|Posted by MT at March 10, 2012|
where do I start ever since I can remember I wondered why my Dad treated me like he did, with no love and different from my Siblings when I was 14 my mother picked up the Phone and was having an Argument with him about something I heard my name mentioned and picked up the other line then I heard it im not helping him as he is no son of mine , and it the all made sense why I was treated this way , have no Idea why he thought this so Basically I felt like a Bastard child , after this I had an Operation to put a testicle back down from my stomach to my Scrotum somehow someone from school found out about this and my life at school became a living hell I was quite a small child and for a boy I guess too Pretty , the bullying was intense to the point of Sexual Assault was stripped down at Physical education by bullies and they bascically physically tried to see if I had two Nuts they would also do this in hallways and common areas even some evil Girls got in on the act , I never really got any councelling for this and its affected me all my life , I have always been a good kind person to everyone and treated everyone equally , I have had many girlfriends but never really been able to commit fully because of the feelings I have of my Identity in this world I eventually met a Lovely girl who I adored she eventually got pregnant and but we lost the child late in the pregnancy, she left me to return home to her family and I didnt follow I have never made the right life choices I e...
|Posted by Courtney369 at March 6, 2012|
I'm 26 and stuck scared inside my home. I was molested so much during my childhood that i couldn't speak very well from the stress of it all. To this day I want so bad to smile at someone or tell a stranger hello but I'm so terrified of men I think they want to hit or molest me again so i never stay out for long. I want so bad to be in a relationship or have someone hug me. The bad thing is that im really attractive so people have told me and it only confuses me more. I would give anything to be with a good man and to show him how much I love him for being with me but it won't happen in my life time so I will most likely have to learn to love my own lonliness.
|Posted by anonymous at March 3, 2012|
Hey, my name is Alana. I'm 21 years old, and I wish I was dead, because it is easier then living. I was an orphan. I have no idea who my parents are, but I do know that my mother was 16 when she had me and she gave me up to an orphanage. Well, at least she didn't abort me, but maybe that would've been better. I lived in the orphanage until I was 13 years old, when a couple decided to adopt me. It was hard, because most people don't adopt the older kids, but they finally did. It turns out, this couple was actually involved in child pornography and a ring of sexual abuse and illegal prostitution. Of course, I was forced into it almost every night. If I didn't satisfy at least four customers a night, I wasn't given dinner and I was beaten. During the days I had to still attend school, but my teachers would scold me for never completing homework and assignments. I tried to tell them about my situation at home, and I tried to get help but I was afraid to tell anyone. When I turned 16 I ran away from the house, and I lived on the street for about a year, when I met a young man who I thought I loved. But who the hell am I kidding, I don't know what love even means. At 16 I moved in with this man, who was about 25 at the time, I guess. I didn't really know him, but I assured myself that it was a better option than living homeless. This man was good to me at first, and I thought my life was looking up. We had sexual relations, but I could never enjoy them being scared from befor...
|Posted by Time to Confess at February 27, 2012|
When i was born i was bron to unloving parents. They both had issus with drinking and drugs. My mother was physco! She tried killing me more than once when i was in her stomcah. She tried shoving carrots up her vajayjay to try to kill me. She was mental!!! I ahte her to this day!!
When i was 3 my parents got a divorce. My dad married this really nice lady who hated children even though she had two of her own apprently she just hated me and my sister. My mother got full custody of theo both of us. My mother remarried too. The guy had a son. They both sexually abused me when i was 7. They continuously abused me untill i was 13. When i was thirteen i got pregnant. I finally told my mother about this. All she cared about was that her husband and stepson were ok and that i wasnt goin got tell anyone about this..
My mom decided for me to keep the baby. She didnt want to draw attention to myself because apprently to her i wasnt the prettiest. I f i was so dam pretty why was her husband banging me?? I was kept from school, my freinds, my actaul life that i loved unitl the baby was born.
After the baby was born my mother started saying it was hers. I decided to try to tell someine abpout wat had happened because i was tired of lying. My mother found out and started to tell people that i was clinically depressed.
I tried killing myself later when i was 15. When i didnt succeed i ran away. dropped out of school. i ran from lakewood colorado to...
|Posted by anon at February 26, 2012|
Ive been raped and beaten in fostercare
moved in with my mom again, she beat the fuck out of my sister and I.
Went to a mental institution, suicidal, cutting, ED.
PTSD out the ass. Flash backs that put me into panic attacks regularly.
