| | Posted by anonymous at April 26, 2012 |
When I was a kid, I used to get my ass whooped from sun down to sun up. My family didn't have much noney, and we was all living in a 2 bedroom house and and my parents had 6 kids including myself. My dad barely kept a job because all he did was drink a lot and always end up losing a job because he would go to work drunk. My mom had a job working cleaning at other people's houses because due to her not finishing high school and didn't get a diploma, she couldn't get hired anywhere else. Now I'm all grown up and away from the people I called mom and dad, I'm pretty much had followed into their foot steps of not being shit and a loser. I have three kids that gets on my last nerves and can barely, just like my parents can support my own now. Its hard getting a job, a man that will stay around, and not fuck me more than he can look at me. Living in a small apartment with expensive rent, sometimes never have any power on, no money, and this is a gun to my temple. I'm about to call child welfare on myself because I can't support these little assholes, maybe if I shouldn't of had kids I would been in this hell mess and I would have a boyfriend that will actually stay around. No one here cant judge me, because reading some of the stories here you are not the one to judge, we all have shitty lives. |
| | Posted by Nino at April 24, 2012 |
I'm thirty one living with my parents ever since. No job .depresion I don't remember the lastday I felt happy or good ab out my self. Eighty perrcent of my face is covered with deep acne scars iheve a really big nose big ears I don't have many friends whenever I do go I'm the one sitting by himself or in the darkest place so that people cafn't look at my face I do try to hide with some cream s but as soon as it gets hot or I start to sweat it begins to drip down and seems like I'm wearing some kind of make up I had been laught at so many times sometimes I wonder how woild it feel to be normal lookin its strange I've. Never ever shared how I feel with anyone hope ican relate to other people so I don't. Feel so alone thank u everyone |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 23, 2012 |
I am 35 years old. I never had a paying job, don't have an education besides high school, and have been diagnosed as mentaly disabled thoughout my whole life. My dad was verbaly abusive to me calling me abnormal and such. I never had any close friends in school, and I had more people making fun of me than caring. I've had clinical depression for decades now and even with powerful medication, dosen't seem to be going away. I try to go out and take walks, but it only solves it temporarly.
I am worried about losing my apartment because I have trouble keeping it clean and they do inspections of the unit every month. There is soot from deisel trucks that comes into my apartment which just adds to the misery. I feel like my life is stagnated (no job) and it feels like it's going to go to hell at any minute. There is another inspection comming up, and I feel my apartment is no where clean enough to deal with it. I've always had problems with cleaning and it seems like it has gotten to the point where it is just too overwhelming. Thankfuly, there is not much clutter, but it's stuff like stains on the wall, stuff like that.
I've been praying to God for the past month to please end my life. I don't want to commit suicide (fears of hell+scared to do it), but I don't want to go on anymore, at least not like this. I've been thinking of saying "f-it" and going to Philadelphia, and staying in a homeless shelter there, starting fresh and maybe getting my life back on track but I really don't know what to do anymore. |
| | Posted by Sikander at April 23, 2012 |
I am 26 jobless, dont have a girl friend ,live vid my parents who support me financially. I have failed at almost everything i have tried through out my life and left my studies in bw as well. My mother loves me like anething ,few days ago i had an arguement vid my father , when my mother intervened i got violent vid her i hit her and pulled her hairs and she started crying, i know i vl burn in hell for eternity, i hate myself for what i did to my mother,i felt like chopping off my hands, i am always full of guilt , i had a disturbing chilhood bcos of dispute bw my father and his brothers, i am hopeless , ifeel like i am useless piece of crap, dont have real friends , inhave always been betrayed by them, i had a girlfriend , my only love of life at the age of 16, she ditched me, after her i never had confidence to approach ane girl, people around me ignore me like i dont exist, life sucks , but i suk more then my life....us hate myself |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 23, 2012 |
My story isn't the worst but I'm just feeling jaded about everything. I'm almost thirty and still living at home. I have no job. Have no money. Am heavily in debt. Couldn't finish college, I hated it, even went back multiple times. No true friends. No girl. I'm highly sensitive so when someone betrays me, its over, forever, which doesn't help in maintaining interpersonal relationships. I'm trying to be a novelist with obviously no success thus far. I've yet to fully complete a project actually. Laziness is a staple in my existence. I'm not the worst looking guy but am a bit overweight from a poor diet and not enough exercise. I spend most of my day on the internet, reading, and playing video games. Basically I have a feeling of going nowhere in life. My self confidence is pretty shot. I'm sadly in love with a girl on the internet I've never met who lives in China who is as much a bohemian low life as I am. She finds me interesting enough and would be willing to give me a chance if I got my life together. I consider myself a fairly intelligent human being, but my lethargic essence impedes in moving on in life. Essentially I want to be a child forever. So there was my little slice of life. Not as horrible as I've read on this site. I really got to start taking action though. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 23, 2012 |
No career, not married yet and I got one more year off the calendar, no friends not by choice, and all I had was my ex bf who knows How my life is and yet always emotionally torment me first before he ignore and abandons me...
