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LIFE SUCKS : 2012 March

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    [Tell Your Story]  "The pit" (fresh stories)

    Introvert

    Posted by jon at March 30, 2012
    Tags: 2012 March   Sociopathy

    Sorry I'm introverted. I can't help that. I hate talking to people, yet I have this longing to make friends. But I can't. I can't simply muster up the courage to talk to people. Everyday I tell myself I'll talk to one person in one of my college classes, but I never do. I'm over weight and I know that. I'm trying to lose it but it never seems to go away. When I feel sad and alone I usually turn to food. Trying to quit doing that though and so far it's working, but now I have this void in my life I feel needs to be filled. My roommate is a coddled child who thinks money grows on trees. His parents never taught him any responsibility or the value of a dollar. He constantly calls me a bitch and a pussy to my face but I never retaliate. I can hear the things he says to his friends about me, he doesn't know. We used to be cool until I told him what I really thought about him and he tells me I'm jealous of his friends because I have none. In a way he's true. I wish I could be extraverted, but I'm not. I can't help who I am, or the way I think. Somedays I really think, if I offed myself in my room how long would it take for them to notice? But I can only wish...


    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    why bother.

    Posted by fws at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 March

    I am a fat worthless piece of shit. there is absolutely nothing redeeming about me and everyone in my life reminds me of that. The only reson i dont kill myself and get it over with is because i have a 2 year old who depends on me. No matter what i do i am never good enough for anyone. The man i have been with for 4 years treats me like such dirt and takes special care to remind me how worthless i am. I was molested at a young age and have trust issues. I have no friends, no love and i cant even kick him out because i will lose the roof over my head if i do. I just want it all to end and i want to disappear because I think everyone would be better off without me. I want to beleive in god but how can life be this hard? I get that he wouldnt do it if i couldnt handle it but why is it so damn hard? i just want the pain and worthless feelings to go away.


    Comments: 17   Votes:


     

    random!!!

    Posted by strange kid at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Anger   Attitude   2012 March

    I have nothing but hatred for everone.
    (yes i really do, naw only when i look at everyone else and seee what they have done and accomplished. proud of them)
    I have anger management problems. Not normal ones though. Their quite strange. Sometimes I get so mad that I just sit there-- shaking, saying in my mind "God kill me now dammit!".
    (hmm, i must admit that happens alot but i remind myself that i am ok)
    I also tend to get really jealous of people sometimes. I admit it, I have serious issues.
    (true true happens to most peolpe well thats what i tell myself but i know tis true)
    most people tell me I have too much patience and often comment that they would burst long before I do.
    (i guess that is good for the most part, plenty of patience..that is good if i say so myself*smiles*)
    I know that I should probably try harder in life, and some of my problems are my own fault, but its just so hard. I see all these different people in this world, and no one seems to want to get along with each other. Most people seem to enjoy contributing to this endless cycle of hate and pain, which really makes me sad
    (well, everyone goes through their own sort of pain and everyone suffers in their own way, right? so really, doesnt make me sad)
    if he or she fails, they try again, no matter what, no matter how many times. And so I think to myself, why do I still do nothing. Or rather, why donít I change something. While knowing that talking about all of this...

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    Comments: 37   Votes:


     

    i really dislike life right now

    Posted by japhy at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Juvenile problems   2012 March

    I have so much stress in my life im a 18 year old male and im gay...im currently hiding from my family and everyone that means something to me and I don't know how im going to come out cause my mom throws these horrible ifs at me and my family is to judging I have this constant feeling of being trapped because I have no where to run to ...on top of that I have to deal with stress at home, my family is poor my house life i have to hide because its so sad me and my mom use to be able to make a good living but it seems as soon as she adopted my nephew we couldn't manage I don't even wanna go much more into the subject of my families financials because I kno that god always provides for me ,I now find myself suffering from serious depression at times...I've been gaining wait and the last 5 months I've been feeling pain through my shoulder my arm and my chest all on my leftside..I have the greatest instinct from god things will get better..im just hoping that its soon because our landlord just gave us 2 months to evacuate the premises


    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    The Agony Effect

    Posted by anonymous at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Abuse   Family   2012 March