You people say your lives suck when you dont get a damn Ipod. Go choke on your own stupdity and walk a mile in anothers shoes.
|Posted by Mustapha at February 24, 2012|
I'm worthless. As long as I remember, I had nothing to live for. My old man even told me himself that I was a mistake, I wasn't planned. I was molested at the age of 5 by a prostitute that my father brought home with him. I was a fat kid throughout my childhood and teenage life. In fact I havent completely lost the entire weight. I never had friends and I was an emotional eater. Food became sanction agains the outside world. I never cared much for the ideals, Values, thoughts of other people. I was such an innocent young boy. But life wouldn't have it that way for long. Through years of systematic child abuse and negligence I've grown hateful and cynical. Until now. I'm 20 of age and I could care less if the entire world were to be engulfed in flames. In fact, I think I would love to set it afire myself. I hate everyone and everything. I have no friends, No family and no future. Im flunking in college as well. Cant't say that matters much now anyways. I dont intent to live very long. I'm still a virgin by the way and I never had a proper girlfriend or companion. The first woman that showed any interest in my life crushed my heart and left me bleeding at the sides. The second woman which also showed minute interest in my worthless existence just made out with another guy and completely crushed any hopes that we would be together. There...The grand scheme of my romantic life. The only 2 women in my entire life have completely destroyed my soul. That is to say, What's left o...
|Posted by anonymous at February 23, 2012|
I sent my mom to prison for child abuse when I was 12 years old. My mom was kind of a fucked up lady when I was a kid. (I'm 30 years old now). My mom was in prison for 7 years. They diagnosed her as bipolar.
She never did any lasting damage. She slapped me a bunch of times, but nothing left a mark. She would do really crazy shit though. One time in third grade, the teacher said I had said this word that meant bastard. The word was gotsen, gotson, fucking I don't know! It was something that sounded like that, and I swear I didn't say it. Here I am trying to think really fucking hard about what happened that day in the 3rd grade, and I can't even think of what word I was accused of saying. I tried googling it, too. No luck. But the teacher said I said it, that mysterious word. I think it started with g and ended with n... maybe. My 3rd grade teacher confronted me about it, and at 7 years old had no god damn idea. I remember having no idea, and there I was with casts on both legs because my Achilles tendons were too short, explaining prefixes and suffixes to my teacher before I even knew what those affixes were about. I reasoned how maybe my voice had mixed with another student's voice and somehow this word that I can't currently even google the definition of got misinterpreted but heard by the teacher. I was innocent and just trying to prove myself innocent, regardless of the rules of grammar, regardless of punctuation, and regardless of whether ...
|Posted by anonymous at February 23, 2012|
I never met my father. I have his name but don't even know what he looks like. He left before I was born.
I was molested from ages five to seven by two of my older cousins. I remember thinking that one had peed in my mouth one time. Of course now that I'm older, I know what really happened.
I reached out for help but never got any. I guess I chose cowards. I remember praying to God and crying myself to sleep every night. Praying that things would change. They didn't though. This is how I discovered there was no God when I was six.
When I was 11 I told my step dad that I wanted to be molested. That I wanted him to molest me. Though he didn't, he didn't do anything to help me. I told my teacher what had happened with my cousins. I was really depressed and lonely and I felt really bad because I thought I was gay. She was going to let me see the school counselor. I told my mom but she told me that my cousins could get in trouble and I should tell the teacher never mind. I stopped reaching out after that.
I spent middle school and high school and up till the age of 23 completely alone other than my "family". I've never been to a party. I've never been to a bar or club. I've never gone out on the weekend with friends. I've never had a birthday party or done anything for New Year's.
My first suicide attempt was at 21. I dropped school and work. I was so deeply depressed that I stopped leaving the house for a year. I eventually got st...
|Posted by anonymous at February 23, 2012|
My life has always been a living hell, my childhood was horrible, and I can't remember one happy memory from it at all, I was always chubby so in school I was bullied and traumatized, every, single, day. School was HELL, pure hell.