why doesnt he feel sympathy for me and seems he really enjoys tormenting me and i have anxiety and panic attacks and he would emotionally torment me more when it happens and will take pleasure of me chasing after him and keep calling him and texting and he tells me if I were to kill myself oh well thats on me... all i want is to be his friend cause he is all i have but he would emotionally torment me and im sooo stupid i cant help but chase and chase him... i chase cause i dont have nobody else... but why does he not feel any sympathy for me and never will he sat sorry and he would tell me its my fault and i have to say sorry and he always yell and get mad for the smallest things... yet im the dumbest girl on earth cause i cant control it and keep chasing him and i hate it. he is like the devil..
I know I am to blame cause I am letting him do this to me but I dont want to be all alone and he is the only one who I go out with and escape me from personal problems...
I know I have God and Idk why I still feel alone and keep chasing an ex who clearly takes pleasure in emotionally tormenting me... But why cant I just leave him aloneee... No I dont love him or want him anymore after all that torment heckk no but Idk why I just cant leave him alone.. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 20, 2012 |
Life is shit, I am 31 years old and still a complete loser. I don't have any friends and spend all my time alone in my flat on my computer surfing the web for useless things. I have never had a girl friend ever - I think I have AvPD, so it is extremely difficult for me to form friendships let alone relationships.
I think I am fucked in the brain as I tend to masturbate over ballbusting clips from films or porn. I watch too much porn on the internet; cumshots in a women's mouth, especially when they swallow or when they take it during a blowjob, are my favourite - getting a hard-on just thinking about it. I don't know how to motivate myself to make something of my life instead of always jacking off to porn; it is the only form of excitement in my miserable life.
I hate myself and always think about blowing my brains out (all the time when I am not thinking about porn), but don't have the guts to go through with it. My flat is a complete mess and I am too lazy to clean it. I want to live a better life or at least have the strength to commit suicide, but I can't seem to do either which means I am stuck in this miserable way of life. When I reflect on myself I feel so fucked up and ashamed of myself. Sometimes I pray to God (though I am not religious in any way) to kill me immediately as I hate this life or let me win the lottery - though it has never responded to any of my prayers, which draws me to the conclusion there is no God and there never has been. Now I just pray to myself to help myself, but even that is fruitless as I haven't got over my self hatred yet.
I still live in hope though that diminishes after each day, but soon the realisation will hit me when it is time to die, I just hope it will be soon!
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| Posted by Mad at April 19, 2012 |
I hate everything im 23 years old got no life no friends no job no girlfriend my last relationship was about 3 years ago and she left me with emotional scars for life she said i ve got a little dick and that no woman ever is going to love me and i think its true all my relationships fail nobody likes me at all the worst was when i watched her facebook profile and she haves like 1000 friends and a new boyfriend and a nice job it was a punch in the face because even after all that i still loved her me im fucked up patetic got no future or money no hope even my family despises me and im coward i have no balls for suicide or something like that i dont know what to do anymore is it even worth trying if you know you're going to fail anyway? |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 16, 2012 |
Here's me- One parent family until i was 9, but it was ok. My mom made enough money to support us and we had a fairly close knit family around us. No resentment from my upbringing.
