|Posted by wic wac at August 13, 2011|
In the last 6 years my husband left me, lost our house and money with bad real estate debt, so I got NOTHING in divorce despite 19 yrs of marriage. I raised/raising 3 kids on my own, work 2-3 jobs, even 4 at times. Three of my precious pups died over the course of a year (old age and one got hit by a car right in front of me). The worst is now. I'm a nurse and was on shift one night when a baby was born with cerebral palsy. The family is suing the hospital and I have to go to trial (with a few other nurses). Don't have anything to wear, don't want to buy anything. Have to work too much never get to date or look for partner. I have nothing, am nothing,
|Posted by anonymous at July 26, 2011|
i dont even know where to start.. when i was little my family was happy we could afford anything we wanted nobody was yelling at home but now our lives are totally different.. we dont have any money we are poor as shit nobody is happy but the most unhappy person in the family is me.. high school made my life a living hell im bullied all the time im really sick and tired of that i want to stand up for my self but there is something in me that is holding me back i want to do something more in my life but i cant im a total loser i have no friends i never go out and im just 17 im depressed all the time every word can hurt me and i cry like crazy for everything my personality has changed im yelling at everybody my parents always yells back at me that i have to change but its easy to be said but not easy to be done sometimes i wish i wasnt even born... every other person i know is just so happy they are all smiling and i wish i was like them maybe they have problem too but they dont show that they are not happy but i that kind of person that always shows what i feel like i suffer from social anxiety thats the reason why i have no friends.. 10 minutes ago my mom came to my room and she said if i wanted to take my dog for a walk and i said no and i said that this morning i took it for a walk and i said that she can take the dog out and she started crying and yelling at me " why are you doing this to me you are driving me crazy" and she always takes pills to calm down...
im writing this with tears in my eyes wondering will i wake up the next morning i just want to commit suicide right now..
|Posted by LYNN at July 11, 2011|
I AM 55YEARS OLD AND IN 1987 I HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I DID TRY TO REBUILD MY LIFE BY CLEANING HOMES AND GOT MARRIED AND HAD A BOY I CHERISHED I AM NOT ABLE TO REMEMBER ALOT. I HAVE TO WRITE THE DAY DOWN I NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO DREAM BIG MY DEPRESSION GOT IN THE WAY. MY MOM BOUGHT A HOUSE WE COULD LIVE IN THAT WE CAN AFFORD. WITH MY PROBLEMS I GET A CHECK. I HAVE TO GO TO FOOD PANTRYS AND FREE CLOTHING PANTRYS. WE HARDLY HAVE ENOUGH FOOD TO EAT. BUT WHEN WE DO GET FOOD I COOK GOOD MEALS. MY SON IS 19 AND I HAVE TO MOTIVATE HIM TO WORK MAKE MONEY HE DID GRADUATE.I STAY HOME AND DO THE THINKING OF MY LIFE. IT GETS STRESSFUL.
|Posted by Teddy at July 5, 2011|
At the age of 58 you'd think I would be riding high. I should be at the pinnacle of my career. My grandchildren should be a part of my life as I am still able to physically keep up with them. prevents me from seeing them. She sees it as a punishment to me. What right does she have to prevent the grandbabys from a relationship with a loving grandmother with lots to offer. I SHOULD be in California, my birth and childhood home. Instead somehow I have gotten mired in the pieces of a lifetime long gone. I am here in the midwest which is o.k. if your from the midwest. I have no REAL friends or family. My daughter has elected to live as remotely from me as possible and my son, well, he doesn't think of me often. Their father, my exhusband, taught them in their teens to not respect me and instead abuse me physically and mentally by encouraging disrespectful behaviour. I could go one but, why? So immediate family is outta the way. I have had cancer three times and underemployeed ever since my divorce and am at poverty level income. That is a real self esteem booster. Yet, somehow I have always remained spiritual and positive. But, lately it has been difficult to keep it up. I absolutely have "No one".
