| Posted by mary at February 15, 2013 |
I am 54, obese woman who goes to bed at night hoping I won't wake up. I think about killing myself all the time but have a family and wouldn't want them to suffer. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have been in therapy for the majority of my life and have tried most anti depressants with no success. My youngest son has stolen most of my deceasts mothers cherished jewelry and it has broken my already broken heart. When I was younger I felt there was hope that things would change and I would overcome my depression. I now know that some people are too damaged to change. I have spent my whole life feeling bad and the idea of having to spend the rest of my life like this is unbearable and yet that is my fate... Unless I die in my sleep! |
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Posted by Tanishia Smith at February 13, 2013 |
My daughter died on 1-6-2013 from a bad asthma attack. I picked her up from daycare on my moms birthday. We were on our way to my sisters house to pick her up for the party when my daughter said she couldnt breathe. I thought it was just another acute asthma attack so i gave her some puffs of her inhaler. But she kept saying mom i really cant breathe. This had happened before so I rushed to my sisters house (I ran every light on the street). I made it there and my daughter kept saying I cant breathe. We gave her the breathing machine and called 911. She collapsed 5 minutes later and started foaming at the mouth. I had no idea she was dieing. My sister did C.P.R until the ambulance arrived. It took them forever to get there we kept calling and calling. When they arrived they tried to save her but my baby died. I still cant beleive it. It feels like a knife cut my heart open. It hurts. I feel so guilty because I didnt save my baby. I wish everyday I would have driven to the hospital. But the hospital was twenty minutes away. My daughter was only 9 years old. No one can beleive it. I have two other kids and most days I hate waking up. I cry all day it feels like im having a heartache. I wish my baby was still here. I think about taking my own life. I dont know what to do. |
| Posted by anonymous at February 1, 2013 |
I was so depressed on new years day that I decided to kill myself. I took myself to the ER because I was out of control and they placed me on an involuntary hold in the psych ward (5150). I was scheduled to discharge on the 7th, but my fiancee visited me to end our relationship that day so they held me until the 8th. I discharged on the 8th, which was my 27th birthday, and had to go directly to class. My fiancee moved out, so I am alone in our home now with our cats and it's a disaster. I am withdrawing from university because this is too much to handle right now, so I have to push back my graduation. But since my fiancee and I aren't getting married this summer anymore it's not as bad I guess. My mom called me tonight saying she wants to have a heart to heart about our mental illnesses, but she can't tonight because she's too drunk. The stress is unbelievable, it's so thick I can taste it. |
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