Until I dropped out at the age of 14 because I couldn't handle it anymore. At home I had 3 older brothers who always bullied me growing up, a father who didn't think girls should go fishing with him and my brothers every night, I was suppossed to stay home and do chores. I had no friends, not one. At age 14 my oldest brother produced a child, then went to prison for drugs, and his flake of a gf left the child with my parents. Well, my mom had to work, and my father had more "important" stuff to do than to raise another child, so guess who got to be the "babysitter"?. More like a mother, I had to take care of her every single day, and play the role of a mother, and housekeeper, at age 14, until I was 21 and finally moved out, My teenage years waisted raising my brothers kid, playing mom and housekeeper, and chatting on the internet with my "only friends". In which one hellacious online dating relationship with a married man scarred me for life. So there I was, an emotionaly fucked up, 300lb teenager, diagnosed with depression and bi-polar, and social anxiety disorder, alone, no friends, parents didn't want me, raising someone elses kid, God hated me, I was sure of it. fast forward a few years and now I am married to a man who is 20yrs older t...
|Posted by anonymous at February 22, 2012|
My life isnt the worst there is not by far both my parents are alive for the time being and atleast there's that.
But my life hasn't been a cakewalk. In my 18 years I've been through more than most people in their 30's have been through. I had a decent life as a kid my parents were together until I was about six or so. They faught every day I could remember then they got divorced. My mom left and my dad got full custody. My brother and sister both older than me got the things that they needed taken care of done for them while I was ignored. About the age of 10 my dad hooked up with a gold digging bitch who managed to get him to put her up in the house next door put her through 2 years of college pay for her 2 bastard children and buy her a brand new jeep a while putting him in crippling debt. Half the time I would be forgotten while everyone else (the gold digger her kids my dad brother and sister) would go out and do whatever it was they were going to do. I had my friends so I got along alright I went fishing alot whenever my friends weren't around I basically became a loner. The gold digger would blame me for things I didn't do my dad would believe her and I would get grounded while her kids did whatever the he'll they wanted they would steal my stuff and break it (and blame me).
Around the age of 12 the gold digger moved away. About 6 moths later I started smoking cigarets it was my own little escape from the bullshit goin on around me. I started smoking pot...
|Posted by Randy at February 17, 2012|
I am a 19 year old college student, i was raised with a murderer for a father and a pretty good mother i amthankful for that.When i was young i was yelled at till i cryed i feel as this was a big problem with me, my father is a poor man addicted to cocaince and marijuana, he lives in a trailer, the roof was blown off in a hurricane, or atleat the second roof so now when it rains, he puts buckets out to catch the water, he would rather spend his money on drugs then fix it.I used to love the rto c it rain, now i feal sad because i know my father is on bucket padrol. He has murdered plp, i havent ever seen this but my mother has told me. when i was young i was tricked into masturbating a man off, at such a young age i had no idea what i was doing, even tho it wasnt like i got but fucked it still hurts i got taken advantage of. My mother eventually got a divorce from my father aftertons of abuse, like hitting and kicking, one night he attemped to murder her, by cutting her neck open. I know all these things about my father but i still love him,sometimes i hope he would die just so i dont have to worry about him anymore.As i entered turned 2 i started experimenting with lots of drugs, i smoked marijuana for 6 years straight, i did lots of cocaine, one time i stole 600 dollors from my mom just to by a oz off cocaine. I mainly blame my depression on extascy i have done at least 300 pilss of x in my life time, some times i felt like dieing after words , and honestly i would have ...
|Posted by Robert Louis at February 14, 2012|
I was born in a women's correctional facility and immediately put up for adoption. I never met my dad or any of my real family members really. I got molested by one of my foster dad almost every day until I was 15. I tried telling cps but they never believed me and he would beat me once he found out that I told on him so I stopped after the 2nd attempt. I feel like maybe it was my fault though, like maybe if I wasn't so quiet and weird he wouldn't feel the need to mess with me. He's all I had though, so we grew close in a really weird way. I never had friends, ever. I had some myspace friends but they deleted me once they realized that they didn't actually know me. I ran away from home when I was 15 because I was tired and wanted to start fresh, plus I was failing high school and got bullied to a point where I thought of suicide on the regular. No one would even notice or care. I haven't seen my foster dad since then nor do I care to. I hope he's dead. I'm homeless now but I've been applying to different fast food places because I want to be able to have money and spend it on stuff like clothes and food. But until then, they're just pipe dreams. Sometimes I want to start doing drugs or something to get my mind off of things, but I can't even fucking afford to be an addict. all of my food is either found, free, or stolen. I want my life to be better than this. Please God. PLEASEEEEE.
|Posted by FirstVictim at February 3, 2012|
Hello. My life sucks. I cry almost every day.
Here's the story of my life:
My parents have been divorced since I was born.
