LIFE SUCKS : July 2012

FML

I hate my mother she controls my family and I swear if she wasn't a part of this family life would be awesome. She yells 24/7 and doesn't know how to talk normally.She never smiles unless we have visitors or when she grounds me. She is so scary.One time I shaped my eyebrows and she got mad and said if I do it again she will shave them off. I go to the washroom at least once a day for about an hour and cry. Whenever we go out and I wear something I like she yells at me and tells me to change for no reason, fml.

ok. here is my story. like most of the people. i dont know what should i do with my life? i hate my work but im stuck in it. i hate the people that im working with.and they also hate me back!!!i am alone. realy alone. i recntly lost one of my best firend. actully she is not even firend any more. i feel so much anger and depreshion and anxity and dissatisfaction inside.i realy dont know what to do. i feel like a insect that is stuck in a spider net. i feel im losing my chance for every thing and i mean every thing. i know they are so many pepole in the world with worse situation than me. but im just so tierd. i feel i cant stand up any more. althou i know that i dont have a choice . i shoud stand up. i shoud stand up.

is there a point to all this?

I am 38, divorced mother of one awesome 9 year old son. My son is the only reason I don't kill myself. It doesn't mean I don't think about it - it just means when I do consider it, I know I would have to make it look like an accident, for his sake.

I lost my job the same year I was divorced, 4 years ago. I've had one job since then, with a horribly abusive boss, each week worked hours without pay, it was really bad. Lasted a year. Without a bachelor's, I can't even get an interview.

After my divorce, I thought I found a guy who really got me, really loved me... turns out I was just an easily duped idiot, and fell for an addict, and his bullshit stories. He's gone - thank God. But I am so ashamed I let an addict manipulate me so completely - I let him into my life and into my son's life. He'll remember growing up with that piece of shit. I lost friends over it, too.

After that mess got sorted - time passed - and it seemed my ex-husband and I might rekindle our relationship. Once we talked about it though - I found that no way in hell was he interested in getting back together. His words - "I would have to be a fucking idiot to want that"
Wow.

I am overweight, trying to lose weight, but every time I "fall off the wagon", I get so discouraged - this year, I have lost net weight of TWO pounds. In 7 months. That's pathetic.

I am falling further into debt since I've gone back to college - so I can get my bachelor's and get a fr...

tired

i'm tired. my father beat me my whole childhood. i hated my mother even more than she hated me. i married an idiot who got me pregnant. he beat the shit out of me every chance he got. he committed suicide leaving me with his mentally handicapped kid. the suicide is the only good thing he ever did. now my kid has grown up and has schizophrenia and came home yesterday and tortured my dog and broke my collarbone. oh yeah and the second idiot i married left me two months ago after beating the shit out of me for 15 years. i fucking hate all men.

too much drama'n'trauma

when i was little, my daycare teacher abused me. She bit me so hard once it left bruises. I went through kindergarten to 4 th grade happily. But when i got to the summer i was going into sixth grade i got a crush on my neighbor who i was already friends with his sisters. His mom was like mine,my parents had fought alot so i went next door with my best friends and my boyfriend andmy mom figure. One day the girls went to visit their relatives in a different state for the summer. Then the boys left. My mother figure, who me and my best friends loved so much was found... dead. I was depressed, started middle school as the only goth, then i started noticing personality changes. One so happy, so funny, had no paiQaving more insomnia, personality changes, ans misunderstanding words and misreading. More headaches too
I have always been different, what remember how but i ended up on my couch. Ive always been different, im called crazy, stupid, worthless to society. But when i look in the mirror, all i see is a 12 year old girl who has been torchered, abused, betrayed, and lost since she was born. I am 2 people. I keep it to myself, everyone thinks its acting. I am different. And i know i am evil. My parents fight, my cousin cost me one of my best friends with drama. And my other best friends are unknowingly replacing me. I can not love, for all i am is destructive, and hateful. I only trust God. I know he will never doubt me, even when i doubt myself.

Fuck this place

Fuck this world. I hate this place. I should have never been born. I'm tired of day in and day out being here in this place where I am hated because I'm a trans guy. I've heard many times that what makes life meaningful are relationships with people. I do not have the opportunity to have relationships because I am constantly hiding who I am just to get by. Imagine being a guy and having always felt like a guy but not growing up in your correct body, going through the wrong puberty, having the wrong childhood memories. Imagine feeling wrong and every fucking day hearing that you are wrong. Imagine not feeling here, present, connected in anyway. I shouldn't be here.