I was a bright kid. Topped the class etc. Had no real direction was the problem. Got good GCSE's, and A levels, started doing a degree. All the while i was with my childhood sweetheart. We bought a house thanks to a generous contribution from her father. All going well until we split up. I generally wasnt thinking about further education at the time, dropped out in order to get a full time job and fund living together (she needed to move out as parents were moving away)So then i was 21/22 on my own with a house i couldn't afford, and a shit retail job.
Fast fwd until now. I met a girl we bought my ex out of the property. Im still in my shitty job. We're scraping by, and ive tried so fucking hard to get another job. Ive got no real qualifications, i cant afford to re-school. Stuck in a rut. I hate the fact that i'll never have any real money. I'll never be someone my children will be proud of and i'll always be embarrassed about my non-career.
Fucking hate life |
| | Posted by Very bitter at April 13, 2012 |
Well I am pushing 50 this year and I am still a virgin and no friends. And not by choice either. I still today am being treated as if I was worse than Freddy Kruger (in the looks department). I'm still living with my almost 80 year old mother because I can't be seen in public. I will never have a child of my own which I had always wanted since I played with dolls in the 60's and 70's and I am now going through menopause. God most especially hates me. I started realizing it during my 20's in the 80's. I was still young enough so I tried to hang on. Even in my 30's during the 90's, I still tried to hang on and as well during the 2000 decade during most of my 40's. But now with me turning 50 this year? That is it. I had enough. I am tired, angry, bitter, disgusted. I still break down in tears which I mostly always only did before. But now I don't even care anymore. I'm feeling more hatred now because I am getting too old and it is too late for me. So now being half a damn century old and I am still in the same situation? What is the point of me being alive in the first place. Nothing. There is plenty more to say but with that so far I have mentioned, pretty much sums up right now how I feel. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 13, 2012 |
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to end my life. I've had few friendships and no romantic relationships in my miserable 20 year existence. I've always felt isolated and alone, but have deluded myself into thinking that someday, somehow, things will get better. My only relief from my depression was the satisfaction I got from doing hard work-then that turned into the satisfaction I felt from getting high.
I was arrested this past weekend.
I had my whole life in front of me, but now I am looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. I might get lucky with the law. But I've realized that I'm far past caring-I realize how insignificant I am to the world. Nobody cares. Why should I?
I used to believe in something. Then I realized how pathetic my life is-sleep, study, work, use, and repeat. Sleep, study, work, use, and repeat. I don't have friends-I don't particularly want them either; I've never attained even the slightest measure of satisfaction from any of my interpersonal relationships, only disappointment and dismay. I've learned to expect nothing from anyone else, and recently I've realized that I can't even count on myself anymore. The only time I feel remotely close to happiness is when I'm wasted in one form or another, and usually I am alone at these times. I don't want to do this anymore. I have no reason to live.
I think I'm finally going to fulfill my suicidal wishes. I just don't want to leave a big mess behind, and trouble someone else to clean up after me. As a chemistry major with extensive lab experience, I know how to synthesize some of the most toxic compounds known to man. Methanol or cyanide would be easy to make or come by-I just have to hope I remember to leave a "DNR" sign on my corpse for the safety of the EMT's who may try to resuscitate me; there is no need for my selfish existence to end any life but my own. |
| | Posted by poonis at April 12, 2012 |
At least half of my day is filled with thoughts about killing myself or just feeling that frustration that only a few people truly know. That frustration that you are alive and desperately want to be dead and to have never have existed.
Fuck reason, there seems to BE almost no reason why I want to die whilst other people seem so obsessed with living and enduring the pain and misery that is their miserable and often painful existence. Fucking hell, if your life is so shit why the fuck aren't you dead already or at least talking to me about how to commit suicide?! Fucking hell, what could possibly be worse to endure than a life with no meaning or scope for meaning; do you even realise how good you actually have it in that sense?
On the surface my life probably appears only a little below average. I dropped out of university, now working construction, still living at parents at 23 years old, forever alone, no real friends since I'm an absolute twat beyond what most people (probably even myself if that makes sense?) are able to comprehend etc.
