|Posted by James lopez at November 28, 2011|
My name is James Lopez I am 15 years old. My life so far has been nothing but a string of depressing events starting from the day I got into elementary school. As a child I always got into trouble but I went to a school where no matter how old you were it wasn't cute if you did something wrong and so since I was a child who frequently got into trouble my principle said to my face at the age of 5 I wasn't going to become a good person. I think she was right. I was never a smart or good looking person in school I was obese and got bullied for it all of my elementary years. And I wasn't a smart child either. My grades now and then were barely enough to get me to the next grade. Then came my middle school years in 6th grade the bullying only got worse about my weight so in 6th grade I decided to starve my self until I lost pounds eventually I got skinny and was a little bit more noticed by the general crowd. But I had no friends so I had to follow and things that I normally wouldn't in order to gain what I thought to be at the time as "friends". I got into fights, stole things from the school, and got suspended almost regularly. And my parents (bless their hearts) always tried to comfort me even though I did not want them to. I hated them for reasons I do not know I just did not want to be around them even though they just wanted to see me smile again. I got into a fight so bad that I was expelled from school and the kid who I fought filed charges against me and my parents h...
|Posted by Desperate Debbie at November 28, 2011|
I take care of my 87 year old Mom. Recently my husband suffered a broken leg now he is laid up for 13 weeks. We have 3 dogs I have to care for. Also I have a 13 year old son with Aspbergers syndrome. The other day after my son was dropped off to go skating I went to my shed which the house and all have been purchased by me. My older daughters were concerned for me. All I wanted to do was to go off and cry by myself.The door opens up and it's a cop. I had to go to the hospital which will cost around 2 grand and of course I was released because theres no crime in crying in your old damn shed. My daughters are grown and need to mind thier own damn business, Now I have completely dissolved my relationship with them LIFE SUCKS!
|Posted by sunz at November 28, 2011|
I suck at everything,I don't know what I'm best at,but i do know that i can be worst at everything.After my high school I didn't know what subjects i should take in university,last year.I wasted my fucking one whole year in order to realize that.I decided to get into best university in my country.I did it.I got admission this year in LAW department.I joined it.I don't even know what shit I'm going to study in it.I never had any extracurricular activities.I applied for community service society and media and arts society,but never get selected for these societies,just because I did not have experience in any such thing.I realllyy wanted to do extracurricular in this time,to know new things,but why the hell didn't they select me.I never felt confident because I never had good writing and speaking skills(probably because of my bad grooming).I can't even write an essay.I'm always scared of expressing my ideas.I think my English and grammar both are bad.I don't even know what is the right pace of a comma in a sentence structure.I have very few topics of discussion when I sit in a group.I never have good arguments.I don't even pray daily anymore,I feel like I'm a looser.I have started accepting that God does not like me.I have become a procrastinator,my room is never clean,my books are always scattered,I have gained weight,I don't look good like how i used to.It's been 2 months since my first year begun,but Im not enjoying it like my other peers are.I feel like my class fellows are better than me,sharp,witty and interesting.I want to break my bubble and open up and let others to penetrate in my bubble.I want to be what I am.But I don't even know who I am.Do I? :(
|Posted by ry at November 28, 2011|
i think im going to kill myself. i have nothing to live for. i have no talents, no hobbies, no true interest in anything. i have no major picked out. i'm only a year and a quarter in, but failed a lot of my classes. i'm stuck living at home with my parents with a shitty job. i cant afford to move out but i dont want to be here or at school. i dont own a car. i'm transgender and no one knows i'm a guy in a girls body. my life fucking sucks. no one is supportive of me.
i have no true friends. i fake my laughter and smiles so well that everyone believes it. i cry everyday. i'm really disgusting too. i'm single and never had a real relationship...i'm 21. i'm a complete virgin. i hate my voice...
everything i want to do i fail at or quit. i cant make up my mind or stand up for myself. my family is mean to me including my brothers. no one sees my struggle...they just call me a bitch. my dad is a sexist asshole who mentally abuses me and my mom all the time.
i have no hopes or dreams. my dreams are unrealistic. i'm close to shutting down. all i do is sleep. i hate school and work and i just want to sleep forever. i have nothing to live for. at all. im invisible.
