|Posted by untitled at May 29, 2012|
I am a 17 year old girl as of last week. Although my life story is short , it took its down fall last year on April 9th to be exact. It started with an ex and my inability to say no. You see I began talking to this boy when I was 13 or so. Not too long ago, but a few mindsets back without a doubt. I was convinced we were meant just as every girl my age felt with the typical bad boy. Problem was he had a child on the way. Not the usual problem of relationships. Having been allowed around during this time I felt a certain responsibility. A need to be apart of both his life and his child's. Was I naive for feeling this way? Yes... I was. I only learned that after it was too late. This guy could convince my ignorant mind and low self esteem to do just about anything. Send half naked pictures, check. Help him cheat on the mother of his child, check. Make me believe he loved me and I loved him, double check. The worst was only to come. After having the mother of his child find the pictures and put them on the Internet for an hour or two and taking him back I should've known where it would go at that moment. The next step of course would to lose my pride and dignity to him of course. Not the way I'd dreamt of it to happen either. I mean being asked and rejecting the idea several times until he took it. If you have not yet figured out what I am talking about, I do indeed mean my virginity. Did I stay with him after? Yes, only until I discovered his secrets. The drugs. The dealing...
|Posted by anonymous at May 28, 2012|
yesterday... i stole my sisters atm card and drew 60 dollars off it. a friend and i went and bought some pump it and did a couple of nice issues, got pretty faded. we invited some girls over to my house to get drunk and i nearly fucked one of them, i would have done it but i couldnt get it up. we had gotten them drunk and high on spice, and they stayed the night while my sister, who is supporting me, stayed the night at work after spending the day in the hospital with her boyfriend who had just been in a bad car accident. this morning i sent the girls home, and cleaned up the house real good just before my sis came home. she had no idea anything had happened.
i am in my late 20's, unemployed, and a meth addict. i am a father of three kids who were put into foster care while i was in jail. i went to jail for felony resisting arrest, and old misdemeanor drug charges. i spent 4 months in jail, it could have been more. while i was in jail, my girlfriend broke up with me for some dike. then she delved deeper into her addiction, and practically abandoned my kids so she could run amuck and get spun. a month before i get out of jail, she gets arrested at the place she was staying. she had warrants, but the cops were called there on suspicion of burglary. when she went to jail, child welfare services took our kids into custody, and put them in a foster home. i get out of jail a month later, and they want to adopt my kids, and terminate my parental rights. so now i am doing an ...
|Posted by anonymous at May 28, 2012|
I don't have a giant sob story but things I need to get off my chest. I hate my life but not enough to commit suicide like some people here. I'm the middle child of 3 and I was diagnosed with arthritis which ruined my only passion, singing. I was the one who could reach the notes that no one else could and I was a great actress. Now, I have noguels on my vocal chords, a range of 6 notes, a raspy voice and no main roles in anything! Nowadays you gotta be able to sin in order to be an extra in a play. Even speaking parts are given to the best singer!
Most of y'all won't understand but life's tough being the forgotten one cause "I don't do any extra circular things," or "I don't make honor roll every semester." I do art and guitar that's all I need in my life, no mentoring, no tutoring, nothing but an form of art.
Sorry I really shouldn't be venting to y'all but I'm sick and tired of being the forgotten crippled child with no skills!
Sorry for wasting your time.
|Posted by Enel at May 28, 2012|
Born to a teenager and pedophile, whoremongering dad. My mom didn't want me but couldn't afford to abort me. My dad and mom never married and my dad was killed when I was four. My mom left me at many neighbors and family homes while she went away for hours (even days) before returning. I spent most of my life with my grandparents - Grandfather unemployed alcoholic who sexually molested my Auntie until the age of 18, Grandmother who couldn't think past church. When I did stay with my mom she would beat me and then brag about to me, she would also make fun of me and ridicule me in front of others. There's so much more to tell, but not enough time. My life has consisted of disappointments, depression, hatred, envy, jealousy, abandonment, mental and physical abuse, raped while a teenager, countless amount of jobs, broken hopes dreams and promises. I'm on medication for seizures and suffer from major depression. I often think about committing suicide, but afraid of the pain I'd endure. I don't give a damn about the pain it would cause others and don't really believe that it would anyway. Let them walk a mile in my shoes. I'm a failure and always have been. Each day I dread the next day to come. I hate my job, dislike most of my co-workers and despise my boss and the owner of the company. They're all a bunch of phonies. Although I used to be very skinny, I'm now very overweight and my hair won't grow fast enough. I'm considered to be attractive, but I hate myself, I hate my li...