One negative about almost constant suicidal thoughts is the fact that assisted suicide isn't legal so I can't even talk to anyone about how to kill myself safely without ending up disfigured and the only sites on the Internet that aren't censored are the ones that provide joke information taking the piss out of people who want to kill themselves. Basically just rubbing salt in the wound. What the hell happened ... |
| | Posted by born_loser at April 12, 2012 |
I am 26 years of age, and a born loser! No matter how hard I try, I always end up failing. Everything education, looking for employment, sport everything. When I was at school I used to study day and night but always fucked up my exams, when I was in college I was the star athelete but when it came to the day of sporting event I would get fever or hurt my ankle hence won't be able to participate. All that year of hardwork just gone. Now I am a post graduate. Got a distinction degree and even offered a job with bank. But guess what its been 3 months and I haven't been given a start date. Month ago they lost my declaration form and now they want me to again send them photocopies of my passport and stuff! Already done that twice! I just can never catch a break! No matter what I get involve in I have the potentiol and I fuck it up! Just tired of fighting!same goes for relationships! Date beautiful woman but I ALWAYS fuck them up some how! My younger cunt brother get everything easily. Job girls good grades. Where as I always end of fucking it up! Its like GOd hates me or luck got something against me! Just wanna be a winner for once in myy life. |
| | Posted by should not even exist at April 11, 2012 |
Hey, I want to kill myself but I am sooo afraid to fail, again. Its not as easy I thought. I have take over hundreds of pills, may have some head damage from my most recent attempt on easter, but unfortunetly, I am still here. what do I have to do to end this self hatred? Really, I want to be gone so my poor parents dont have to suffer anymore, they dont deserve it. I am 42 and a piece of shit. They are pretty awesome and love me. PLEASE do NOT even bother to talk me out of it. that is bullshit. Plus, there is a chance i will fail again anyway. Just wanted any suggestions for successful suicide. What I have always wanted is to donate all my organs and save GOD knows how many lives or limbs, but dont wanna end up in the psych ward for suggesting it, been there, done that. Makes sense cause at least i would serve some purpose, IF I could help another. Otherwise I cant even help myself. Any suggestions would be much appreciated greatly. asap, the sooner the better. This universe is already over populated, I cant even get a job for years. This universe does NOT need shit like me in it. Thanks. |
| | Posted by A LONER SCUM at April 7, 2012 |
All the times I wonder why I feel Bad every day and night.... i look at the reflection of my face at the glass of jack daniels.... i see a short 5'1, fat, ugly, battered, tattooed, hairy, loser living in his parent's house.... i always wonder why my life sucked...... Im ANGRY outside and inside SAD.... im poor and got fired as a bagger at grocery store after 1 week....... it was my first job at age 21...... i have lost all contacts of my old and only friends from high school.... dropped out of college... and lieing to my parents that im going to community college now but, IM NOT..... I don't want to... I hate School... in high school i got some in school and out of school suspensions and disciplinary actions for robbing other kids and fighting... i been in Juvie when i was 17 to 18 and repeat 2 years of my senior year.... My parents were so angry and disappointed with me.... i told them lies i will get help and change my life around... 2 years from today... im the same loser now since back then.... Just a week ago i had a knife and threatened a store clerk for money... he didn't give me the money so i went to the cooler grabbed a glass beer and chucked it at him... he then kept saying please get out get out with his arms folded begging.. i ran out... and hid near my neighbors backyard to make sure no cops saw me cross side streets by jumping fences.... TOday im so sick of what i AM.... A loser Scum... inside im sad and desperate and outside just pissed at people... all rich and happy people... I got nothing to live for and think suicide be the best thing for me |
| | Posted by Loser K at April 7, 2012 |