|Posted by Mike at November 27, 2011|
I divorced last summer after 15 years of relationship and 10 months of marriage. Yes, finally we decided to get married, at least I was sure about it. I had my first episode of depression when we knew she was pregnant (13 years ago), I was 20 and she wanted to end our relationship. After many disagreements and many depression episodes we got married and just 10 months latter we decided to split due to frequent discussions. That was 3 years ago and last summer we signed the final divorce papers. Now I'm on my own and trapped in hell. Every morning I go to work, come home at 3 pm and lie on the couch until bedtime. I know, I have an episode of depression, so I went to visit a psychology but she did not say anything different from the last 12 specialists who I have visited in the past. I really want to die. Not even my son gives me the strength I need. I find no joy in my life, people around me do not really care for me and my family is very far from where I live, yet never call. I have no plans for the future and I have fear of being alone the rest of my life. I know it sounds stupid, but the thing is that I have zero social skills and every time I try to approach a girl I feel like the invisible man, they pay no attention to me and is not my imagination. If I have the opportunity to kill my self, well ....
|Posted by Torn Heart at November 27, 2011|
From Where shall i begin!!!!!!! when i was a child and my dad was away and when i broke my leg he refused to come and see me and i felt i was alone in the world....or when i found our that my sister has a boy friend with whom she travels every where and lies to mum and asked to lie for her which made me lose trust and faith in every one around....or when my uncle died when i was 17 and my dad prevented me from seeing my cousins as he feared they use me and i found out that the reason he didn't come to see me when i broke my leg as a child is that he feared hospitals and believed that when he visits someone in hospital this person dies.
Or when i first loved a person and thought that my happiness finally arrived, and then he left me with no reason
or when i became close to my dad to find out that he'll die of Cancer!!!! and my grieve on him got me a madical condition that makes it hard for me to be pregnant......
Or when i loved for the second time and i had to leave him as my brother didn't approve my marriage from him and my brother was more of my father and so i took the decision to give up love for family.
OR when i loved for the third time and lived the happiest moments of my life.....days and nights of happiness and laughters and then my family refused him as in their opinion he wasn't up to him and it was easier for them to see me cry for a full year day and night, than to accept my marriage from the man i loved and this is all he wasn't top schools ...
|Posted by anonymous at November 27, 2011|
Hey don't knOw if it will sound lonely or not but that is how I feel , Im 24 years old o have a good mom and dad and 2 brother we can afford every thing I have a car and my brother gave one all paid for with our parents that's nit thaw bad part is , the bad part is the way our parents raised us with was Fu*k*d up like we can't do any thing without there conscent on it they have to agree they have to be a part of it we became dependent on them mostly mom in that age , I ended up with mo friends all the way through school high school and even collage what we friends I made only wanted there own benefit and that's it they never carried some one wants a ride or borrow something and that it's and then when it's done they are gone. And never ha a relation ship well had only two and none was more than 3 month the first one ended by sorry I said I love you just not to upset you and second one your soo nice but you deserve better. Life been screwing with me for the last 15 years never had fun that lasted or happiness . What can I do I already lives more than half my life and I'm nothing no one call me or check on me even if I disappear for days even weeks no one remember me or care to ask where Iam so at this age I have no friends no girlfriend no life I'm the living dead imagine that what life would that be
|Posted by Chesty at November 27, 2011|
God definitely hates me. Without getting into to much detail, lost job, lost family, lost house, lost all savings. And the kicker is, all within a couple years. So now I turn to booze. I totally realize it's just to numb the pain, but since God won't help (even though I continue to pray every day), I have to turn to something. Keep thinking to myself something good will eventually happen, but it never does. In fact, things get worse almost every day. I just don't give shit any more. Suicidal thoughts occur daily, but the only thing keeping me from offing myself is my two beautiful girls. Oh well, thanks again God for giving a shit.
|Posted by Depressed mom at November 27, 2011|
I am a 40yrs of age. I was laid off from my job a little over a year ago. My unemployment has been exhausted. I have been searching for work like a stray dog in the streets. I am on the verge of losing my place because I have no income. I am a single parent with a 17yr old that is looking for work as well. I have no money,no food, hell my dog doesn't even have food at this time. I have never been in this situation before in my life. I feel like my life is slipping away. I am so depressed....I can't even go to the doctor for help. I have no insurance. My heart is so heavy right now and has been for a while. I am so at my wits ends with my life I sometimes I wish I didn't exist but I know that would not be fair to my son or my lovable dog. I feel like a horrible parent and have always prided myself on being a great mom. I have a very limited support system. No one really seems to give a crap anyway. My son's father is in prison for 8 to 40yrs. My son is depressed as well. I pray to God for a miracle. I know that no one can help me. My heart is aching so I don't know how to go on. Please pray for me and my family. I am scared....I don't want us to become homeless. I just don't know what else to do.
|Posted by TBone in Upstate NY at November 27, 2011|
After reading a few of the stories on here, I sympathize with everybody's plights and pray for them. I too am going thru my own bout of challenges in life.
