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LIFE SUCKS : Anxiety

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    [Tell Your Story]  "The pit" (fresh stories)

    Depressed, Anxious, Lonely, All of the Above...

    Posted by anonymous at April 3, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 April   Loneliness

    I am female & in my mid 20s. I already have a Bachelor's, but with no luck in the job front for over a year, I am back in School, taking prerequisites for a different career path. However, recently I have been dealing with severe anxiety and depression mixed in with hopelessness. Errands and chores people would normally find "easy" are now strenuous and anxiety-inducing for me.

    A lot of it is related to school stress (Social Anxiety, & Panic Disorder), mixed in with self-loathing, put-downs, and horrid body image issues (i.e. My weight, meaning I have struggled with being overweight most of my life so far, & have been gaining weight recently). I have started therapy, which seems to slowly help, & I have also seen a psychiatrist and I am contemplating medication, but I don't really want to go on an every-day med...I don't know, I suppose it's due to the stigma attached to daily meds, i.e. "Ohh, your crazy" or "You're stupid, you don't need that...it's worse for you then it is good." etc etc. I am trying to help myself, but sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself.

    I moved back in with my parents a half year after college, due to joblessness/no money, so that has been hard, as well. My mom recently has been telling me, "You can be this pretty again, and your face had a nice shape, too..." when showing me my high school senior year portrait. I was really (& am really defensive) about my weight, & she simply says, "Oh, I didn't mean it like that....

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    Comments: 15   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by anonymous at April 3, 2012
    Static LinkTags: Anxiety   2012 April   Sociopathy

    i used to have debilitating social anxiety resulting in depression. for years i was afraid to answer my cell phone, leave my house, or make eye contact with anyone. i felt guilty for hating my life since it wasn't that bad. but i sought help and overcame it. i haven't been depressed in two years. in fact, i've been quite happy. i thought my life was finally moving in the right direction.

    then i was diagnosed with tb. it's nothing serious. i'll get better. but for the past month and a half i've been under quarantine and being in the same fucking apartment every day for six weeks straight, not even having the option of leaving is starting to get to me. all the same familiar symptoms and starting to reappear, and i fear i'm headed exactly where i used to be. depressed, pathetic, and lonely. i know i don't have any friends (which is my own fault for being so damn unsocial), which has only been confirmed by two or three people checking in on me since i've been sick (all of whom completely forgot i was sick once they realized i had a contagious disease that could possibly put them at risk. essentially, screw you, what about me?). my parents love me, but they are on the other side of the country and can't visit me because i'm in quarantine. i feel terribly alone and i don't have anyone to blame but myself for being such a shitty friend. i feel guilty for having to disappear from work for what will probably be months, making all my coworkers take on extra shifts for me i...

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    Comments: 15   Votes:


     

    I can't really explain.

    Posted by Name? Samantha Nick Name? "Piece at April 2, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 April

    Where to start... I just cut myself again, I thought I was done with that. I'm 16 and my entire life has sucked. I had a great time back in 2009 but now its back to the same old shit. I'm depressed with anxiety and I'm forced to take a shit load of medication. My mother is an alcoholic and my father, who I adored, kicked me out over a year ago. I fell into drugs after that and it made life easier...

    Shit happened in my social life and it became too much for me to handle. I tried to kill myself as I felt so useless, unwanted, hated. I was caught just before becoming unconscious and dying. I willingly went into a crisis center program that lasts two weeks. I quit drugs by my own will during the program and because I was using that as a self-prescribed medication for my pain, my depression worsened.

    I started an anti-depressant that had bad side-affects and I reattempted suicide. Once again I failed and began cutting myself as a coping skill. I never returned to school due to anxiety and I started a cyber-school that I can graduate from in less then a year rather than in four. I focus on that.

    I have no friends left. I went from the most notorious and "popular" stoner to the most shit-talked girl in my high school in 3 days.

    I don't talk to anyone anymore, just my mother and her husband when I have to. I volunteer at the local animal shelter but unfortunately I can't live there.

    My mother is always miserable and loves taking her bu...

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    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    WHATS WRONG WITH ME???