I am 43 years old have no job, no money, and no relationship. I have a son in college who i can't help thank God that he received a basketball scholarship bc if he didn't i don't know where he would of been. I am a poor excuse for a human being and i hate being ME! I have issues from since i was a young girl growing up because i was always ridiculed for being too black with ugly skin and no hair. I was teased horribly in school and even by my family members. I grew up with no self esteem that's why i was treated so badly by my son's "sperm donor". I never had a boyfriend that wanted to claim me so now i grew up with no boyfriend experience only men that wanted to use me. I am a very loyal, and nice person to people and they always treat me like garbage in the end. I am a disappointment to my son and my family. My son secretly thinks i am a loser and can't stand to be around me. I live with my parents still who treats me like i am still 10 years old and berate me any chance they get. I am a joke to the entire world! Sometimes i question God why was i born? No answer. I wish the earth could swallow me up, i would be gone and i would be a bad memory for everyone. I am out of shape, my hair is balding, and i am more uglier. Why remain on this earth to die unhappy with a broken heart? This is cruelty for me to remain on this earth because i feel it will not get better but only worse. I am so tired and i want my son to forget i ever exist. This is my pathetic unproductive existance......... |
| | Posted by Alex at April 4, 2012 |
32 years old. life sucks. Just jacked off for the third time today. Woke up at noon. No job for last 14 months. Drink myself to sleep at night. No date in the last two yrs. Can't stop thinking about I never should have joined the army/been in Iraq. Only leave my apt once a week for food and beer. |
| | Posted by erik at April 1, 2012 |
I recently got laid off for the secound time this year, Im turning 30 tomorrow, i live with my mom, I signed up for match.com my profiles been viewed 147 and i haven't recived one reply from any of the messages iv sent. Im on unemployment $338 a week wooopeeee (sarcasm) and to top it all i cant spell for shit. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 27, 2012 |
I live alone in a derelict, damp-ridden house with my obese, disabled mother. She's not completely dependent on me but I can't leave her alone for more than a day and GOD doesn't she nag and interrogate me. She nags at what I'm wearing, constantly tells me men are vile and I must have nothing to do with them, watches and questions my every move. I wanted to be a doctor and was at sixth form college in the nearby city doing the appropriate A levels... but I somehow got addicted to cocaine and I've left college after failing all my coursework. My mother doesn't know, she thinks I still go there every day, I daren't even imagine what her reaction will be when she eventually finds out. I've started fucking men just to get drugs. I'm anorexic. I suffer a pathological jealousy of my cousin because she's so thin and beautiful, and can't stop myself trying to jepoardise everything she does, even though we used to be friends. Worst of all, I have abnormal sexual fantasies of causing pain and injury to men I find attractive. The one time I've had sex for enjoyment rather than drugs, which was the time I lost my virginity, I ended up slapping the guy hard round the face and scratching him. I don't think he's told anyone but I feel like I must be psychotic. Even so, I still can't help thinking about it when I masturbate... which brings me to the horror of what happened last weekend. I forgot to lock the bathroom door and I was naked in a crouching position quickly doing th... |
| | Posted by nobody at March 27, 2012 |
i wonder what the world has become these days,
i am almost about 50, no work, no money, no land for live.
i lived most of my childhood in boarding schools, cause it was easyer
for my parents to get rid of me, first mistake, if u fuck u know u can have a child, and u are responsable for it. childhood sucked, every day since i was 6 cleaning a basement on my knees, and listening to the fights my parents had.school was ok a little till my mom decided it ws more good i went to a lower type of school (again boarding school)i hated it, so a dropout on my 16 th. work for me was as 13 in a dozen, had some good jobs, but always by some reason could not hold it (part my fault)money always a problem, i really not need too much, but life and gouvernement of my country made it expensive, yes in return social benefits and care for everybody, but the only one who benefits is the gouvernement.lovelife sucked everytime, i had my share of gf but it was always not me they loved, but what i could do for them (no money, no honey)but love made me blind many times, leaving me now with nothing. i gave up my life before to start a new one in another country with a woman i loved, it lasted 9 months, till my money was gone, and so was she, so now i sit in a foreign country no family, no money, no home, just a backpack with some clothes. it all comes down to caring, nobody have time anymore for each other, busy too much with their own lifes,if u look for help people ignore u, if u want to kill yourself officials say not do that. why ?to much paperwork after ? well if i knew a way i did it, cause life sucks, and i am tired of it, no love , nobody who cares, so why should i not ? nobody will miss me, i am just another nobody in this sick crazy world. |
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