I'm so miserable

I'm 11 years old and my life is terrible....I have a great brother who cares about me and loves me but he lives California away from me.... I also have a dad with the same traits as him but he lives in California also and I have a second brother who is 14 years old he constantly bullies me pushes me around calls me name hits me and much worse my mom disciplines me in awful ways she uses the belt and mostly her fists and doesn't care about me At all a couple days my brother called me a dumbass right in front of my mom and she didn't even care I talk to my dad everyday my mom and dad were divorced before I was even born. I Thought I had a lot of friends but this girl always says me and her a best friends but he told someone that I was gay and her sister saw our text messages and mr brother uses against me just a second ago I was praying to God asking him to take my life but I don't know if he will do that......me and him have a good relationship together and are BFF so yeah I always ask him for help and everything I hope I get to meet him and everything the end

oh woe is me...

I fuckin hate life... i'm short, inner bow legged and have the face of a mongoloid... ive had medical problems since the cradle, and i'm sick of it... people truly really don't give a shit about anyone else, just all a good act/// not even your own fuckin family cares// if life has taught me anything, it's that you can only depend on yourself. So, fuck y'all. don't be telling me lies that "you wish you coulod help", or "oh, i know how that must feel" cuz ya fuckin don't...not feelin sorry for myself, i'm a lone survivor who is totally independant, ll i really want is a girlfriend who understands me...i help people out there...

Just me and my story.

I'm 17 years old. My life has always been full of disappointments. When I was 8, my parents split up. I didn't even care then. I've never been close with either of them so I just learned how to deal with it. Then, when I became a teen, I realised that I'm alone and always have been. Nobody cares, nobody supports me. I never see my parents- my mother works late and I haven't been speaking to my father for over two years because his idea of parenting was giving me money each month and that was it. My parents screwed me up so bad taht I can't commit to anyone, I'm just too frightend even though I know I need it more than anything else. I'm depressed. It first happened when I was 15 and still, I kind of can't get rid of it. When I was 16, I moved 300 km away from home, transfered to a bording school, started to fight depression and anorexia, but it keeps coming back, even though I've tried everything, left everything behind and tried to make myself happy. But all I got was this: I fell in love with my gay friend and got rejected, but I expected that; became bulimic and kept being depressed. All the time. Still.Life sucks.

Why am I on this planet

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here? What is my purpose? I am a 50 year old guy. I have been a self employed Contractor for 30 years and have been struggling my whole life to get by. It always seems like there is a bill waiting for me every time I turn around. I can never get ahead. Of course I live in California. Besides the great weather it is the worse place to live on the planet if you are self employed. The work is slow and the Mexican can do the same thing for half the price.
I have two daughters that could give a shit about me. One is gay and lives in San Fransico and the other lives with three guys and is a ex-stipper. They only call when they need money or a truck. They would steal from me in a heart beat. One of them stole my wife's gold jewelry and my Grandmothers wedding ring. I'm sure they got the weight of gold for them.
My House is under water by $100,000 and Bank of America sold my mortgage to Greentree mortgage Co. and they suck. No loan mod. and not part of the Government program to help.
What the Fuck is Life good for?

infer

I have no sperm, can't have a child. didn't find out for decades...

Its hard out there.

19, can't find a job, my university is going to be shut down, the lead singer of my formerly passionate band died and my sister has become mentally unstable. Need I say more?

Ive always had low self esteem i don't have any friends well I call my co workers friends but it's not like we will ever hang outside of work. I don't think I'm attractive even though everyone says in very good looking I don't believe them. I have also been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years I love him so much but I resent him at the same time.when we first started dating I found out on my own he was HIV positive. I decided to stay with him because I really cared for him. We have an open relationship and it's because I found out he cheated on me multiple times and I didn't want to lose him so I stayed with him. I know it's pathetic but I honestly don't deserve better. I hate this open relationship thing it's besically him screwing all these other guys and me having no choice but to deal with it. I just found out I'm HIV positive I know it's my fault, I tried being careful but I think me becoming positive would have happened to me eventually because let's face it my life sucks. Now I cry every night because Im going to die (I have a fear of taking pills, Im scared I'm going choke on them) for me taking pills everyday for my life doesn't really seem like an option. I know my boyfriend doesn't love me and wants me to move out. I feel so ugly I have to be why else wouldn't he not like me? When ever i have a day off i feel so unwanted i hate my days off I can't go out since I have no friends to call. I feel so stupid for staying when I found out he was HIV its not like me to have had stayed. I gave him my love he gave me HIV I don't feel like living anymore. I honestly want to die I really want to kill myself. Im to much of a coward to kill myself and to much of a coward to live. I guess I just have to wait for this to kill me. I have nobody to talk to its really killing me not being able to vent. After all this I know my bf isn't a horrible person, I know he didn't want to infect me. He really is a great guy and a friend. I just wish he was like that with me.