|Posted by anonymous at June 28, 2011|
Where do I start. Today, I realized that my life is ruined. I dropped out of college (university) after completing one year because I can't afford it. I am poor, I live in a one bedroom apartment with my 3 siblings and parents. We are so broke, we have been living here since I was four, I am now 18. My parents think that it is really difficult to move out, it is merely impossible for them to even think about it. They both claim to be unemployed because there is no work out there, yet they never go and apply anywhere! (so how do they want to get hired) and they will rather live off $300 unemployment checks. My older sister is the only one working. My downstairs neighbors are assholes and they always bitch when my 3 year old nephew comes and visits us because he likes to jump around. I am about $7,000 in debt with school loans and a credit card that I can't even pay off because I am unemployed. My goal this summer was to get my driver license but I haven't even practiced driving and every time I do practice my dad bitches at me because I am such a horrible driver. I feel like I am knee deep into a horrible situation that I can't get out of. I need help. I hope I see the brighter side soon.
|Posted by chris at May 31, 2011|
Some people have no idea what it's like to have no friends, no money, no sex life,no special talent, to eat bologna sandwiches and top ramen for every meal, to be depressed because you can't find or keep a job, to live in a run-down piece of crap place filled with roaches, to know that there are people in the world who are happy and content who have accomplished everything they wanted to; however,they look down on you and think you are a lazy bum.
I know I'm a loser. My family doesn't even give a shit about me. My stepdad is an asshole (but God has blessed him?)and everyone else ignores me. Sometimes I think I'm invisible. Nobody will even show up to my funeral when I'm gone. Nobody will remember who I was.
The funny thing is I'm one of the lucky ones. Most of the world is starving and suffering. What, then, gives me the right to complain? Maybe it's because my expectations are unreal because I see happiness all around me, but it escapes my grasp. Life is a bitch.
|Posted by letranger at May 26, 2011|
I am not pretty, not very intelligent, my family is not rich. i am the definition of ordinary. I have no ambitions in life, no interesting qualities. and yes i read all the shit about"oh every" is interesting and unique etc." not me. I finished college a year and a half ago and i still dont have a job, i am not looking for one either. i live with my dad, who is practically unemployed too. i am amazed how we afford to survive. we couldnt pay our bills so we dont have phone or internet at home anymore. Our house is like shit too. I never clean or tidy up, trying to make it even more depressing than it already is. We barely speak with my dad too. We didn't speak about my mom since she died 5 years ago. when i am outside, i play careless and happy like anyone cares, but actually i am all about worries and sadness.
|Posted by anonymous at May 25, 2011|
Well im not sure why the fuck im writing this, but here it goes anyway.
i was brought up being told not what i can achieve, but what will happen with my life if i dont, i was always made clear we were poor and could'nt afford what others can, there's nothing wrong with being told that but it got driven into me so much so that ive become mentally scared of life, i have extreme anxiety, cant talk propely and have been miserable all my life. This has obviously meant very little in terms of friends and no girlfriends.
ive managed to push myself through, im now 21 (22 tomorrow)and lifes been sucking for almost 22 years. It got worse 2 weeks ago, i got fired!!! from my first real job for making a stupid stupid mistake(very schoolboy), was getting paid about £375 a week (before tax), it was a great job and the company was one i could secured my future with.
Anyway, Iím not sat at home on my ass and so depressed that that my hairs falling out, Iím breaking out in acne and Iím getting liver pains (yes all are symptoms of depression)
I come from a poor background, my parents are getting old, theyíve looked after me growing up and they themselves have had a hard life and coming from poverty. It SHOULD NOW be my turn to look after them, so much pressure on my shoulders and ive known it my whole life, i frankly donít care about my welfare, but i feel like Iíve let my parents down.
The jobs market is so shit, it will be a long time before i find a job that pays anywhere near that and it will almost defiantly be a much harder job. Im just praying for any job right now.