    Where do i start?,I was born in a family were it left a huge scar,my father is a raging alcoholic,and my mother is a psycho whore,the only person that i could turn to is my older brother,my brother was abused badly by our mother,I remember when i used to be eight,my brother was thirteen at the time,my mother took him to her bedroom and locked the door,i was sitting on the couch watching cartoons,then after they got out of the room,my brother had some bruises and his clothes looked tored,i was terrified when i saw him,and i also had a half brother is a lazy asshole who doesnt want to work,a couple of years ago my dad brung him over to our house to stay until hes back on his feet again,he was homeless,it was a living hell,all he did is sit on his fat ass,eat and watch tv,and one day i belived he hurt our jack russell,but nobody gave a fuck,then one day he finaly found a homeless shelter to stay in,it was a relief when he left, and did you know that i've always suffered from a anxiety/personality disoder and depression?,it wrecked most of my teen years,i was so anti-social to where i would run away from people,and i been having some creep who was stalking me for three years,he would follow me and tried to track where i live,i'm to scared to sleep at night because i'm afraid he would try to break in my room while i'm asleep,I'm seventeen now,i've never had anything close to a best friend,i never had a fucking boyfriend!,and i can't drive yet,i've tried alot of times to kill myself but i always failed miserbly,it looks like i'm gonna die alone,fuck this place you call a world,fuck the socaity,fuck my family,fuck me,fuck satan & fuck god!!!.


    Comments: 19   Votes:


     

    My Life

    Posted by Robert at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Life Story   2012 March

    This is my life. Just wanted to share.

    Since as far back as I can remember I was physically abused and verbally abused by my dad. He'd beat me every week on a drop of a dime. He'd call me dumb and useless almost everyday. Cared more about his friends than his own kids. Gambled all of the families extra cash and never won cause he never knows when to get up and leave till he has nothing left. Didn't give two shits about helping me at school. If I didn't get something he'd just sigh and call me dumb and useless. I wanted this McDonald's glass cup that had the batman figures on them but he said no and like most kids I was sad and moved on. But one day he actually got it for me when we went to McDonald's and I was happy as hell. I used that cup to drink everything from that day on. I even happily drank milk from it and I didn't like milk because it doesn't sit well with me most fo the time. But one day his friend comes over with his son and when his son saw my cup he said he liked it. INSTANTLY my dad without the tiniest regard for my feelings just said, "keep it". Like nothing. I was shocked and said it's mine... He just said oh psssh it's just a cup. Fuck him. Through all the beatings and verbal abuse that shit hits me the hardest till this day. Guess getting beat and verbally abused got more normal than losing my favorite cup. As you might have guessed he wasn't much of a husband either. Cheated on my mom with prostitutes. Used to hit her when arguments got reall...

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    Comments: 6   Votes:


     

    Sad, Tired, and Feel Unlovable and Worthless!

    Posted by anonymous at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Job   Loneliness   2012 March   Relationship

    Let's see....

    Husband lost job, family lost their home, lost 17 years of marriage. The man was, and still is a miserable verbally abusive asshole... Happy about the break up because the kids and I have some form of peace, but also sad & frustrated because so much invested in that much time. It's disgraceful that this person didn't recognize what he'd had, and still doesn't.

    40 year friendship gone, due to unexpected death.

    Just found out my other friend of 40 years is dying of an incurable disease, and may need to leave her remaining 3 children with me to finish raising them and loving them. Nervous about this because she lives so far away, I don't really know these kids.

    Closest family member moved out of the country.

    Work all the time because of a demanding low paying job. Financially strapped, tired, and feel unlovable, worthless, and heart wrenching-ly sad and lonely... Definitely NOT in finding someone new at the moment, but also afraid to trust at the same time....

    Can't kill myself, too many people rely on me, & it would ruin their lives.


    Comments: 50   Votes:


     

    Can never win.

    Posted by anonymous at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Justice   2012 March   Mistakes   Money

    What's up? I am a 31 year old male. It seems no matter how hard I try I can never have any kind of luck. I committed a minor offense of attempted forgery when I was barley 18. But I guess in the eyes of texas it was serious enough to be a felony and follow me for the rest of my life with no chance of ever getting it expunged. So thanks to a foolish teenage mistake my chances of gainful employment are ruined forever. Then also in the stat of texas they frown on driving with no insurance which I did in 99 and 2000 and of course with my luck there is no stature of limitations on traffic tickets in texas either so I do not have a drivers licenced and have not had one since 2004. In 02 and 03 my wife of 6 years decided to have a couple of little ones without my help. We divorced in 06. So in o6 and 08 I have a couple of little ones and.surprise surprise I get hit with child support. So on toolbox having to work shit jobs now I can take home about 125 a week but am currently unemployed because I got fired from pizza hit for giving the birch that stuck me for child support a 50percent discount. And to top that all off my only means of transportation broke down last week 4 hour away from the house while I was job hunting.