    Posted by anonymous at April 1, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 April   Attitude   Sociopathy

    Where do i even start??...umm im 23 yrs old...i think i have social anxiety disorder maybee deprsion or i dont even know whats wrong w mee....i have never been diagnosed and i have never talked about it to anyone because im afraid of people thinking im crazy or they might think im weird or laugh at me.....IM NOT CRAZYY......i know im not crazyy i jst know there is something wrong with mee and i cant help it and i jst want it to stop!......if someone tells me something slightly mean i get super upset for the rest of the day....makes me feel like no one loves me or understands mee....like im worthless ugly fat...i have the lowest self asteem ..i fell like i cant achive any goals beacause im not smart enough....i try to avoid working because i feel that no one would want to hire someone like me ond or im afraid of failing.....i dont go to school for the same reason..i enrolled in college but quit because it seemed to hard for mee and gave a dumb excuse that it wast for me and i was still gonna think about what i wanted to do with my life when in fact i dont know what im gonna do with my life...tomorrow will be a year that i got married...and i have a 8 month old baby that i love with all my heart hes my world! but it kills mee inside that i dont see a point to my life.....ive always felt like it would be best for every one and it would jst solve everything if i jst died...eveyone would be much happier but now that im a mom it makes me more depressed that i still feel this w...

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    Comments: 11   Votes:


     

    hatelifesofuckingmuch!

    Posted by anonymous at March 27, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   Attitude   2012 March   Unemployment

    i'm a pretty good looking 20 year old girl, and i can't remember the last time i smiled, and it truely felt genuine. getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the morning. my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me today too, which just makes me feel more suicidal than i feel every single minute i breath. i gave hime everything, paid for evyerhthing, i was the best girlfriend...ok, sometimes i was crazy, but come on, i'm a girl, we are nuts. i can't find job, NOT EVEN WENDYS WOULD HIRE ME. i don't have a crimal record and i graduated high school, i went to college for a few semeters, AMD I STILL CANT FIND A FUCKING FULL TIME JOB. i'm considering stripping. i hate living at home with my parents. i have no car. all my friends hate me now for who i became when i was with my ex. i have no one. my exs cock was so big that it fucked my pu$$y up FOREVER, i was hoping to marry him so i wouldn't ever have to feel uncomfortable around someone else naked. i will NEVER have sex again. i sit home all day, 24/7 getting high, and when i can't afford a bag of maryjane, i'll huff paint just to ease my anixety and depression. sometimes i wish i had to courage to just jump in front of a train, or cut my wrists 'long ways' instead of 'side to side.' i'm to pu$$y to kill myself, so i'm just going to be this miserable person the rest of my life. thanks d.j.a, you FUCKED UP MY LIFE. he would make me beg for money outside of stores or threaten to leave me. he made me do it so much and in the town i live in, that i;m now known as the town crackhead, and i've never even smoked it before. he would force me to make so much money that it came down to me prostituting myself. i hate myself for that more than anything else. I'M AT THE LOWEST POINT OF MY LIFE, AND I CAN'T GET THE FUCK OUT OUT OF THIS FUNK! i just want to die.


    Comments: 12   Votes:


     

    Anxiety

    Posted by anonymous at March 24, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 March

    I dont really want to go into the details of my personal life. But for the past couple of years I have been experiencing a lot of OCD and anxiety. This anxiety has resulted in many panic attacks and stress in my life. Making it hard for me to be happy.

    1. I have constant fear of doing normal day things. Such as crossing the street.
    2. I am always checking things to make sure they are ok. And if I am unable to check this thing it will bother me for the rest of the day.
    3. I live in fear of contracting some sort of disease/giving someone a disease. Even though my doc has told me multiple times that I am healthy.
    4. I always think that something bad has happened to me but I dont remember it.
    5. I always think I smell bad which makes me not go near people. Even though all of my friends have told me multiple times that I dont.
    6. I always think people are starring at me. It makes me feel scared.

    The list goes on and on..... Every week I feel as if this anxiety is getting worse. I worry that one day i will be unable to function. I hope that someone out there can also share some of their anxiety problems. Because I know that I am not alone.


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    sucks ass

    Posted by rick ny at March 22, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 March

    My first panic attack ended me in the e.r i was haveing chest pain and symptoms of a heart attack i never felt this befor i was so scared and now as i write this im in the hospital because they think i had a heart attack and its scarry shit how do i deal qith these with out pills please please help me


    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    what is left?

    Posted by too-old-to-soar-like-an-eagle at March 22, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   Health   2012 March   Money   Relationship

    hmm..life sucks..sucks major. My life is so messed up I do not know where to start. Maybe quick brief about myself. I am 43year old male who is suffering depression and anxiety disorder. I am under medical care for past 4 years. I have separated with my wife of 7 years over a year ago..Thank God I did separate..otherwise i would probably kill myself long time ago. not that I do not think about it from time to time :(

    In past 3 years I have changed jobs 3 times, for various resons.. first I needed something more challenging, then I was let go due some office politcs and economy.. then my next job I lost because of my relationship problems.. now I hear gossips I may loose this job, again. That drives me to depression again. I need stability so bad.