I am a single white male, 41 years old, married once, but got out of the marriage because I felt it would never work. I been single for the last 10 years. I do not have dog, but a nice parakeet. I have a caring roommate and family that tries to help out as much as possible.
So basically this site is about people's misfortunes, so I figure I would start with the negatives and work my way into the positives. Basically, my life has been challenging thru most of my 41 years, born in 1970. Used to get bullied, had a car accident that nearly took my life in '79. Moved around 5 or 6 times from town to town, state to state. Went thru one career possibility after the next. Same goes with relationships and a few friendships. When I hit my 24th birthday I started playing with student loans, then progressed into Credit card debt, and then a car loan. Then I lost my job back in 1999 and a couple years later, not only did I went bankrupt, but also had my car repossed by the bank that gave me the loan.
I got a case of infidelity during my separation, but remained strong and managed to get out with my skin. I used up my federal student loan money for bills, and so at this point I am close to my Associates Degree at the school I attended, but cannot go any further. When good times came, I squandered those away with my old ...
|Posted by anonymous at November 27, 2011|
I look at people waiting for money, crying for people, and laughing at nothing. I think to myself and produce this pattern. And in this pattern I only see hell. When dreams are only of luxury, power, wealth, and neglect wisdom and reason I begin to think that I am alone with wanting only virtue and a roof over my head and the satisfaction of knowing I am healthy and free. With no one to share this with and love only being about money I begin to realize I don't belong in this silly world but perhaps in another time or another planet ( I feel like something out of a science fiction book ).
I look at people and soon begin to realize they are drawing me out to be something I am not. Then they assume; even though I explain clearly and they come to their own conclusions ( which is perfectly natural ) or is it. After awhile, I notice that people will wait to steal from you and turn your story into their own to satisfy their listener. Secrets will be unkempt.
There is always something more to talk about or TO NEGLECT THE FACTS. Even when I write this I feel/fear that it will only be looked at for/from an distance and not in detail. Its almost like having a hunger that is never filled. Adrenaline being your only friend, wanting to break on through the wall and hope to see a field of flowers and beautiful girl within them no matter her hair or attire that may be blowing in the wind. Hoping that no such world can go to ashes... but it does. The white dream is over.
|Posted by hurting38 at November 27, 2011|
well here my shitty life, ive been living with my girlfriend for 2 and half years, been together for 3, we had known eachother for 12, when i first met her, she was to young at the time, 16, i was 25, i told her to come back when she was 18, well i didnt see her for about 6 years, and we saw each other again by chance and from there the sparks flew, got serious, met the familys, my family loved her and she was head over heels in love with me, nows where the shit starts, about a year ago she was diagnosed with bipolar, and depression, oh such fun, but we where still ok for a little bit,then came the addiciton from the medicine they gave her, zanex among other things, and it got bad enough i told her to go to rehab or we where gonna be done, she said she didn want to lose me and she went, that was 26 days ago, BUT thats not the sad part it ges better, so im fully ready to go to the meetings and counsling and anything to make it better, we where miserable and unhappy with all the fighting and it was all because of the drugs, i just wanted her to be straight, she is a great girl,and i really love her. So i go to the first meeting 14 days in and she says she isnt coming back to the apt. because she is afraid to relapse, im like what the frig is this, i was one of the reasons you went, then she drops the bomb, she dosent want to be in a relationship during her recovery. AHH isnt that nice, LOL, then is continues to suck, after a week, and she still calls me from rehab still say...