|Posted by jhyia at May 28, 2012|
I don't why I'm posting this, maybe i should get a diary. I have no friends. Live with mom, single female. Almost 40. Loser. Pathetic isn't it. People my age are married and have kids. Not still stuck at home. Life going no where. I get happy with little stuff, not big stuff, focused on the negative stuff, not too much positive stuff, don't want it to go in my head. It's like I can't be happy too long. Ok so this guy pissed me off today on my way to walmart. Coming out of a yeild, wasn't much traffic, thought i cleared all the cars. Merged into to the left lane, than i noticed a car along side me and it went in front, then the jerk says " I know you saw us, should have let you fucking hit us". That was it, didn't respond, he turned off to Target. Didn't make eye contact with him, felt scared. Angry, didn't really see him. If i did I won't have merged. Wouldnt' have nearly hit him. Just got a new SUV, don't really want an accident, too much crap that goes with it. But you know, people are so angry, what I'm angry about is that i didn't do anything. Let's say our cars did hit. Even if we went to court and it really wasn't my fault, i would think it's my fault. See that's my problem. Something happens, i make it bigger than what it is, i beat myself up, i call myself a loser. Lot of self hatred. I imagine myself shutting down, like being those people who never come out of their house. Afraid of the outdoors. Is it the outdoors that they're really afraid of or i...
|Posted by anonymous at May 28, 2012|
My dad is an alcoholic. My family is poor. My siblings do drugs and what not to escape their problems while I try in school and keep myself away from trouble so I know I have some kind of future ahead of me that isn't full of drinking and doing drugs. I live in a shitty house and my friends take me for granted. Sometimes I think they don't really care for me at all, I'm just there. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror or even hear myself talk because I'm disgusted with who I am. I'm selfish and greedy and I can't help it. I try to be appreciative of what I have but I never will be. All I do is envy other's for their lives and sometimes I just hate people because they have what I want so badly. I hate my family and personally I don't want anything to do with them. My father is an alcoholic who has emotionally and physically hurt us while my mother only cares for herself and is ignorant. I'm fed lies each day and I don't know who to believe, everyone thinks its fun to fuck with my mind. I need help but I'm not willing to accept it because I don't want to be classified as dysfunctional just yet even though I know I am. I want to have a bright, successful, and adventurous future but I know that will never happen. Only people with money get what they want, they can afford a proper education from colleges and have the life. I'll end up in a shitty house with a shitty life when I'm older and nothing is more terrifying to me than that. I have no future ahead of me even though I do good in school and I'm ambitious. I'll be forever tied to this shitty town surrounded by hopelessness. Maybe I'll just stick around and get hit some more and told I'm worthless some more until I crack and kill myself.
|Posted by anonymous at May 28, 2012|
I'm kind of exploding. I was heavily depressive for several years but kept fighting hard to turn my life into something good again. I was in psycho-therapy for 6 years until now finally I faced my trauma.
My childhood consisted of an incredible amount of aggression and pure hatred. The danger of being slayed by my older brother was real and a constant experience. I was so fearful that I've developed several psychosis relating to monsters that made me unable to move so that I pissed into my bed. Or later in life when I had my girlfriend in the arm I suddenly had a shock that she is a vampire. I was sure to die of cancer for about 6 years. Other things.