    I started to date a nice lady about 8 months ago, but now my relationship is on rocky waters since my gf wants more commitment. I feel it is too early and I feel overwelmed. Beside that I have huge financial dept. For past 15 years I go up and down again with my finances, but I can never free myself from this financial burden. By my calculation it will take probably 6 more years before I will reduce my debt to the level whre I will be able to breath more freely.. Not sure how long it will take to completely pay it out. Belive me.. i was thinking about bunkrupcy too. I do not make much money, but not too little either..Enough to survive, but not enough to dream, enough for payments this month.. may not be en...

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    Comments: 2   Votes:


     

    anxiety

    Posted by yo at March 19, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 March

    I hate having severe anxiety I can't do anything to remedy it other then taking pills but taking pills makes me feel like a loser and I know it's not a long term solution. I stopped taking any pills or drinking alcohol 3 months ago... I workout, have a healthy diet I try hard to improve myself and my life anyway I can but the the anxiety I can't control I can maybe mask it for short periods of time but eventually it becomes obvious that I have issues and it's the reason i can't keep a job for more then 6 months. I have 2 kids now and am ashamed of who I am I am a bad example for them both their mothers left me and with good reason I was a fake a fraud and they eventually realized it. My kids will grow up and see what a loser pussy their Dad is. My parents were succesful in life they are ashamed of me even though they won't admit it they are such strong people I don't know why I am so weak and afraid why I have so much anxiety my parents aren't like this at all. I try to tell myself it's so silly just deal with it get over it but it doesn't work I tremble with fear I get panic attacks and people prey on this they smell my fear my anxiety my insecurity and torment me because I seem to be an easy target.


    Comments: 1   Votes:


     

    Where do I begin.......

    Posted by anonymous at March 17, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   Juvenile problems   2012 March   Sociopathy

    I have been diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression and ADD since I was 13 and I have been placed in various mental hospitals and treatment centers throughout my life. I'm only 18 and I've already spent more than a year and a half in total in "loony bin" and I'm sure I'm not even close to being done yet. I missed the experience of a normal high-school and I will never know what it's like to have been a regular teenager. I thought I could turn my life around when I was applying to college but I had no clue what I was doing and no one helping me including my parents. My parents are total assholes who went through a rough divorce and my Dad constantly used me and my sister to get at my mom, including filing a false police report the night before I took the SATs. I have no money and no future and no one helps me because people claim that I'm very intelligent and simply don't apply myself. I don't have a drivers license because I keep failing the permit test and no one gives a dam including my Aunt who happens to be in Governor's administration. I spend most of days playing video games and surfing the web because I'm too embarrassed to hang out with former friends who probably would think of me as a loser anyway. Any ideas about what to do ? Because I'm starting to run out.


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

    Lonely, Rejected, Sad, Depressed...

    Posted by Julia at March 16, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   Attitude   Loneliness   2012 March

    Okay, since I don't have anyone in my life to who I can tell this I am putting this up here, hoping that someone would read it. My name is not Julia, but I would like to hide my real ID. I am a girl, 18 years old, finishing high-school, love art.
    My childhood was very painful, I was always a black sheep, never fitting anywhere, always getting rejected because of my taste in music, my black clothes etc. I think people find me pretty, I have had a lot of boyfriends, one serious relationship and can tell I have some experience in that section. However, I suffer from low self-esteem and can't seem to find boyfriends anymore. I also cut myself, but I stopped about a year and a half ago. So, as I said, my childhood was painful, but i got through it somehow, especially with my mother's help. In spite of all the problems my father had been causing over the years (cheating, drinking, beating me up every night, yelling at mom because he's drunk and angry), she was there all the time. She was my shoulder to cry on. Than, I grew up a little bit, went to high-school, have no friends there. I had only one friend, a best friend for 12 years of my life. No one like her in the world. Till one day, 6 months ago, she gained new friends and left me when i most needed her. My grandmother was in the hospital, my uncle had serious heart problems, my brother abandoned me and went to States, never calls me... And the main problem - my mother, which I adore so much, got sick from brain cancer....

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    Comments: 31   Votes:


     

    Lonely

    Posted by Another day at March 14, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   Loneliness   2012 March   Sociopathy

    23 years old .havent completed univ in last year but feel like it's going down.I don't knw what I am going to do with my life as what I studying I have no passion for.I don't knw what my passion really is traveling .II feel hopeless an useless.I constantly feel nervous and anxious.People say ur Nothing and will never make any money if u don't have a university education.
    I feel lonely like no one understands me.The best time is when I go to bed at
    Night it takes me away from my sadness.I feel depressed
    I wish I could smile again and feel positive but I just don't know how to
    anymore.Every second day or so I feel like hanging myself from my shower head
    With my bed lininen or when I'm driving crashing into a wall.