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    I am Sick of my Life

    Posted by BubbleBuddy at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Juvenile problems   2012 March

    I am a 18 year old girl and I absolutely hate my life. Ever since school finished last year I have had no friends, even when i was in school I had 3 friends that didn't give a shit about me, No one bothered to talk to me they had separate conversations between themselves and did not include me in any thing they did like going to the movies or to each others houses. I never payed attention in school and nearly failed year 12, I just wasn't motivated enough and I was bored every second of my life. I dont find anything fun anymore and I hate myself and my family. The only thing that has stopped me from killing myself is My 8 neices and nephews who I love with all my heart. I have never had a boyfriend and no one has ever shown an interest in me. Its not like I actually care about not having a boyfriend its just when everyone makes a big deal about you being a virgin and not ever having a boyfriend it gets you down and upset. My mum is the biggest bitch ever She constantly says that she hates me and wishes i was not in the house. She constantly does it to everyone in my family so everyone is grumpy and arses to everyone else too. My mum constantly yells and her yelling is scary. I am afraid to do anything by myself as in ring a doctor for help, I am too shy which i hate. When I try to talk to someone everything comes out in weird sentences and doesnt make sense and i constantly have to repeat what i say because i have said something that does not make sense. I have had a job ...

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    Comments: 11   Votes:


     

    Yep it sure does

    Posted by Its time at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Loneliness   2012 March   Relationship   Unemployment

    Hi all,

    This is my story. four years ago, life was pretty good. I was married to a man whom I considered to be my soul mate. A man I was so in love with. We did everything together he treated me like a princess. I had a good job and we had been married for five years and built a beautiful home together. I was so happy and life was so good. Then one day my husband asked me to log onto his computer and send a copy of his CV to him so he could apply for a job that he was interested in. So I logged on to his computer and found the file marked "MarK" and when I opened it, I didn't get his CV I got a series of short films, home made, of my husband going down on one of the women he worked with, oh boy what a complete shock. So I sent him a copy of it, I was so upset, that he jumped into his car and drove straight home from work. Telling me its not what you think it is, how can one be mistaken in thinking anything else, that that is my husbane going down on someone who was not me, but a female that he worked with. Nope no mistaking there. That was the beginning of the end. I then found out that my darling husband had been cheating on me for years, and his first affair was three months before he married me, and had a new female every year, five in five years, no bad hey. So we went to marriage counselling and he made all sorts of promises to me, and we tried to rebuild the relationship. didn't work, he just kept having affairs, so I kicked him out. He now ...

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    Comments: 22   Votes:


     

    Metamorphosis

    Posted by IAmCalamity at March 30, 2012
    Tags: Life Story   2012 March   Relationship

    When I was four, my parents split up due to my mother's alcoholism and use of drugs. There was a bitter custody battle and, though I know not how, my mother won and my father, who I thought to be an intelligent man (he was, at least, educated), subsequently became addicted to heroin himself.
    My mother quickly set to task in doing two things: destroying herself and indoctrinating me into the Catholic Church.

    No sooner had she won custody of me did she begin threatening me with an eternity of hell-fire and warning of the dangers of demonic possession -- "don't ever let anyone tell you that the devil doesn't exist", I was told, "that's what he wants you to think". The result of this and the rather unconventional scripture classes I was made to attend (but I won't go into that) was a deep religious paranoia which permeated throughout the next twelve years of my life.
    The absurdity has not been confined to morbid religious conditioning; her methods of discipline were also unorthodox (these too, however, are details I shall omit).

    When I was seven, I was diagnosed with a hip condition and had to undergo several operations. I have been left with an irregular gait, and in the future I will have to eventually have a full replacement of the hip.
    When I was nine, my father, who I had not seen for a year in any case, committed suicide by injecting himself with an inordinate amount of diamorphine.
    From there on, my mother's mental state steadily decli...

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    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    No job, no money, no hope!

    Posted by anonymous at March 29, 2012
    Tags: Health   2012 March   Unemployment

    I am a single middle age overweight white male. Mildly handicapped. I am in the last demographic that employers would look. Forget that I have an IQ above 140. That my body was damaged by a drunk driver when I was fighting a fire at age 30. That since that day in 1984 I haven't had one pain free day. There are still many ways I could contribute to society. But to employers, I am an unhireable. I have a lifetime of skills and experience. Does not matter. We are getting dangerously close to a society like the one in the movie, Logan's Run. Or even Soylent Green. If you are over a certain age you become useless to society and should be terminated.