Nothing good to look forward to anymore.

I'm in my 50's, female, married, 2 grown children.
Husband lost his job 6 years ago. He can't find another job anywhere, he's been everywhere trying to get one...he has applied to kohl's, target, wendy's, did work for ups for the christmas season, but after that..they let you go.
He has applied for what must be thousand's of job postings, and he rarely gets a call for an interview, and when he does, he never gets the job.

He made an amazing salary before all this, we never were in debt, we always paid our bills on time...even in full most of the time. I am partially disabled, I can't walk, and have a few other health related problems.

My sister lost her job 4 years ago and is now living with us. My son lost his job 2 years ago, but does other small jobs here and there...my daughter is in college till december. I worry she may not find employment too.

I'm so depressed. We are in such deep debt, I feel like we will never get out of debt..we are going to lose our home, and we have no place to go..we lost all our so called friends, nobody cares..nobody wants to listen to us...I feel like they all think we're going to ask for a hand out..all we want is for someone to just hear us out...let us vent. I'm so hurt by 2 friends especially...I remember helping them out emotionally when they needed me and my husband the most and now they will ask us how are you all ? and when I do tell her ( in an email) we never hear from them again. It's sad, shocking, and I would never do this to her. I just want to go away and never come back. I wish I could just go somewhere and scream my head off.

I can't take this crap anymore, I'm sick and tired of it all....all of it.

I Wish Someone Loved Me

My mom died this year. 6 years ago I found out that the person I thought was my dad isn't. I tried to contact my real dad who had no idea I existed and he blew me off so when my mom died I tried again. Again the blowoff. I have zero family because the half brother decided to empty mom's bank account while she was in the hospital then steal all her stuff so I got almost nothing and my aunt helped. When I was 17 I got pregnant with my HS sweetheart right after I tested out of school. Before that I was homeless living in my car and hotels with my ex bf when I was 15-17 years old. Almost no one knows this. I didn't want to get an abortion so I had the child then got pregnant again. I am now 44 years old and nobody knows that my kids were accidents. Their dad killed someone after I left him because he was on drugs and he is in jail for life so I raised the kids myself. I hate myself because I am too nice and everyone takes advantage of me and I hate everybody. So I met this guy half my age online from another country who moved here 4 years ago and I thought he would love me but since he is illegal he can't even work so he lives in my house doing nothing and looking at porn online and I hate him. My son who is 24 and does half assed attempts to look for work is living on my couch because he has nowhere to go and I hate him. My other son hates me and does shitty things to me and we aren't talking right now. I have friends who don't understand why someone so awesome as me can't get my life together but the real secret is this: I think I'm too old to do anything and I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Mentally I am stuck at around maybe 16 years old. I am on disability because I hurt myself at work last year and they are going to give me free training and a settlement so I think maybe I want to be a hairdresser and buy my own first home. I am completely alone. FML.

Well fuck

Well here we go, looking over you all comment on each others sad stories I figured I'd add my own. This is probably the closest I have come to caring in quite some time. I look at your stories and I see kids, work, plus 100k a year, home, so on and so fucking forth. Um hello, if I had even half of one those I'd be jumping for Fuckig joy. But I'm not, and I don't. I'm actually in an insane amount of debt, but no one knows, and by no one I mean the 3 people I talk to, including my mother, step father and person I drive to work. U know what I do for work? I sit in a corner and build boxes. Yes boxes, for 11$ an hour. 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. And for what? So I can stuff my face with mcshits and sneak cigars when no one is paying any attention. Today I received a few texts, mostly from mother, asking where a bank is, and I'f I cam take her, so she can brin in her rolled pennies to buy smokes, even though she is suppose to die soon, as she sits back and pops her pain meds and tells me she wants to kill herself becuase I was born, grantor she doesn't do it daily anymore, she still enjoys telling me time from Time. A year and. Half ago I was happy, weighing in at 107-110. Now 130 I can't stand to look in a mirror, I eat becuase I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy when I eat, I drink when unhappy, I have a addication to exlax stupid I know. I dream of marriage, knowing it will never happen, I dream of kids, who will never love me. and when dad dies there is no one to tell me. I dont wa...