My mom has abused me physically and mentally since i was a child. I've never been beat up "too badly." but she'd throw punches at me, sometimes it's just because I look like my father. my dad doesn't love me. he told me he didn't when i was a child and that he just wanted my custody to get back at my mom. ( he cheated on my mom )
my step sister would try to get me in trouble as a child and I'd get beat up for the lies she'd tell. i was the fat kid in elementary school and high school... and i still kinda am, even though i don't think im fat. i don't even have a double chin. im just a size 10 or 12.
i haven't had a real best friend until i turned 16. and still i sometimes feel sad because i can't talk to anyone about my problems because they don't know how to react. nobody shows me they love me until im gone.
ive been molested by my step father when he was drunk. my mom doesnt believe me when i told her he did.
i wanted to kill myself sophomore year in high school but stopped myself and ended up being sent to the hospital.
i've always been bullied and made fun of. i haven't been complimented much, ever. it's so easy to pick on me.
i was sexually assaulted last week in my dorm by a random guy because my roommate left the door unlocked.
i had my first love when i turned 18 last july and ...
|Posted by anonymous at February 1, 2012|
I'm 26, I Was abandoned when I was 5. The only family I had was my younger brother and my older sister, They were near the same age as I was at the point. through the time that this happened my sister was sexually raped and my brother ended up going to a foster home while me and my sister were still on the streets, I felt like he abandoned us, I haven't talked to my brother ever sense. My sister ended up taking care of me and the ways she would make money she would sell her body to older men for a certain amount of cash, at this time she was 8 and I was 5. She wanted to raise enough money to get me a birthday gift because I never had one. My birthday came along and she gave me a new pillow and a blanket, which today I still have those objects. After I turned 11 my sister started to go to school, we lived under a bridge for most of our life. Because she was getting educated she decided I should be as well. I just remember everyone laughing at me on how I didn't have cool shoes, that my shirt smelled, and how I was in general a piece of shit. After the first few days of school, I was really depressed and I met a friend, he was wealthier at that time, and He treated me with respect. I remember him asking if he can come to my house, I didn't know what to say because I was afraid if I told him where I lived he would stop being my friend. By the time I turned 13 (6 Grade) I made a decision to try and change my life, I started going after school to get help and go to the los...
|Posted by anonymous at January 25, 2012|
I am a 34 year old woman. I was born to a pair of narcissistic drug addicts in Denver Colorado. From the age of two upwards, my father and mother drugged me with valium, made me drink wine, or take Nyquil so I would be asleep most of the time, so they could party. At five, my parents went to Las Vegas and left me with my grandparents, where my 13 yr old uncle molested me daily for a while...how long I don't know. Until "Mom" and "dad" came back. My father started to beat me when I began school. He only used a belt but regularly whipped me for small things like a sad face on the paper I brought home, and I mean in first grade. I was a terrible student, I seems to be slower than everyone else, so I was whipped often.
We moved away from the USA and came to Canada in '84. By the time I was in fifth grade it was apparent I was a loser and was bullied relentlessly. At the age of eleven my father ran off with a 24 yr old woman, and left me with my mother, whom 3 years later sent me back to the US for a "summer vacation" and called me on the phone one day to tell me I would not be coming back to her, she did not want me, she had met a man who did not want a kid around.
I came back to Canada to live with my father and Stepmother (the 24 year old by then nearly 30)and by then my father had become an alcoholic. He regularly got into violent fights with the stepmother. He was often seen in our neighborhood, blind drunk, violent and under arrest. This led to me getting beat ...
|Posted by markm883 at January 16, 2012|
I was born resenting my parents and other relatives. I hated my parents for letting all their children be subjected (including myself) to corporal punishment by my grand mother. Both my mom and dad are either clueless or too passive to protect us children from the cruelty of our grandmother and uncle.
Now just to escape the crazy home environment, as soon as i finished college i got married even to a girl that i don't really like. needless to say that marriage ended in divorce.
Seeking a better life i thought marrying again would be fun, so I married somebody I met in the internet. So far what happened next is worst than the first wife. Since I got remarried, I became delinquent in paying my credit cards, got charged with domestic violence, quit my job, became a stay at home dad, got high blood pressure, and became really really resentful of my current wife.
Now at age 39 i can feel I'm on my last chance of seeking joy and happiness.