God (i still have faith in you), guide me through these hard times.
|Posted by Jodie at May 13, 2011|
Life for me has become unbearable. From the day I was born I was destined to be in pain. While my mom was pregnant with me my biological father died in a freak accident. My mom, who had many demons, became a very bad alcoholic. My life was one crisis after another. By the time I was 10 I developed severe anxiety disorder. It would continue to haunt me for years along with severe depression.
There was a time I thought I had hope for a decent future. Despite living a life of abuse, chaos, tragedy and lonliness I managed to graduate with honours. I got a great job. But no matter how hard I tried to be "normal" I could not run from myself. I could not run from the horrors that plagued my life. Then the final blow - my mother died 5 years ago. She was just 47 years old. Despite the way I grew up, my mother and I were very very close and losing her killed me. Soon after I found myself addicted to oxycontin. What started off as the means to end the painful back problems I had quickly developed into an addiction from hell. I found oxy to relieve not just my physical pain but my mental pain and anxiety. Since then I have gone from bad to worse. I've isolated myself to the point where the phone NEVER rings for me. No friends, no nothing. The only thing that keeps me going are my kids. Thank God for them. Nothing else matters but them.
I live in poverty, am trying to straighten my trashed life out but honestly I just want to die. I don't want to wake up every day...
|Posted by Monster at April 15, 2011|
Well I guess I was foolish enough to imagine that some of you would be able to empathise with me and my plot in this existence. I thought that some would give me encouraging words. But, as usual, I was wrong. No I wasn't making my life-storey up. I was found in a back alley and the doctors said that I was "lucky" to be alive. I've never known who my parents were. I was put into an orphanage and placed into several foster homes, where I was verbally and physically abused. I eventually ran away from my last home and started living on the streets. I figured that's where I truely belonged. Being there I saw many horrible things. Even worse then the things I experienced. I saw a man get shot in the head, a women gang raped by six other men, a little girl sodomized... I saw the worst of human nature, or maybe I saw what humans actually are. I got a job and saved enough to get off the streets but can only afford to rent a small shack that is still boarded up (hence why people think it's vacant). There are rats in the walls and cockaroaches everywhere. I have some sort of condition and I feel pain all over my body, even to the point where start screaming and crying. Whenever I'm out in public I conceal myself by a larg raincoat, a hat, and sunglasses. I don't like people looking at me. I do like a girl and have for some seven odd years but it's wrong for me to like her (she doesn't know me or I her and am just a monster unworthy of love).
|Posted by Out Of Hope at April 10, 2011|
You know, "no matter how bad you've got it there's always somebody out there who's got it worse", that's what iv'e been telling myself for years in order to pull myself together whenever i was feeling down, but that doesn't work any more, now, my story may not be as bad as some posted here, but it's pretty damn bad nonetheless, for even as i write this i'm one day away from being homeless, and that's just the tip of the iceberg, i haven't had a job since 1998, i haven't had my own place(technically)since 2001, when the economy was booming for everybody else me and my family were struggling like hell, living in a car in rest stops, and bouncing around California, living in homeless shelters and getting help from people every now and then, in 2003 we were lucky enough to have a place to stay at my mothers house, it turned out good for both parties because she was sick and we needed a place to stay, so we were helping each other,she died in 2004,and we struggled to keep the house but lost it in 2006,and once again we were homeless,at that time my family split up, one child stayed behind in order to graduate from high school, one child went to Washington State to live with relatives, and the other child went with me and my wife to live in Las Vegas with my sister, at that point i was feeling optimistic,i was told that Vegas was a booming city with plenty of work so i was eager to get there and get back on my feet, and for about the first four months everything was looking up,...
|Posted by Fuck This Gay Earth at April 5, 2011|
Holy fuck, where to start? First off, my neighbors are meth-addled rednecks who are running a toxic waste dump mere feet from my house. They run junky, broken down equipment at all hours of the day and belch black fumes into my windows. There's another junkyard across the road and more meth-heads down the road. My house is falling apart, the windows leak, the floor creaks, there are silverfish and piss-ants everywhere. My stupid dogs piss all over everything and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't even move since I own the dump. I lost my job and since I'm in college now I don't have time to look for a new one.