    What am I doing here I feel useless.I feel like everyone is judging me and talking behind my back saying how useless .it's taking a toll on me emotionally I feel so empty inside.


    Comments: 8   Votes:


     

    sad life

    Posted by anonymous at March 13, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   Attitude   2012 March   Philosophical   Sociopathy

    I am a 27 year old female virgin, still living with my parents, I can't drive, and have never lived on my own, or been on holiday on my own. I have never had a boyfriend or dated any one, as I get older all I do is watch other people be happy with each other and wondering why I must be singled out as different, i can't talk to anyone about this as there is no one who will relate, to be told that I am attractive, good looking, it just leads me to thinking that I must be ugly on the inside to be repelling people away, guys stare but they don't approach, and I have tried to be more active in this, by striking up conversations first, smiling back, but I never know what to do beyond that stage and it never progresses to a phone call, I am an antisocial person by nature, so I am out of my comfort zone in this, although guys like to think women have the power in regards to sex, we really don't, society dictates that it is the man who should make the contact, as a woman you have to play games to get a guy to "chase" you, and you have to do it the right way: come on too soft and they won't get the message, come on too strong and they think you are desparate, I never realised trying to be happy was so hard. I am not defining my happiness on another person, but it is nice to atleast experience a moment with someone. To have someone, even for a short time, think that you are worth something.

    That's only one problem, which I guess could be related to a wider problem of gene...

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    Comments: 21   Votes:


     

    Another pathetic excuse for a human being

    Posted by Jess at March 11, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   Attitude   Family   Loneliness   2012 March

    I'm 28, married with a job and I have an above average intellect... You'd think I'd ve happy right? That's far from true. I used to hace friends, dreams, hopes, and aspirations but that is no longer the case. My husband and I work opposite schedules and only see each other on weekends, my family is close by but I am not the golden child and find that my brothers wants and needs are much more important to my mother than my own. My brother is a lazy p.o.s. that has never held down a job, is physically and verbally abusive to anyone that may upset him, he lives off the government and bleeds my parents dry. To make matters worse he knocked up some girl (also has a terrible temper and a part time job making min wage).

    I have no actual friends despite what it may say on FB.
    I find that I am alone 80% of the time and the other 20% is spent with my husband. Even when I am with my husband, family, ect I find that it is then that I feel most alone.

    I am depressed, anxiety ridden, and hardly sleep(even though that is all that I want to do). I only leave the house to work, grocery shop, and go to the reservation.

    What a pathetic excuse for a human being am I


    Comments: 10   Votes:


     

    untitled story

    Posted by anonymous at March 9, 2012
    Static LinkTags: Anxiety   2012 March   Sociopathy

    I'm 21 and I go to a really great school. The problem is that I have really bad depression and social anxiety, and my friends don't seem to get it. They boss me around, take advantage of my kindness and tell me that I am "toxic." Sometimes I can't help being sad. I try to hid it but its just who I am. So, basically I'm terribly lonely. Also, I'm perpetually single and can't seem to find anyone that wants to be with me or that I'd want to be with. Everytime I find a guy that I like, I try my hardest to pursue them but they either lead me on or are just plain uninterested. I'm not unattractive, in fact most of my friends think I'm very pretty. It sucks because I know I have a great personality, but when I'm around the opposite sex I clam up and literally cannot say anything witty or "cool." I've been skipping classes and sleeping alot. I'm worried about my mental health, I would transfer, but my grades aren't good enough. I don't know what to do, I'm at the end of my rope.


    Comments: 2   Votes:


     

    Sometimes I wonder if the fight is worth it...

    Posted by TiredinNYC at February 28, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 February

    It all started in August a few years ago, I was laying down, relaxing reading a book when I got my first major panic attack. At the time, I thought it was just a fluke or because I was hungry but it was the beginning of the end of my life as I knew it. Things became really hard. My mother (i was 21 at the time) urged me to ask our doctor for medication and I did which resulted in the worst experience of my life. I was in the ER 2 times that night and was utterly sick for 3 weeks after. I had a promising life. I had graduated college with honors and had many offers for jobs in the fashion industry. I tried to get my life back in order a year later and accepted a job at a prominent fashion house. I started out with a lot of steam but after a few weeks I felt the anxiety looming so I quit and became even worse of an agoraphobic than before. Then all of the obsessive thoughts began kicking in. scared of germs, scared to eat meat, scared to eat anything due to fear of contamination, health concerns etc. My list of friends began to dwindle as did my social life (I am lucky that my loyal boyfriend has stuck with me). Then I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to undergo surgery and the fear of possibly dying. My mother got lymphoma and my grandma and my dog died. My anxieties manifested into severe stomach problems which made me even more apprehensive about leaving the house. I started to really hate myself and still do. I feel like what is the sense in trying? I have tri...

