LIFE SUCKS : Family

Cursed?

This will be a long read, so apologies and thanks in advance to those who read this.

I have never met anyone else with a life like mine, ever. Born to physically and emotionally abusive pill addict CA-razy mother (who attempted to kill me with her car once, and poisoned my food another time), I have nothing but bad memories from my childhood and adolescence. My father, although a good man in many ways, such as raising one of my brothers as his own -- a brother who was conceived while my mother had an affair -- was emotionally distant, and sometimes physically abusive. He died from cancer a few months before I graduated high school, which was a couple years after my parents divorced.

My mother had remarried after their divorce, and my stepfather was a sick bastard, an alcoholic. One day, when I'd interfered in my mother's abusive behavior toward one of my little brothers, she beat me with an electric frying pan and bit me (huge bites that bled profusely), then threw me out of the house. I went to live with a friend and her parents.

My stepfather lured me one night with the promise he wanted to help patch relationship between me and Mom, but he was lying. He held me prisoner in his car and raped me at knife point. I'd just turned 18. The police did not believe me despite evidence my stepfather had been drunk and had fake ID, as well as a knife in his glove compartment (after I escaped his car, telling him I needed to use the bathroom,...

You all have it better compare to me....I think

Hi, I'm not good of a write so my story may be completely short. I grow up in a house where people never told me that they love me, really this is true, both mom and dad. They always told me that I was a mistake and should of never been born in the first place. I have an older sister that my so called parents adore so dearly. They brags on her and treats her like she's God and show her off to the public, and I'm standing in the Background looking pathetic. So my sister moved out and seems that things gotten worst on my end because she moved out it seems they took it out on me which they did in fact, say I was the reason why she moved because I'm a annoying little bastard and that I should be the one that goes. My sister moved with her boyfriend and don't clearly think that is had anything to do with me. I'm 18 years old and if I play my cards right I will get out a good job and move out their goddamn house and they probably never see me again. Yes I was raped, raped by my damn dads long time friend, and I couldn't tell both my parent because no one would believe me as they never does. I have no friends, well, not the kind that I can trust. Despite it all, with no support from any parents, I made it out of high school and now probably off to college. I just wish I had it better.

Help..?

So I come home from university for the easter break, haven't seen my mom in a fair while and thought it'd be good... Turns out she's resorted to alcohol at some point since I've moved out and prefers hitting the bottle to anything else...
She's always had a bit of an issue with anger because of being beaten by her dad when she was a child but, lately it's been worse with regards to the alcohol...
When I came home for this easter break, she comes in after being out on the piss all day and starts giving me verbal abuse for no apparent reason, I tell her to go to bed, which is the worst thing I could do as she goes psycho!
Long story short, arguement erupted which ended up with her trying to strangle me and throwing heavy objects at my head (paperweights, ornaments etc..)as well as destroying the majority of the house...
I have to call the police, get her arrested (under the mental health act of whatever...) and I came back to university...
Before the police came she cut her wrists (not properly)... The thing is we're talking, but I can't trust her at all... I feel awkward talking to her, I don't know how to act? I would like a little closure on the whole thing, and I've brushed it off thinking it hasn't had an affect on me.. But it really has. So, what do I do..? How do I go on from here?

There is no rock bottom

When I was 8 years old, my father knocked off his secretary, and I was sent away to boarding school so my parents could sort out their marriage. The first few nights I was there, I was molested by other boys. The staff knew what had happened, but they did nothing.

I begged my parents to let me come home. They never said a word.

I didn't have one single romantic experience in high school, despite working out at an insane level. All that happened was girls regarded me with pity, and said I'd meet someone.

I turned to drugs and alcohol after leaving school. At 19, I had my first mental breakdown. I couldn't go five minutes without crying and having a panic attack. My doctor prescribed me an antidepressant and an antipsychotic, the latter of which killed my soul and made me gain 4 stone in 6 months. I was 8 stone, now I'm nearer 13.

I tried to come off the olanzapine recently, and experienced psychotic symptoms. Despite losing 2 stone in weight, and feeling better about life, I was put back on the original dose. The weight has come back, and I once again feel like an empty shell.

Because of who and what I am, a relationship is out of the question. I'm a 13 stone, depressed, psychotic, 23 year old virgin.

You'd figure I could just stop caring. But it still hurts, even if I don't try anymore. Seeing my friends pair off one by one makes me feel like a razor blade is slicing into my heart.