Speaking of college, I'm a senior now. I'm not sure I'm going to get my diploma because no one ever tells me anything, I don't even know what my grades are. I'm painfully shy, entirely uninteresting, and have no self confidence. I'm 24 and I've never been on a date, had sex, or really had any kind of a relationship at all, meaningful or otherwise. I can't even fall back on my family, because most of them are dead. I've fallen in love twice, both times it's been completely unrequited because both times it turns out they were engaged to someone else. The first time didn't bother me too much. The second time was murder. Do you have any idea what its like to meet someone who's totally one of a kind, just the perfect complement and find out you'll never, ever have even the slightest chance? My whole life is completely fucking pointless, there is no meaning to anything that I do and no one will ever care about me.
|Posted by DID IT TO MYSELF at April 3, 2011|
well i vaguely remember what it was like to be happy feel normal and felt like i had a good shot at a decent future but thats all pretty much gone now. 6 years of meth abuse will take care of all that pretty quick. lost my job recently now im unemployed and cant even afford the one thing that makes me a little happy for a short time, its for the best obviously. i live in a disgusting garage full of bugs, mice, and dog shit because of my two dogs that live in here with me. i have applied for countless jobs but no one even calls back most likely because of my criminal history which mostly consists of addiction issues or my work history and actually im a good worker and can hold a job for years but eventually it ends in a bad way. i cant get into the military i cant donate plasma or sperm i am on vision card money just to eat. i know the people who live in this house do not want me here and are always bringing me down. my car is about to crap out. my teeth are screwed up now thanks to the drugs, my stomach always hurts and i have diarrhea often. i had my last job for 6 years and made 12.50 an hour. i used to think my 3 to 400 dollar a week paychecks sucked and could barely make it through the week. now i'm getting by on maybe 10 or 20 a week if im lucky. i dont want to kill myself and i dont want to die however i do wish i was never born. regardless life sucks big time.
|Posted by Ron at March 27, 2011|
Well, after much contemplation, I have decided that tonight, Sunday, March 27th, 2011, will be my final night upon this world. I'm just board with my life and see no sign of change in the future and no reason to continue. I'm 46 years old and haven't really lived at all. I've worked a meaningless job for the past 20 years that bearly just pays the bills and due to these "tough economical times" things have gotten even tighter and I fear I may lose my job this week. The water has already been turned off and I wouldn't be suprised if the power goes off while writing this. My landlord said that he's had enough of me and is looking for any excuse to evict me. Well it just so happens that I also don't have money for this months rent. So this week I shall probably lose my job and get kicked out onto the streets as well. What a joke my life is. Not that it isn't my fault. I had dreams when I was yonger but I've slowly woken up to reality. I had a good childhood but a... not bad, but just meaningless -- adulthood. I always wanted to be a writer but never got around to pinning anything down. I haven't had a real friend since high school and have never had a special lady friend. (Yes, if you must know, I am a virgin). I've never drinked or smoke or have done any drugs (accept medecations for my joints). All the fun stuff I see people doing -- I just can't get involved in. I've realized I've wasted my life, and at 46, there's not much hope of starting over. So after I submit this I am going to hang myself. Just remebmer that Ronald Joseph Evans was here.
|Posted by anonymous at March 27, 2011|
--I'm 13, and what can i say...My life sucks ass. Both of my parents are divorced, and i live with my mom. My mom = Her BF lives with us. Thus my mom Drinks and smokes Alot. Thus she has got some problems with her heart that she isnt telling me. My dad - Lives in another country, has another family there. He visits me maybe in like 6 months for like 2 days.
-- I hate going to school, i just hate my classmates. They can't leave me alone for like 3 minutes. By that - they talk shit about me, make fun of me, etc. Sometimes i wish i would just punch them in the face and beat them up real bad. But i never resort to violence. So at school - I go, i study, i get picked on, i do nothing.