    Comments: 2   Votes:


     

    My Daughters life sucks without Insurance

    Posted by Babs at March 29, 2012
    Tags: Health   2012 March

    I am Mom and my daughter is Meme. She is 34 now. She was born ill, it started with jaundice when she was born and a few weeks later she had an upper respiratory infection. I sat up nights awake just so she would'nt stop breathing without me there. One doctor over medicaded her and another helped her overcome the problem. Then through life she fell and got bumps,bruises and fevers as any child does. When she started school she was quite different. She wasnt very social and she couldnt focus and she had trouble learning as quickly as others. Not mentally retarded as we called it then by any means, just hard to focus, didnt make friends well and overall was awkrard all through school. I did try ridilin for a while but it didnt work so we stopped, she even went to a therapist as a teen who wanted to hypnotize her but she didnt except that well so we stopped. As an adult she just wanted a baby to love. Her heart is so big and caring and loving but she has difficulties with focussing and had so many bad experiences as a child that i didnt learn of util recently. That makes a mother feel guilty and sad. I didnt protect my baby.
    Now she has clinical depression, extreme anxiety disorder, PMSD, a hernia,cracked tail bone, frequent kidney infections,swollen joints,pinched nerves,constant pain,siezures that has caused memory loss and keeps her from driving and now she has developed severe stomach and bowel problems! Oh but thats not the worst, the worst is...she has no insurance...

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    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    My pain

    Posted by anonymous at March 29, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 March

    I have cried. I feel the pain cut me like a knife. I feel in love with my best friend and he is constantly ripping my heart out. My family and I fight so often. I feel unwanted, unneeded, unloved. I am ugly, fat, useless. My life is barely beginning, yet, I find that already I want myself to just un-exist. I can not trust because I have been hurt so many times. I find myself here because a blank page listens better than any "friend or family" near. I have never thought it would be this way for me...I never thought Id be sitting alone one day pouring my heart out to total strangers. People who may not read this, people who may not care, who may laugh, but I felt a need to let someone know that I feel so void..Void..of emotions.


    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    many to zero

    Posted by God at March 29, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 March

    i ask myself do we as pple try to hard to get what we want in life or do we let life takes its course as planned, i ask this cause i dont understand my life at present im 36 have no friends,im scared of meeting pple in public suffer from some kind of depression,anxiety and tend to stay home alot as its a security blanket for me, no g/f pretty much independent,now my life wasnt always like this from the ages of 24 i had my first g/f and relationship as i one who didnt rush to have sex but wanted to make sure it was the right person.however it turned out bad after 2 yrs i caught her sleepin her around so i left it devastated me felt rejected and unworthy,felt like killin myself,what love can do to a person,so i moved on and started dating on chat room sites,i was hooked i was meeting and have sex with over 200 women or more for casual sex,fuck buddys,i was fucking milfs,married women,young,old i didnt give a fuck i was on a roll and was confident as ever i was gettin women left and centre,met new friends and everything was goin gr8,after playin the field for so long i wanted somethin more a relationship but i never commited as i had a fear of losing everythin and the case of being cheated on again,now i cant sustain a relationhsip anymore,they dont last and always get hurt,now i have nothin no friends no women to meet get rejected it just doesnt make sense what has happened one minute u have it all now i have nothing?i dont fear of being alone for the rest of my life but i still want someone there till the end.is this a time on my life were the universe has stopped me from meetin any1 or is this just karma resurfacing on what i have done in my life?


    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    Devastation

    Posted by anonymous at March 29, 2012
    Tags: Loneliness   2012 March   Money   Tragic Events

    I am in my 30's...I lost my wife and my infant son in a car accident a few years ago. My wife was my college sweetheart and my son's smile lit up a room. They were my entire life.

    Shortly afterwards, I lost most of my wealth (over $150k) b/c of the economic collapse.

    Because of this and a job loss (basically fired b/c I no longer cared), I foreclosed on my home. I now have an income but it is barely enough to live on, and I live with a relative and his wife, but I NEVER leave my room or the house as I do not have a car any longer. I think about suicide EVERY day.

    I am missing most of my front teeth because of a childhood accident and failed dental work, and I have no insurance of any kind. Even if I did have the money I am not sure I would care enough to fix them any longer.

    I have no friends at all anymore, no human interaction except a short conversation I may have with my relative and his wife maybe once per week.. They are so nice to let me live here b/c I know I am a burden and depressing to be around.

    I am alone in the world and miss my family so much. I wish all of you the best, life should not be this hard.