I'd kill myself, but I'm all my mother has. And I can't inflict that much pain on the only woman who has ever loved me.

Where do I go from here?

I'm 32 yrs old been married for 12 yrs. I had my daughter prematurely. She is a special needs child. This was about the darkest time in my life. My husband couldn't accept it and turned to drugs and alcohol. He's never been a good husband but I dealt with it because I loved him. Well now we have 2 more children 5 and 1. He quit the alcohol and drugs and he shockingly became a good daddy. Well a few months ago I found out he had a girlfriend. He's gone at work everyother week so he had no problems hiding it. Well about a month or so into his relationship I found out. I was devestated. I accepted him back for my kids sake. Also I really don't think at this point anyone else would want me. I have no family here where we live now. I'm surrounded by his family. I have no friends, no one to relate to. We live in the country so its hard for me to get out. We rely on one vehicle so most of the time I'm stuck at home. I'm afraid to be a single mom so I suffer in silence. Loneliness consumes me. I can't provide for my kids like he can and since I quit school to care for my daughter I only managed to get my GED. I feel trapped and lonely. Wondering if this is it. Is this what my life is reduced to? Total unhappiness. The only thing that gets me up in the a.m. is my kids. Well thanks for letting me vent. Maybe some day ill see the light at the end of the tunnel.

hate

I feel like im a terrible person for complaining and im gonna say right off the bat my story isn't as bad as all of the ones I read but this is my last resort. Anyway this all began about 4 or 5 years ago. I was nine when I figured out my dad was an alcoholic and I love my dad but it all went down hill from there.( It didn't help one bit my mother owns a bar in saint cloud 5 mins away from where I live). My dad began coming home late and drunk. 1 year or less later my mom figured out my dad had been cheating on her with her bartender Peggy,not only bartender but good friend. And then my mom began to drink and I was all alone. Being 11 I didn't k ow what to do I was all alone and sort of an out cast at school,keeping everything bottled up.i lost my best friend,my mom. As a rebound my mom dated a young 27 year old named matt which I thought was disgusting her being 45 anyway I felt alone my own mother wouldn't even talk to me anymore. I would cry myself to sleep every night for about 5 month. And yes I could be being over dramatic,if you want to think of it in that perspective. But I hurt. Pain I haven't ever felt. I was still yet very close with my fathers dad. And on the day my dad had me every two weeks me and and my grandpa should talk for hours he made me laugh like no one could. About 4 months later he died of lung cancer. And I felt a lone again. Myself as a Christian I knew hurt my self wad wrong and a sin... Even tho I have attempted before. But never going far fo...

betrayed

I was betrayed before I was born. but who cares. God shunned me and destined me to be alone for life, and put me in this body that isn't even me. Then I was born and was just given away. Unwanted. Adopted. They diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder, but I am pretty sure I have good reason to believe I am a burden to my family. And maybe i should have expected that after all of this, my mom would eventually snap, and that our family would fall apart. But the sad thing is i never expected it to happen in my recovery. To make things worse I was born with bad eyes. All my childhood was surgeries and getting scalpels shoved into the back of my eye sockets. My mom couldn't have children. But apparently when she adopted me, her miracle happened and she had my sister. I grew up with everyone ignoring me, because i was the misfit child with fucked up eyes. Everyone always talked about how great my sister was. I grew up knowing I didn't belong. Terrified my family would someday betray me. I grew up thinking I was physically and mentally retarded. Because I was too young to understand what was wrong with me to always be in hospitals. I died many times, but they kept bringing me back. I guess god wants me to suffer. Then when I was 13 I was diagnosed with skin cancer and they cut my nose off. That seriously didn't make things better because they ruined my face. From there I developed anorexia nervosa. Then my parent's betrayed me yet again and sent me to live all my teen...