All this my head blocked so hard - I even blocked out the existence of fear. I realized all this in the years of psychotherapy but my mind still blocked it on the emotional basis. These weeks it becomes truth in my heart. I've experiencing a set of flashbacks that I have to fight to pull me back into reality. A coat of pure horror covers me when I don't actively occupy my brain with some complex task. I've decided to postpone the decision about suicide until the peak of shit times is over.
Wish me luck, I need it.
Ah ye, the 4 stages: childhood, psychosis throughout my life, depression, confrontation.
|Posted by dave at May 28, 2012|
U people think your life sucks? Go to a third world country and see how bad life CAN suck.. Try being disabled or paralyzed and see how life CAN suck.. I see nothing but a bunch of whiny selfish people here that take everything they have for granite.. And no one is gonna make your life better than YOU.. If you want things to happen then make them happen and dont take every little rejection personally because everyone and every situation is different. Its a learning process.. And for godsakes take care of yourselves!!
|Posted by anonymous at May 28, 2012|
I'm 33 now... I have no job because of illness... However, what hurts me the most is that i never knew love in my entire life... I never had a girl friend and it hurts like hell... My father committed suicide when I was 22, now, almost twelve years later, I think of doing the same... My life sucks and loneliness is killing me... I can't bear to feel this any longer... People say things will get better for me, but I've heard this for so many years that I don't believe in this anymore... I've tried to be happy, I've tried to help others whenever I could, but now I've had defenitely enough of this shitty lonely life in this shitty world... I don't know if my English is still very good, it's been a long time since I last went to school and I'm from Holland... I just long for peace...
|Posted by ANON-NE-MOUS at May 28, 2012|
At the start of the year I lost my nephews. I've lost my father, my brother, my grandfather. I've lost shitloads of people and been left here with a mother whose told lies about me and a lying sister whose faked a pregnancy. Thats only the beginning. I don't know why I am even bothering to write this and hope that maybe this mite give me some peace of mind or something cos all I feel like is a ticking time bomb.
I've had good times and I've had bad times. Its my past i find hard to deal with. The fact that my mother has lied about me. When my brother died, I was only young and I lost it. Most of that year was a drugged and drunken haze to me. We held his unveiling on what would have been his 21st. My grandfather died that same day. A few months down the track, I was having a big argument with my aunty and she told me how disgusted she was with me, how could i disrespect my mother so much. I had no fucking idea what she was on about and said so. It was then that I learnt that my mother had told my family that I had tried to "step" her out at my own brothers unveiling. That in a drunken state, I tried to attack her. I wish now that i had done that. The argument was stopped right then and there, I was in such shock that because all i could think was that the wrong kid had died. My mother must really wish it was me n not her precious son because how could a mother tell such a huge lie??
Eventually life went on. My sister fell pregnant to our 1st cousin and ...
|Posted by tim at May 28, 2012|
Im an older guy, late 20's and as i sit here, im just filled with so much sadness, I cant explain the feeling but its like im all alone. I am all alone. I dont have alot of friends, no one calls me or txt me. I come home from work and i just sleep all day, get up the next day and repeat the cycle. At work i have to really fight not to break down. I just feel like iv lost so much. I guess it just comes from not feeling like im important to anyone. People that told me that they loved me and would be there for me left me. My best friend who i never thought would hurt me did. My family..there so far away i cant see them so i have no support. Its just me here. I had a thought the other day that maybe i really am going to die alone and it sucks to say that because i really am a great person. Im not bad looking at all, i treat everyone with respect, im a lovable guy. If the people i socialize with at work really knew how i felt theyd be shocked, because i put on a perfect front. Im just scared because i feel myself slipping into destructive behavior such as alcohol and drugs which ive started. I dont know where to find happiness. I pray to god but no one answers.