i was rape

i was rape by my uncle when i was 5 year i would always bleam it on me bcuz i never told my mother untill we move out and what was wost was that my mother didnt do anything about it and it still hurts becuz ive would of felt good inside of me nowing that he pad for what he did but noo he past away 3 mounths ago and i felt soo bad becuz i new what he did and it was hardcore something that i will never forget he toke all my inocents away at the age of 5 and now im 20 and it still afects me when it comes to a relationship i still cry and i some times perpher to stay alone at home and let all my tears come out i

Fuck's Sake

My mother is terminally ill of cancer. I quit my high paying corporate plush job to come home to take care of a dragon lady. My mothers so mean I haven't seen my fater or sister in the better part of 15 yrs. she drives away anyone close to her including friends. Not only do I deal with the constant nagging, the barking of orders, and dictionary of curse words that spill put of her mouth daily, I must cook every meal she eats (super picky won't let the sitter cook) change her diaper and clothes twice daily because the ovarian cancer disrupts her urine flow which in turn voids all control. She empties her bladder constantly. Sometimes when she deficates she misses the toilet. Her constant soiling of her self results in me changing her sheets, and doing laundry everyday. She's completely ungrateful and says I'm trying to kill her and says she's going to report me to social services everyday. This I believe is due to the hallucinations from the extremely potent narcotics she taking for pain control. She's completely controlling and demanding. I have no life, and I support her wholey, financially and emotionally. This isn't the worst part. She's my only family and literally everyhing I love. I get the privilege of watching her decay to nothing. Every waking moment of her life is filled with unimaginable agony. She went from being a proud independent and ridiculously strong woman to sniveling petty fear-filled shadow of a person. I've seen her overcome the most difficult obstac...

yadda

I fear life is a philosphilcal pathway to death, and i find it funny as i read a doctors view on that as being fine as long as no illnesses or what not is involved. Now i disagree if they have a family... everyone has a family. Ok so.. Philsophilocally... when your old enough (not 18, sorry) , perhaps 25 and you still want to kill yourself. YOU MUST, MUST talk to someone. In life we go thorugh.. you have always TALKED to someone. So you MUST talk to someone about your problems. It's funny how it can seem " tell this person everything.. no where". Then don't it, it is your choice. I wish nothing but the best for you people.

(lifesucks probably won';t accept this)

I give permission to lifesucksbigtime.com to edit any material of this and wanting to know that because of a recent story of mine that had 8 to 2 (that sucks/not really) i guess i felt it was more easier to start cutting myself and truly hatiing life. It's funny how the internet can be full of trolls , well atleast what thought . Fuck you.

Just fucking tired.

srry if i dont spell eny of this right or enything haha.

ok lets just get this out of the way 14 yr old soon to be 15 in like 6 days also im a girl.

god where to begin my story? the past years until about 2010 have been just one big blur. i used to hate so much now im just disappointed. all my life iv been lied to, i dont even trust my perents. my dad used to beat my brother and my sister, thank god he has never touched me. my mom used to be a alcoholic until about a year go, but unlike my father she abused me sometimes when i started to get older (i was abut 10 when she started to) but she would never do enything too severe like punch me billion times. no it was always like though a picture frame at me or punch my back hard enough for me to fall. my mom and i would always argue too.
anyways on with my story. my mom has two daughters (me and my half sister)
my dad had one daughter(me)and a son (my half brother)
my brother and sister would do durgs when they where younger (there like 22,23 yrs old now)
my dad would aways say things about how my mother was a horrible person and how she always lied to me about him and how things happend (things i did not no or things i dont remember) and my mother would do the same about my father. i dont no who to trust about who is always stirring up trouble for us. to be honest i dident care i just hated that i was in the middle of there fights. i hated both of them and now im just to tired to care i ju...