Why do I still feel this way

Im sitting on my sofa in the UK with tears in my eyes over the aching emptiness in my chest.
I have nothing new to add to the issues that most people are facing in their lives and I admit I am much better off than many others.
Im not looking for pity, Im hoping that someone out there will identify with me and maybe give me some advice on how to handle the overpowering emotional pain Im feeling on a daily basis.
Long story short.
Ive had emotional problems since I was a little girl. Four sisters a lovely mom and an alcholic father who drank us into poverty.
Saw a lot of physical fighting between my parents from the age of 4 to 16. Lived in fear of my dad killing my mother and in those days, late 60s, early 70s there was not really any kind of awareness or help for kids like me and my sisters.
Grew up, I was in the top stream at school but under achieved because it was impossible to revise properly in my house because of my dads the drinking.Again in those days you didnt talk about this kind of stuff.
Started self harming at 15 but eventually put it behind me. Married a lovely man I was with for almost 20 years but the marriage ended after he had an affair. His mother died from Motor Neurone disease and his dad was fighting cancer when he started the affair so I guess he was cracking up a bit too.
Had a new relationship for five years with a man who started off great then started hitting & shouting at me. Discovered he was mentally ill but i...

Y do I have the shitty life?

First, my mom died. Then my dad committed suicide, and everyone says it's becuz of me. We moved into my grandmas house, who now has cancer and are broke. My sis and I work at a grocery store and make 9 dollars an hour. We r completely broke becuz my parents didn't have any money for us to inherit. Al my other family members r dead except for my grandma who's about to died, and my sis, who spends all r money on drugs. She is a crackhead, probably about to commit suicide. All my friends, which I barely have any, r little bitches and unreliable. They look down on me. So if think ur life sucks, then shut the fuck up.u have no idea.

standards

I'm in grade 10 and i was brought up in a fairly wealthy family. I have a good life on paper but one thing thats really hard is living up to my brothers. My first brother is 25 and is practically a genius. he breezed through highschool and university, and on top of being REALLY smart, he's one of the most popular people I know and everyone loves him. He now makes 100,000$ a year and hes only 25...

my other brother is 21 and was diagnosed with autism when he was 3. He overcame it (obviously wasnt autism then...) and graduated highschool with honors. It's hard for me to even pass math let alone be an A+ student.

ON TOP of all that, my sister died when she was 8, and she was the girl everyone loved, she was so bad, but so funny and everyone adored her. Its really hard hearing my parents talk about how great she was because im their only daughter now and i cant live up to all these expectations.

life sucks

first, i lost my mom. 2 months later my dad killed himself. my sister and i were on our own with no money. my parents didn't have any money to give to us. were currently living in my grandmas house who is about to die from cancer. we are broke and unemployed. my boyfriend cheated on me with a hooker. my sister is doing drugs. what do i do.

A bit about me....

Growing up for me had its ups and downs. You were never bored as there was always work to be done living on a farm. I’m the oldest of four, but now there is only three. My youngest sister died at the tender age of nine months- Sudden Infant Death Syndrome or SIDS. It was the day after Christmas when my mom found Sophie dead in her crib. The scene still imprinted in my brain- my mom wailing hysterically on the floor over her little body- everyone, the paramedics, police, all standing around unsure of what to do…. My dad cornered me in the bathroom, his eyes bloodshot: “We have to be strong and get through this”. It took YEARS for my mother to return to a “normal” state of mind. Sophie’s death almost tore the family apart. When I turned 18, I rebelled, moved in with my Uncle so I could grow weed and hang out with my friends without a curfew. There were strings attached. I was lying on the front lawn sunbathing when the first episodes started. First there would be a “massage” then eventually at night came the blow job demands. I moved out soon after, living from boyfriend to boyfriend until I graduated from highschool. After graduation, I moved out West, worked for a ski area and can honestly say that it was the happiest time of my life… The molestations were tucked far away in the back of the closet… Eventually though, I moved back to my hometown. I rarely saw my Uncle, it was always awkward. He was my father’s brother for god’s sake- I couldn’t say anything, or else my fa...

My mother was diagnosed with M.S.(multiple sclerosis)before I born and grew up barely knowing her. My sister, father and I would visit her at the hospital on weekends and that was mostly it. If i knew how serious it was I would of spent more time with her.
My father being the alcoholic he is, he thought it was alright to see other women at the bars while my mother was still alive and married... i felt i lost my father aswell.
Soon after my mother passing away my family fell apart fight after fight.
My uncle soon got sick after and I spent more time with him and before he past away he talked to me about my mother and how strong she was. All I saw was my mother getting sicker and sicker and I couldn't help. After my uncle past I lost my father figure in life and started abusing drugs and alcohol like my father, but soon got feed up that it wasn't hiding anything and just prolonging my pain.
I don't get any kicks out of life, i just get kicked. Everything I work at ends up falling apart in my hands... why do i even wake up anymore.

I have only had one serious relationship and only lasted a month and didn't end well . When people are around me they get bummed, and its because i never have anything positive to say.