    Comments: 14   Votes:


     

    me or not

    Posted by forgoten_alice at March 29, 2012
    Tags: Family   2012 March

    my life isnt the oh everyone forgot me completely. more of an emptiness on my part. i am a no body who does infact mean no one to anyone. but they now who i am...well the fake me's. no one i know know a the real me. the me who is quiet and cold. everyone knows me as loner/funny/happy/tired, while infact im lonely, sad, mad, and empty. why i prefer empty is because my feelings have left me (forgot who i was.
    my parents are divorsed. my dad is a drunk and my mom is in a mental hospital curing(not really) her eating dissorder. they dont really like me because a) i am the middle child of 10, b) never there to surrport them and c)apperently not help full. my family thinks im a loser hobo and my life will go nowhere. and sometimes the bully me or dont even notice im there in the room when they talk bad about me.
    my social skills are shit, my friends will die of drugs, im not pretty ( or so i think) my family lets me down all the time and now im writing this on a site crying hoping my life wont be as meaningless to the reader. and my situation isnt as ad as other people but i just needed to tell someone who might care more then anyone :I


    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    Stuck

    Posted by anonymous at March 29, 2012
    Tags: Attitude   2012 March

    I'm broke. I'm waiting on a promotion that would double my pay, but I don't know when it will happen. My boyfriend is becoming lazy and depressed and even though he's unemployed, I find that I have to clean up after him constantly. I want to move out and just be by myself again, but I haven't been able to find anywhere that will take all of my pets. I can't even afford to buy a fucking trailer.

    I'm trapped in this stupid college town full of assholes just wasting a really good opportunity to improve their lives. Instead of doing right, they just drink cheap liquor (paid for by daddy and sally mae) and bring down pay rates for everyone else. It is almost impossible to find a job with benefits because the college students, in general, don't need them. They have no clue how lucky they are, or what awaits them after they drop out.

    I wasn't going to be stuck here. I was going to be an engineer. Then I started having panic attacks all the time. So I took some time off. They never really stopped, but they got worse when I returned to school again. This happened again. So, I've dropped out three times and now that shitty college job I had for some extra money is now all that stands between me and being homeless. It's cool, they promoted me and now I make $1.75 over minimum wage. But don't worry I still make $60 too much per month for food stamps.

    It would all be okay if when I came home from work, I came back to a partner who was working towards...

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    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by The Lonliest Stoner at March 29, 2012
    Static LinkTags: 2012 March   Philosophical

    Not really a story, but my life is in the shitter right now and im a songwriter

    And he'll sit back with a smile
    drowning inside his heart,
    panic takes over
    and he blends with his tears

    Scared to remember the truth.
    and the past that has shaken him
    these memories
    these memories bring tears
    these recollections
    these broken dreams and here's,
    here's to these broken dreams

    This path is all to familiar, as I daydream I,
    open my eyes and see that nothings changed

    Treachery in my veins is all deserved,
    forgiveness lies beyond the line of breathing eyes
    what makes me change?
    (what brought me here?)
    what have i done?
    (why am i here again?)

    Will this end?
    Please just end..

    These tears are all to familiar, as I daydream I,
    open my eyes and see that nothings changed

    Thanks for reading
    -David



    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    im just so confused....

    Posted by anonymous at March 29, 2012
    Tags: Juvenile problems   2012 March

    I'm a 16 year old kid, Now you people may begin to straight away jump to conclusions but what i'm felling is real and nobody seems to care enough to listen or even help me. My life is a complete mess... I spend my days trying to make myself and others happy, and all the time i just seem to make things worse. For a start, I am truly hated by everybody and i don't even know why. All i ever did in my school is try to friends and now i just get insulted and bullied by everyone. Why? i don't know. I guess im an easy target, However this has been going on for most of what seems to be my life. I've never harmed anyone in anyway and i could never do that because i dont like to hurt people. instead i'd rather just be nice and get on with things. One time a few months ago, i was standing on the field and was attacked by three boys i didnt even know. They pulled my hood over my eyes and pulled the strings tight and knotted them so i couldnt pull my hood don and then they just beat me and ran. They had broken my nose and i was bleeding pretty bad. nobody even wanted to help me. i hid around the shed at the back of the school and just hid. I spend everyday of my life flinching and paranoid, simply because im always getting hurt and beaten by everyone and for what reason? what have i done to deserve this kind of treatment? all i want to do is be alone but no matter what i'm getting hurt for things i havent even done. Today i had an arguement with my parents for revision classes. Becaus...

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    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

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