|Posted by anonymous at May 27, 2012|
My life is a complete mess. I search aimlessly for ways to redeem myself but fail miserably. It's unfortunate to accept that I can't think or function as normally as other people my can. After years of holding myself back from reaching my fullest potential I know that there is possibly no way that I can overcome the amount of anxiety if fill my head up with each waking day. I can't ever make the right decisions or have the right words to say even though I can't seem to make decent conversations at all. I have two of the most accomplished siblings who seem to have everything together. Being the middle child, I guess I always tried to stand out which has become my karma. I often question why I get up each morning just to toss and turn at night. Im truly just a lost soul who hasn't been living but only existing in a beautiful world. Eff it though. I hate that I've wasted two decades of people's time but I can honestly say I've tried my best to stand tall but fell short. I could list the tragic events I put myself through but its nothing anyone can do Anyone else feel this way? probably not to this extent but hey since there no such thing as time travel..ill just have to figure it out how to end it. I truly disappointed God. my family, friends, bf but most importantly myself and my name.
|Posted by susan B at May 27, 2012|
i know this shit sounds weird, but i wana die because life sucks balls,not my own but cauz others are in pain and they seem to have so little and they are gratful to what they have , while i lack certain things and am always cring and cutting myself to feel pain,am suffering, this is hell , and i mean it , at least peole know why they re depressed but i dont. Sometimes it seems like am deppressed cauz am fat and even though i lost weight i cant eat what i want just beacauz am born fat, evryone hates me ,every single person hates except my parents who sometimes mistreat me, no one is able to understand me!! why am i alive i wana die !! i cant take anymore, am so stuck, breathless, and in so much pain wanting to die so bad for no specific reason, just for the sake of death !! i know ths sounds bullshit that is how i feel
|Posted by alice at May 27, 2012|
My boyfriend watches porn contantly. I hate porn, I think it's gross. I don't understand how anyone could actually make those movies. Sometimes I resent the women he watches even though he insists he was like that before he met me and his addiction has nothing to do with me. I feel like I am second to his addiction. He has also asked me to have sex with him and another man on numerous occasions which I refuse to do. Other than sex, we get along ok which is why I stay with him. We agree on politics, religion, we like the same music and television. He also does help me with financial support and seems to care for my children who are grown and living on their own.
|Posted by ME at May 27, 2012|
I am 50, had shity childhood, mother died when i was young, 7 kinds left, all ended uo suffereing with drugs and alcohol, dad is a mess, well i escaped, joined the army, made CSM E/9 in 17 years, still married, 30 years, two children, girl and boy both college grads, I make over 200000 a year, and life sucks. Why, I suppose i live so others live and i have no freedom to be who I want to be without running into some conflicts with the job, wife, kids, my faith. I am always under some expectaion and it sucks. I will overcome and have a better day for sure, but nevertheless, life sucks for me. I just can't do what I want and sadly I don't know what that is as my life idefined by so many others. Take care everyone, and don't give up!!!
|Posted by anonymous at May 26, 2012|
Well it started when I was only 14 was in a car accident went to hospital over night was complaining about back pain the Dr never X-rayed my back & sent me home the next day with my drunk of a mother who was more interested in her drinking buddies than her daughters health. Anyway I thought the pain I had must be normal I'm not Dr so only going on the dr who supossely treated me. Anyway yea later & 2 kids & heaps of jobs later after the 5 th assault from my husband had MRI & cat scans done. Found out I actually broke my back when I was 14 & had no treatment for it aswell after last beating can't work no more cause of years of abuse. To top it off my own mother likes to track down my old workmates & tell that I have nothing wrong with me. Told my Dr this & he said can't fake.xrays. Then after doing family mediation with husband took him back but then cause I can't work he decided that he he couldn't hit me anymore so the other types of abuse started happening. Like depriving me of food, verbal abuse the list could go on, but to top it off now that I couldn't work with help from him. Oh nearly forgot he couldn't work for 3 years & I looked after him even wiping his ass cause he couldn't & looking after 2 young kids aswell as working when he couldn't cause that's what families are supposed to do.BUT NO ACCORDING TO HIM. The bastard decided after 20 years of me putting up with abuse cause had no other support he decided that he would cheat on me. The kids who are grown now ...