I feel like a loser. But fuck it.

I hope no one tracks me on this, it would be quite the story to tell anyone why I'm pouring my life story out on some internet bull shit I found on google. Where to begin, my parents were bartenders, and I had a struggling sister who raised me half the time. I found my mom coked out on the floor and my dad was a drunk, life ran its mediocre story of a low middle class family life until I was six years old and my grandfather died in the terrorist attacks on 9/11. It was the first funeral I had ever been to. The first time I understood the meaning of murder and death. You know how you find out if you're family member and loved one is gone? They find his class ring, his watch, and name plate on his office door, but not him. He called us on sept. 10th. a few hours before he died. he was the one person I loved more than anything. we got through it and got enough inhertance to buy a house put my sister and dad in college and life got on track again. until our house was flooded by a hurricane and we lived in a trailer for five years. my sister moved out and married an abusive prick. my mom threatened me with killing herself. even showed me a few nice scars and told me my dad and I were the reason. I'm now sixteen. I dropped out of school in 5th grade. no shit. I somehow luckily hid underneath the public school system until I was sixteen and got my GED. my dad lost his job, my sister was commited into a psych ward, is now living with us and divorcing her husband and we are now in a huge custody battle over my niece. I work at a grocery store and support my fucking household. thats just the rough draft of life for me. I have to come up with $500

Keep your head up!

I've been through a whole lot of crap in my life. Im sure many have, but im younger than most of you. It all started when my dad left us. He still kept in touch with us, but sometimes i feel like he doesnt even care about what he did to me. To make it worse, he has a girlffriend but i had to find it out myself. he didnt even have the guts to tell me, and i realized that he is a liar, and untrustable. About 9 months after, i lost my best friend. It was my dog. And he didnt die, he was just too crazy for my family's kind of lifestyle.He wasnt mean, but he just needed too much attention. But, hes happy now becasue he went to a good family. I still get to visit him, but it makes me kinda upset sometimes. I thought i hit rockbottom, but i had no clue what else was in store for me. My sister hit her mid-teens, and i cant even explain her. She is always crabby and is telling me im a terrible sister when shes even worse. I thought my life was starting to progress(barely) because my mom told me that i still might be able to get a dog. But it had to be the perfect one, which i dont mind. About 1 year later, i found out that my grandma had cancer.Well this is where my story ends because this is present time. We know that she probably has less than 6 months to live becasue her cancer was at stage 4 when they found out. I know that there are people out there with harder lives, so i've told myself to keep my head up until everything progresses. To make it worse, i feel like all my friends are unreliable and that i cant tell them anything because their lives are almost perfect. They have no clue what im going through, and i just need someone here for me.I know that there are some hard times in life, and i just need to wait, but i know that things will clear out. For every1 else out there with a hard life, and people who can relate to me, i hope that your lives can clear out. But until then, keep your head up.

I am lucky in more ways than I can event list, but most importantly I have a loving mother, my health, a home to live in, and I'm employed and attending college. I am aware of my good fortune, and I remind myself everyday, but still go to sleep feeling kind of shitty. I am always self-concious, painfully so. The fact that I am always so aware of myself means that I can never just let go. I strongly dislike people, including myself. I feel we are all excessively judgmental and careless with how we treat others. I try to be the kindest and friendliest I can be, but in the end I feel it's just making me an easy target, someone to trample on and take advantage of.

I think the root of my issues has to do with my father getting sick. When I was young he would visit every weekend (my parents are separated) and me, him, and my brother had a strong relationship. But it became apparent that something was off with his health. During my middle school years, he was diagnosed with Parkinsin's and dementia. During this period he was still more or less aware and able to speak and move around. And I hate myself for not visiting more during that time because I know that's what he'd have wanted and I regret it deeply. It's like I was angry at him for becoming distant but I didn't understand that really he was getting sick. It was after he had a stroke that his condition worsened. Now he can't speak or move, but he smiles when my brother and I visit.

I feel so terrible to...