|Posted by Franco at November 27, 2011|
My life sucks so bad that I am one step from killing my self. Well first off I should say that my parents own a pizza shop which you think would be good, but no it's only another reason for me being overweight. Second my dad is bi-polar and is abusive( physically and verbally) calling me faggot queer dickhead and hitting me even for the smallest of mistakes. That pizza shop is like a prison. My dad makes me work there everyday from end of school til 11:00pm( when there is no school I go in from 10:00am-11:00pm) for those who say just don't go, it's not that simple, my dad forces me to go by beating me till I can't talk. And this work I do is back breaking work. Since I can't leave that shop I have no friends at all, then when I complain about it my dad says its because I suck and I sm a stupid asshole and that I need to make friends. I am forced to be with my family all day every day. And my mom made enemies with all of my reletives( stupid bitch). I had friends who always used to ask me to hang out but after you have to turn a person down do much they just stop asking. Now I am moving away from my school and whatever little friends I have to a school closer to the shop so I work harder. I hate meeting new people so I'm not looking forward to that. If it wasn't for video games (that I get to play 45mineuts before sleep) I would have ended it all by know
|Posted by Mike at November 27, 2011|
well thers not much of a tale to tell iam a 24 old male with no relationship no girlfriend of any sort or anything close to a girlfriend i have a very negative family that seems to get comfort in seeing pain and disapointment of me i have not a friend in the world and anything i get close to suddenly leaves me.during a child my father was not around forced out of the house by my mother.dad moved far away and my mother told us kids he left us and hes not coming back my sister was hurt very much by this during my childhood my mother did not believe in affection it seemed like a contest on you could have the worst childhood but after one drunk boyfriend to another and more and more beatings i ssemed that i was hollowed out and hate and resentment filled me over my teenage years i was very shy in school and felt better just not being there.it was my lil relief from the world just being by myself i found more comfort in just working as hard as i could and getting told what a good job iwas doing so eventally i dropped out of school when i was 19 i left the house after a drunken night from my mother and her boyfriend i stood up for myself and the night ended with some stiches blood lose and me living in my car till i had a paycheck to get my first place soon after that i left my small town and moved to a bigger city and tried to work on my social skills but i failed at that iam a extremly shy person and have trouble talking with others and cant trust one person i dont know what to do theharder i work the more ifail and so tired of never catching a break i could be alone in a crowd full of people i feel like i dont exist at all.just wondering on how i could slip through all these years
|Posted by anonymous at November 26, 2011|
Physically my life does not suck, I have food, water, shelter and clothes, all the nessary things to survive an earthly life. But emotionally I don't feel happy, I have no true friends(that I know personally). I'm a bit of a misanthrope, I don't really like people. No I'm not a hateful person, just not social. I'm extremely shy, so at school(I'm seventeen) I don't speak much. For good reason, no one really cares to get to know me. I have long desired a romantic relationship, someone too love and who loves me back, but for reasons I know I can't have that. No I am not abusive, Im an extremely loving person, and I feel that that is going to waste, a shame, I could love better than all these abusive jerks who belittle their mates. But who the fuck would give me a chance? I'm short and not really charming.
I want to be social but everytime I try it goes back and back stabs me. So I just quit trying,
|Posted by anonymous at November 26, 2011|
My life sucks. And it's not even that bad!! My parents are never going to break up, I have the best dog in the world, we live in a nice house, and I don't have that many problems!
Now here is were my life starts to suck. A while ago we moved to a new town and its fine here, but my school sucked, I had no friends, this one kid I thought was a friend tried to choke me more then once, I even told the teacher, and the principle but they didn't do anything to stop it. I got piles of homework and I didn't get any leisure time except on Saturday's and sundays.
So my mom put me in home schooling and that was way better but I really procrastinate and I hardly get anything done. So my mom keeps getting mad at me for not doing it or helping her with chores. Also like a week ago my parents said that they were going to get rid of my dog because I don't take her for walks as much as I should so they are giving me a week to try harder before they give her away. The problem is I absolutely hate the outdoors so I am torn between going for half an hour walks every day or loosing my dog. I decided to go back into public school a month ago and that was a nightmare. All of the friends I had disagree with each other and I am stuck in the middle. Every time I went home I just wanted to kill myself. I have even gone so far as to push a knife into my chest until my chest bled and I chicken out.. This girl I used to know that I liked goes to my new school, and ...
