liked him but kept holding back but did want to spend my life with him, i told him to speak to my family, they agreed :-) We got together, i fell for him. But everytime problems kept arising and eventually my family broke it off. We got engaged only for 2 days before it was broken :-(
He was partly at fault for it breaking, he was a bit rude towards my family, but i think my family was wrong to to make such a big decision rather than speaking to him instead. Now i'm not allowed to see him or even speak to him. I hate my job, i hate my life! I can't see him or speak to him. I love my mum, since my sister passed away i've always been looking after her and i'm her only support. But i feel so pressured to listen to her because i don't want to hurt her and i know she's only doing this because she feels ...

My life, as it is.

I'm going to tell you a story. The story of my life. If you don't want to read it, then....don't...

I am an 18 year old, college freshman. My life right now consists of driving 70 miles to classes every day, actually attending class, and attempting to study for these classes. No matter how much I study, I cannot seem to do well. Last semester I wound up with a 1.66 GPA (pathetic, I know), thanks to failing pre-calculus. Math has never been my strong suit. Honestly. I had to take out a loan to actually go to college this semester, thanks to academic probation. I honestly try hard. I really do. I've always been taken as the "smart, nerdy-ass guy that nobody really likes", even though I struggle with classes. I'm not trying to be conceited, but I don't think I'm a complete idiot. My mind never stops thinking. It's...complicated.

I do have friends, but only a few that go to the same college that I do. In high school, I tended to make friends with the smart people (no, not to cheat off of them), and as a result, I was always being compared to them academically, reducing my already low self-esteem even lower. Hell, even the cousin that I occasionally stay with during the week (to save on gas money) has a 35 on his ACT, the maximum being 36. So in a nutshell, I have extremely poor self-esteem.

I was raised by a single mother who is a teacher. If you don't know, teachers do not make that much money. My father didn't want anything t...

bad things always happen to good people

Ok first off my daddy a jail bird which left me to be raised by my single mother who always have two other kids anyways she got married to a scumbag when I six he started touching an raping because my mom always worked because her husband didn't want to take care of someone else's kids anyways I finally told but was forced to lie in court I was only 12 then on top of that she stayed with him I live in a small town where everyone thinks I am a lier I have no friends I can't find a nd or when I do I can't keep one because I can't trust men and then I had a friend who set me up and got me raped she planned the raped and then I find out I was pregnant with my rapist child I kept it then two years later I start dating a guy who beat me find out he was a cheater week after the breakup I find out I was pregnant again the jerk was punching holes in the condoms just to trap me who to this day make my life a living hell and who ditch me while I was pregnant and left me broke I worked but I lost my job because the pregnancy was high risk anyways so anyways he's dating a new girl but still true to control me I have always been a good person and help others in need I am a student / nurse oops was a nurse who can't get a friend or nd if my life counted on it I am not ugly so I don't understand what's up with that but ya I am also bi polar which does not help any and ma family disowned me because they think I rued my mother marriage and is a lier I am only 22 and I wish I was die

Worst Day of My Life

Yesterday, Monday, was the worst day of my life. not, because it was valentines day or anything, but because my cat died that morning. i loved her more than i could ever possibly love anything or anyone. she had something wrong with her intestines, and the night before, i honestly thought she was doing better, and i let her sleep downstairs cuz she wanted to. sometime in the middle of the night, she tried to jump onto a chair, but was really weak and didnt make it. her claw got stuck on the cushion, and she was too weak to get it unstuck, and she died like that. i knew i shouldve checked on her later, or made her sleep in my room. i should not have let her die that way

Hopeful but still so hopeless

I am 26 years old and still live at home with my parents. I had a dream to one day become a writer and study history, travel the world and visit the historical landmarks.

I started and stopped studying for the past 8 years of my life. On top of that, I started two apprecticeships in plumbing but the only reason I attempted those was because the trade promised good money but me having a weak stomach and little interest in the technical labour I very soon became bored and eventually succumbed to depression.