Scared

I'm 22 years old. I graduated from college a year ago and just got a great new job which I'll be starting next week. I have a boyfriend and a few close friends and on the outside, things seem to be mostly okay.
I have always struggled with depression and anxiety. I've had problems with both my entire life. My mother is bi-polar (as was my grandmother, when she was still cognizant of things) and would become manic and have psychotic breakdowns requiring hospitalization every few years throughout my childhood. I have never seen my mother hold a job. She is financially supported by my 96 year old grandmother who has advanced dementia and doesn't know who any of her family members are anymore. My father is terminally ill with emphysema and has been hospitalized four times in the past two years (three of those four in a span of about six months). We all live in my grandmother's house. Up until pretty recently, my father worked a regular job every day, but since his illness has gotten worse, he stays home and works part time from the living room couch and naps most of the rest of the day. My mother's entire side of the family suffers from mental illness and are difficult people to deal with. A lot of fighting, miscommunication, jealousy, shaming, and blaming goes on here. If that were all it was, it'd be easier to just hate everyone and not feel so emotionally attached, but there is a also a deep love and family structure underneath it all, despite how dysfunctional everyth...

just browsing things, and stumbled on this website. It looks like an easy place to rant. no one knows who anyone is and they can care or not. But at least the feelings are being said right?
I know I'm not even close to the worst case out there. but that doesn't mean the pain is any less real.
I'm 21 years old. in the 2nd grade I had to learn what an affair is, when my mom sent me to therapy due to my father cheating on her. All the way up until.. well. still. I would catch him looking at things on the computer. People my own age. As well as knowing his multiple affairs. I watched my mom drink herself into crazy abusive spells. Watched my father abuse her and my siblings. We've always been poor. struggling. Live in a trailer where the floor is literally rotting and collapsing. I developed an OCD in middle school. i'd pick at spots on my arms due to stress. And those turned into scars. Since then I've been made fun of for it. still have acne from stress and poor nutrition, etc even. If anyone looks at me, it's not in a nice way. I was alone through high school because I hated how people acted. I hated the nonstop bull to get the most popularity, The parties. Etc. I always thought people should do more with themselves. So I had no friends. A few I spoke with, but they never gave a damn, ya know? my brothers both went to iraq. My sister suffered with high anxiety and we often got into physical fights. By 17, i quit and joined the not so amazing pot crowd. Fell in w...

hate ma life

I was born into a low income family. my dad was always a bad tempered person but when he lost his job he went completely mad. he would hit my mum and me and my twin sister all the time and kept us locked in the house the only time we were allowed out was were for school. At 14 my dad pushed my mum from the stairs and she died. he told the police the she fell and got away with it he treatened me and my sister that he wold kill us if we ever told anyone. About a week later my sister and i ran away from home. we survived in the streets for about 6 months. one night a women found me sleeping under a bidge and took me to a to house and when i woke up a social worker was their to get me the women had not brought my sister she siad she only found me under the the bridge. i moved into the a care home and about a month later my sister was found. at first i was so happy but that she was ok but soon found out that she hated me for leaving her there in the streets while i was in a nice warm house. she made the rest of my care home life misrible. now we're 25 and shes a rich successful accountent lives in a hugh flat and is getting married to i guy i was in love for about my whole uni life. an me i have an averge paid job i live on my on in a small rented flat trying to find a reason to live. my sister hates me she didn't even invite me to her wedding. i applogised so many times but she wont forgive me, its noit my fault i didnt leave her in the street that night i was asleep but she doesnt f-ing understand that. i hate my life i hate her.

Tough

I'm 18 years old now and for the last 5 years my life has been completely fucked up. When I was 14 my dad cheated on my mum. My mum has serious mental problems and needs help. Even before he as this he used to Physcially and mentally abuse me and my sister. She would threaten to kill us throw things at us, try to suffocAte us. I think she's got multiple personality disorder mixed with a number of other things but who the fuck knows shea just completely insane. When my dAd moved out she starting threatening to kill herself, shoving pills in her mouth in the middle of the street. While this was happening when I was 14 my sister was 18 my sister would just sit and play her video games like nothing was happening. While I was trying to help my mother. When i was 15 I started smoking, drinking, smoking weed, taking LSD and pills so numb the pain. Being made from a seriously mentally I'll mother I too was susceptible to the trauma she has. I become extremely paranoid I thought all my friends were Talking about me, laughing at me, planning to kill me, watching me when I was alone and worst of all I thought everyone could read my mind. It got so bad I couldn't speak from the anxiety and the delusions i was so caught up in. One morning I woke up from a night of partying and when I was walking it literAlly felt as if my brain had collapsed and hit the floor. I don't think I'll ever know but ever since I've never been the same. At 17 I went to see doctors about what I had turned into...