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    Comments: 13   Votes:


     

    I don't know what, why, how, when, where. I just want to RECOVER!!

    Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 February

    Is it Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Is it depression? Is it Social Anxiety Disorder? Or is it that I just think too much?
    I donít know.

    Itís been more than a year when I am afraid of almost everything I do. Iíve become so self-conscious that I think what I do is always wrong and Iím giving people a reason to laugh at me. It wasnít the same a few years back. I did not experience such fear before like I do now. Now, I become afraid when I get up in the morning as to how my day will go in school- obviously bad, and then I think that I wonít do anything that would make people mock at me. Then I think what if my teachers scold me if I stand and roam around in the class or if I talk to my friends? Then I think that I canít play any game and if I go in the ground, people are going to laugh at me. Then I wish to go somewhere and hide from the cruel world. But this is not all. I fear for my grades in school which are gradually getting worse. I fear thinking if I would lose my friends, if they would stop talking to me, if my parents stop talking to me, or go away from me. I want to learn sports and play, but I canít because of the fear of being mocked at. I have bad mood swings. Sometimes Iím happy and cheerful and happy for no reason. But at the other times, I donít want to talk to anyone; I donít want anyone around me. I donít like if my parents come to my room and talk to me, or if a friend calls me. I feel like closing my door, putting a lock, and throwing my cell p...

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    Comments: 3   Votes:


     

    Anxiety and Stress

    Posted by chris at February 26, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 February   Health

    I'm Chris. In 2010 I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder/Parvasive Developmental Disorder. I've got three best friends every day at school im in grade 8 they make me happy. :). I'm sure as of November 2011 that I have anxiety. It is definitely not as bad as it was last year. It only seemed to have started as winter came in. I never feel this depressed in summer. I'm anxious about Carbon Monoxide in school and this term it gradually affected my marks. I run a minecraft server that causes me a tiny bit more of responsibility needs etc. But here's my past life.....

    I never had a father, he left. My mother dated 2 men who were not nice to her. They got into fights and it seemed endless! Up to 2008, everything became more happier for me. I'm very religious and I'm always afraid of going to hell.
    Here's another little story that caused me stress.

    Me and my friends applied to a high school. We had to do an entrance test. Unfortunately I failed it and was not accepted. My two other best friends were accepted and I wish with all my heart that all four of us could go. In the same position as me, my friend Mohammed. He was not accepted but yet he seemed to be the most academically successful. I cried for 2 hours about this. I learned the news of my non-acceptance at 11:30AM and I had to leave school because I was too sick to function properly after everything that happened to me. I waited so long for those results! I'm getting worried about 2012 end of the world theories etc. Now I have a wonderful life everything cleared up now but just a few obstacles in the way which will be overcame soon.

    I know there are many other people with other problems but I feel upset as well. Sometimes I read other's life stories here. Please feel free to comment below.
    -chris (and that's my story) but there's more which would take a while to write. Maybe ill write later.


    Comments: 5   Votes:


     

    No one gets it

    Posted by Harvey at February 19, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 February   Sociopathy

    I doubt anyone will read this or really care but it's all getting too much now. I'm 20 and in uni, I should be having the time of my life but i'm not. I have a few close friends but it doesn't feel like they understand, they nod and agree when I tell them i'm down or i'm having a tough time but it feels like they just see me as another "dramatic teenager". The truth is everyday is a struggle, I have social anxiety and depression, I really struggle with anything social out of my comfort zone, I prefer my own company but even that gets me down.

    I just don't understand that if this is our only shot in life why would it be this hard?


    Comments: 17   Votes:


     

    Anxiety is ruining my life

    Posted by fakesmiles at February 19, 2012
    Tags: Anxiety   2012 February

    I can't go to the mall, I've been off work because I couldn't handle it.. I've had anxiety for years.. But now it's like every attack is just worse, and worse. I'm going to go insane. Waiting for new meds to work.. they make me sooooo tired... :(


    Comments: 7   Votes:


     

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