Where can it be? Should I just divorce my 2nd wife and start anew?
|Posted by anonymous at January 10, 2012|
when i was 8 years old my mom left for drugs....meth and ect.. then when i was twelve my dad got colon cancer...he deied when i was 14...i wached my dad slowly go in pain every day while goin from doctor to doctor and hospital to hospital.and every time was a rejection...he passed away two days after christmas. then i was adopted and taken in to a creppy house... they feed me good but just a creepy couple...then i started to get close to my uncle...for two years passing almost every weekend i went to his house...all of the sudden he raped me.. i tried to get contact with my mom and i found out she died 3 years after she left, and i still dont know how she died.. now i still live with the creeppy people who play mind games all day... oh well ..thats life
|Posted by anonymous at January 10, 2012|
Hello to anyone who may be reading this,
I don't know where and how to begin, but allow me this moment to build up to my "frustrations" as I write along. And as you begin reading, please do not feel the need to continue on for I write solely to express my feelings and none other. I hope that I am able to commit as much of myself to this as I possibly could. Also, please note that I’m really not going to bother with my grammar as much so please don’t be judgmental.
I am twenty four years old. I am Asian but naturalized as a U.S. citizen sometime ago. I am currently trying to look for a job that I can actually do and perhaps enjoy. The problem of course is that I don't have a job experience here in the States so it's very difficult to find one. I'm only a high school graduate so I can't expect to find any job because I practically know nothing.
I've had a rough childhood growing up in the Philippines. I don't know my biological father and my biological mother died when I was eleven. I always feared and hated her though, since she was pretty rough on me (emotional, mental, and physical abuses). Then I lived with my grandparents and I went through a whole lot of intense manual, physical labour, from eleven to the age of sixteen. I thought life before was tough but this time I knew what it meant when people say “life is hell.” I’d experience almost every form of physical, mental, and emotional abuses possible (without physically dyin...
|Posted by jackkkkkkkblack at January 7, 2012|
hi, my life sucks.
it really does.
A bit about me:
i live in a sharehouse with 3 other guys. i work in IT for a business. i am bald and have bad teeth.
my friends are shit. i am pretty sure they all hate me, but i dunno. i see them quiet often so its okay.
i have never had a girlfriend.. ever. do you know how shit that is?..
My major issue are commitment issues.. This all started when my dad terrorized me as a kid so now i can not look into someones eyes without crying. Its fucked. His manipulation from an early age has fucked my life. My mum also used to manipulate me.. My parents split up when i was about 8, which would of been fine but the divorce went for 10 years!
WHO THE FUCK HAS A 10 YEAR DIVORCE. WHO DOES THAT?
The divorce is what fucked my life i think. all i remember when i was growing up was having to choose where i wanted to live, at mums or dads. Mum said she wanted me but i think she just wanted me to get back at dad.. and dad said he wanted to but he just wanted me for the government money (he told me this straight up once.. (GOOD THING TO SAY TO A 12 YEAR OLD DAD))
My brother molested me when i was 12 - 13. only a few times but i have only had flashbacks of the memory recently. its kinda fucked.
Most days i dont even want to leave my room. Just want to stay in here and get motherfucking baked. nuff said.
|Posted by Jerry at January 4, 2012|
I was born in 1957 in a family of 6 children and I was the 5th. My mother at the time of my birth had hepititis A which caused me to be a slow learner. My father was a controlling man to my mother and just didn't allow anything to happen unless he approved it. He was abusive to all his children espically me when it came to dicipline. I wasn't a good looking child, I was sickly and skinny. I had a skin disease. My brothers and sister wanted nothing to do with me. In fact they grew mean towards me by tieing me to a bed or locking me in a closet. I never had any type of tallents or skills. In 2nd grade I was whipped by my teacher every day or every other day but I never told my parents because I was afraid I would get whipped even harder at home. In my teen years there were three of the children still at home. My father favored my lttle brother and my mother favored my older sister. I didn't fit in to their life so I was pretty much on my own with out anyone to talk to. a young teen boy needs to know thing s like not taking drugs or having sex before marriage. What I learned I learned on my own from others in some cases when it was to late. When I left home I was totally unprepaired for the world. I sufffered financial debts and more sickness and had no idea what I was doing. Once again what I learned I had to learn the hard way when it was to late. All this time I prayed to God for the answers but no answers came. I ask God why would you put me on this earth knowing all it would be is hurt and failure. Had I not been born there would be no heaven or hell, just non-exsistance. I think I am cursed by God and this is the best it will ever be. Just preperation for hell. I Have no choice.