|Posted by Samari (-.-) at November 26, 2011|
I wish i died. Someof you people might say your life isnt so bad but Fuc it! It is... i could tell you many things aout myself but i dont have the time. i Want to know whata normal family does. Hows breafast like TOGHETHER? hows lunch TOGHETHER? how dinner like T O G H E T H E R? My family fights every fucking day of my life. I even tried looking in the internet on how to kill yourself (commit suicide). Im tired of the name calling. The drama. I cANT EVEN BE A NORMAL 12 yr old girl. Tell me to get something do you have to wash dishes, WASH DISHES, W A S H D I S H E S! Gosh i went to church toda and prayed to god if i he could please kill me whe i fall asleep at night, just end my life. I know how people are sayin "oh your just a teenager, our suppose to act like that" BULLSHIT! are you guys alud to go over to your friends house? have them come over? sleepovers? birthday parties? even sports? I have a terrible life and i have to sta in m house allday with no exercise and yet my mom tells me to get a life.i have to do all that stuff behind their backs but quickly... but the thing is how can i get a life when im fucking stuk in this dungeon until i get to collage! My friends think im pretty much spoiled and i show off a bit and thats because my parents sort of spoil me and beliee it or not I HATE THAT! I HAVE MY BITCHII MOTHER, My anger issues dad, my ager issues fat ass big brother, my fat ass ugly two face bitch sister, and finally my VERY SPOILED brat, selfish little bor...
|Posted by anonymous at November 26, 2011|
in highschool I cut myself. I had an abusive, drug addicted, chauvinist, on and off boyfriend who I swear just wanted to torture me because it was fun. my best friend always told me I was too good for him, and I didn't listen until he'd already ruined my self esteem, and any hope of me finishing highschool and going to university like I'd always planned. my mom is the brightest part of my life and I'm glad I still have her because I really used to treat her like shit.
I finally let him go and it was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I thought I still loved him.
now I'm 21, have a dead end, call centre job that really isn't enough to support anyone. it took me almost a year to trust my boyfriend of 3 years, and he just broke up with me. we moved in together 2 years ago and in the six months, we bought a car together and signed up for a 3y cell phone contract - both in my name because his credit is terrible, but it was okay because we thought we would get married. I have no license, no way to get to work anymore (the busses don't run early enough and its more than an hour to walk), can't afford my apartment, and no way to get out of any of it.
I let my best friend drift away because we both found steady, stable relationships. its not that I don't still love her, I wasn't trying to use her. we just fell apart.
I'm afraid to tell my mom because she has a stress disorder and has enough on her plate.
I have nowhere to go but I can't stay here. I have no real friends because he was all I needed. I guess he needed more. :'(
|Posted by annie anacampserote at November 26, 2011|
I know some of youll say thats not that bad but i tell you anyway
i live in germany berlin
well i met this guy
And it was like love at first sight.
We knew us only for 4 days and started a relationship...i was totally in love with him i felt that i was just living for him.but even before i met him i had really hard depressions.and lotta suicidal thoughts. We were almost a year together and i knew i could tell him all my problems because he said that hed always be there to kiss my tears away.but that was all a lie. One day he broke up with me saying he lost his feelongs for me and he cant endure my endless complaining.
We can stay friends he said so i just rarely talked to him...than he told me to stay away because he needs a bit time.ive respected that and left him alone for months.but i couldnt get him outta my head.i was crying every night and one day i couldnt hold anymore and told him that im going to kill myself because ive missed him...he just ignored me.
I felt worthless that moment because i knew that i meant nothing to him NOTHING.
So i tried to die six times in a week.
But as you can see it all failed.so i got to a psychiatrie for 3 months and ive been cutting myself almost every week and endless consequences for that. For example i wasnt allowed to see my parents or leave my room.I ate in my bed the only thing i did was painting and crying...because ill never be with him anymore.
One day i thought ive lost all my feelongs for him but then i realized that i still need him.
And i do right now i miss him more than anything in the world but i mean nothing to him less then nothing
|Posted by LifeReallySeriouslySucks at November 26, 2011|
Every day I wake up between 3 and 5 am, with no reason. I tried everything I could : exercise, boring tv, couting sheeps, reading... It's been a month I'm suffering from this, and I really have a zombie face right now. Food has no taste, and I struggle to keep something in my stomach. Everyone's asking what's wrong with me, they think this is thoughtful but they only make it worse, and of course where I live, depression is a ghost disease. So yes, life really sucks