|Posted by anonymous at May 26, 2012|
My life sucks because I spend 99% of my time in this tiny room sitting behind a computer, every day is the same routine, check out drudgereport, ebaumsworld, theync.com, fap, find some movie to watch @ 1channel.ch, log on to pokerstars and splash some fake play chips around for a few hours, play online games like sugar and pirates of the stupid seas, im a sensitive person so i dont like being sworn at which happens a lot when i talk to my brother, my mom thinks i need to go on SSRI's which is rediculous like shes a fucking docor or something, perscribing something she knows nothing about, so at least once a week she tells me to get on drugs. lately i go on long walkls but only at night because I cant function outside during the day with so many people out because the anxiety is overwhelming, so i walk alone at night and come back and have horrible sleep in a tiny bed and i have to listen to my brother shouting and cursing while im trying to sleep and i dont have good hygeine or cleanliness my life is at a roadblock abd I hate it all the time and i suffer all the time from emotional pain and if you knew me you would understand just how bad i've made things for myself by saying litterally whatever sordid depraved shit came to mind i'd just blurt it out so im a freakshow...
|Posted by EhhYourRegularNobody at May 26, 2012|
Life is just a continual struggle for me.. its not even particularly my life. Its the fact that I have to be me. I completely and utterly despise myself. Everything about me. Its like I'm never good enough. My mother completely despises my father, and I'm the product of rape. My mom wishes that she had never had me, and had just got an abortion. She's told me so multiple times. She throws everything and anything she can get her hands on at me when shes angry. She's also hits me.. Ehh. Oh well. Its nothing I don't deserve. see, the thing is, I know I'm useless, and stupid, and ugly, and basically everything else shes ever said to me. So, I deserve everything that happens. I have no right to complain, so I shouldn't even be typing this, but it feels good to just get it off my chest.
|Posted by dont give a fuck at May 26, 2012|
my girlfriend dumped me a few months ago. we had been together for a couple years. i just had a job opportunity where we could finally move in together,however within the days after hearing of the job she told me that we should take a break. she wouldn't even do it in person it was all over the phone. i swear that i love her more than anything and dont understand how she could do this to me. literally in 24 hours our relationship went from being perfect to over. every single day gets worse. i have asked god or whoever the fuck is responsible for this world to take my life for the last 3 months. i want to die and would love to kill myself however i know that i do not have the balls to do so. i just want to get randomly hit by a car or a random bullet to come through my window right now and kill me. i dont have the balls to do it myself because i know the pain it would cause my family. i fucking hate god for the fact that i ask to die every single day and yet he/she/it lets children die horrible deaths all over the world. or that he lets people who want to live die instead of me. dont give me some bullshit god has a plan either. to many kids get raped tortured and ruthlessly murdered for that to be the case.
so life fucking sucks. i dont give a shit. i will just keep praying the my life be taken or that i get the guts to do it myself.
|Posted by anonymous at May 26, 2012|
I'm 27 years old, no kids, no lady and I'm miserable. My problem stems from my lack of having a great lady in my life. Ever since 5th grade, I knew I really wanted a special someone. Her name was Ros. I'm a black dude and she's a mix lady. I always felt I wasn't good enough or wasn't attractive in her eyes. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you know. Well I've moved on to other great ladies just to fail miserably. I say "great ladies" because of my respectful manners. But to be honest, they weren't great ladies. I've been raised to be a respectful man, honest, loving, understanding, patient, clean mouth, do-the-right-thing attitude type of guy. I don't blame the two ladies that damaged my heart the way that it is today. Their story is I was the first serious relationship they've ever been in with a guy. Both ladies stayed for 4 years each with me. The first lady was too immature and wound up getting pregnant by a dude who didn't want the kid. I felt good and bad because I felt like she got what she deserves but my other half felt that no one deserves negativity even after how she treated me. I wanted to marry her but now she's doing her own thing so that's good for me since I don't have to deal with someone else kid. My second lady is in the same category as the first lady. She didn't have any serious relationships with a guy before we met. I believe she started dating me only because she wanted to give something "new" a shot. She didn't date me for the right reasons;...