I live at home with my parents and 2 siblings who are 10 to 12 years younger than me. Both children constantly fight and argue with my parents and it is hard to study with all the constant yelling and turmoil.

I have had two failed relationships both of which promised companionship for life. I fcuked them up badly. My second relationship was bliss. I loved her a lot and she was caring and genuine. At the time I was depressed and to add to the sick humour of my life, I snapped every now and than and sabotaged my relationship by breaking up with her. About five times I broke it off and I did it without warning, or any clue in regard to my judgment of character. I was sick. The 5th time she had enough and never came back, cannot blame her. I was now alone, no friends, because they did not understand and quite frankly my mates weren't an understanding bunch. I then went to a doctor and I was diagnosed with chronic bi-polar and it has been like thi...

30 odd and hating it

After a trialing childhood which contained a lot of bullying I eventually grew into an adult and ready to face the world. I was already a highly emotional individual and my defense shield was already firmly in place against society and its commoners before I got to university.

That's where I met my wife, which I settled on due to our highly emotional connection we both shared (the connection being we were both highly emotional due to our rough younger years) and have been together for over ten years now. Recently our son arrived and although it has caused a phenomenal amount of stress on our relationship, the signs of displeasure were already there before and our son has only compounded the situation.

I feel like I am constantly tip toeing around her emotional personality and I have come to conclude that we may not be the best match. I have unfortunately come to this conclusion after the baby came along which has now left me in a mind torturing situation that I can not get out of.

You see I am still committed to bringing up our child in a loving and stable household so I will never leave my wife now that he is here on earth. So I am now trapped in my insufferable mental state of disillusion, regret and pain. All this while putting on a 24/7 act of being a happy husband and father.

Not quite a life sentence, but I will be old and useless by the time I can escape this. There is so much more to this story, but I believe the summary is accurate. So all I can say is that life sucks.

Mom with 4 kids.

Me and my husband r for almost 17year togetter, I have 2kids with special needs.then i have 11year old and 16year old. Lastnight he try hit my 16year old then when i try stop him he hit me 2times in face.I forgive him so many times.. I play with boys i talk to boys,i don't have a friend because he don't like nobody,i don't going out and eat I always make food at home even bread is always home made. I don't have any fun Because i have 2boys with spacial need,he is home 1time a week.His truck driver.I don't work so I'm scared . he told me if i don't forgive him he is going out from USA . He going back to BOSNIAN so he don't have to pay child support.What can i Do?

fuck my life, i hate my life, it sucks how can i go on with my future when my past haunts me

My life sucks. I am a 19 year old male going to college and i am so sick of the shit i've had to put up with i don't feel like getting up in the morning. It seems like it should be fine, i know there are people out there with things like medical conditions but that doesn't make my life any better does it.

I am in my second year of university(college) and really can't be fucked to study or work out or anything, all these things that i used to do for my 'future' seem worthless now because i can't enjoy my future if my past is so fucked up, it just doesn't feel normal.
I was a virgin till I was 18, which really tipped me over the edge of sanity, considering it was added to a childhood of poverty, abuse and getting fucked in the ass by life.
I feel that I can't be part of a group or relate to any friends because I know they all gort to have those expreiences growing up that EVERYONE got to have as a birthright, but i mised out on and every time my friends talk about those experiences it cuts me up inside.

I suppose I'll start from the beginning.
I was born in a shitty third-world country called russia, where i had to live with my mother because my father had been shot serving in the military. My mother didn't get paid either, so we lived there borke as fuck for a while until we moved to another country where we were still broke-as. Despite not having the money to go anywhere or by shit, my mother decided to send me to a male-only boarding schoo...

yyyy

My life is weird , my mom had 4 kids , and sometimes I tell to my self y didn't I died and the two I others survied. I hate my life and I hate everyone., even my family, except her . I love her more than anything , but she Dosent like me , she likes the person that I hate the most. EverY day I think of killing myself,every day for me is the same