-- It really isnt any better at home. I'm kinda poor, and i hate it so much. My mom doesnt work at all, she just buys herself more drinks whenever we have got some money, only her BF works, and still the pay is very minimal. I do get money from my father (something when parents divorce, he has to pay each month a specific sum of money for each child, forgot what its called). But still, we are in debt.
-- I Do never get out of house really, i don't have many friends (5 or so), and the only time i do get out, i go to my training (rowing), and then i have to return to my warm, fuzzy 'home'. My sister lives with her boyfriend, and i do rarely see her anyways. Thats just in short. It's probably more worse.
|Posted by FedUp at March 15, 2011|
Iowa sucks. My life sucks. It has for two decades now. I keep clinging to the hope that it will get easier and my dreams will come true; but working two crappy jobs and living in the middle of UGLY cornfields (MUD, since it's winter and the retarded farmers tilled it so more topsoil can erode into the Mississippi and/or blow in the wind since there's practically no trees to act as windbreakers, let alone any other wildlife) makes it depressing to go outside in the either too hot/cold/windy/stormy weather.
My jobs suck because I don't have a degree (but then, my boyfriend graduated from prestigious private college suma kum laude ..sp?... and his jobs suck too.) we both work two jobs so we can make enough money to pay our bills and maybe save up to get the hell outta here...until something breaks!!! Ugh! I can't STAND the ppl at my part-time job!!! A bunch of LOSERS!!! why do so many people here use drugs?!? I'm talking meth, not merely pot. 96% uses pot regularly. I wish more random drug tests would occur so these "people" lost their jobs. There's plenty of DECENT people looking for work. Then at my other job, before I got depressed, people were annoyed by me because I'm happy? WTF....why is negativity contagious but a positive attitude just breeds contempt in others and a will to destroy your life?!? I hate people. I hate it here. I want to move west closer to the Pacific Ocean....where people are more like-minded with me (on a good day...)
|Posted by anonymous at March 12, 2011|
Despite the massive effort i've put into life i'll likely never make anything of it do to my declining mental functions.
I grew up poor. so poor that their were times that we lived out of single-room motel rooms in the worst areas. at 16 i was homeless for a few months even. I've never been able to make good friends with people. I've had friends, sure - but never ones good enough to even help out with simple things, like moving to a new place or coming to a birthday. merely acquaintances really. I grew up with massive ADD, and this was back when that wasn't something every one had. I eventually simply stopped going to school altogether. despite these shortcomings I pursued my GED and went to a community college, and eventually graduated with an engineering degree from a state college.
Pulling myself out of pure poverty to complete 6 years of the most intense college education one can receive, and working for 5 years afterwords ... and I'm no better off for it. The engineering degree that has taken me virtually no where (accept some 30 grand in debt). due to the economy there simply aren't jobs out there. At least not ones that offer anything more than what i would have made as a garbage man. But, what else can one do. just shrug it off and go to work. The people i know from back home who have not even a high school diploma are better off, in every sense of the word. especially considering that while i was putting myself into debt for coll...
|Posted by HDM at March 10, 2011|
MY LIFE SUCKS FORREAL!!! I'm 15 and I have lived in poverty for 5 years.5 YEARS!! We left Cincy in 2006 and moved to tha asshole capitol of tha world, Alabama. Everybody at my school hated me and thought that I was a retarded dumbass. What buncha lame ass niggaz. I couldn't stand getting up in tha morning, just tha thought of it made me sick. We lived in an old, run- down apt. with no furniture and couldn't afford any clothes of food. We slept on airbeds. There were roaches everywhere. I was sick.But we finally left that terrible lifestyle in 2009. We had no idea what was in store fo us back in our hometown of Cincinnati. So we arrived in Cincy in early 2010 and I was in the 8th grade. I hated my new school. Everybody thought I was lame and dumb,nobody cared. There were many times during tha school year that I wished that I could die or shoot or stab myself in tha heart. But things go better at school, not a whole lot tho, and graduation was sweet. But tha whole summer was spent driving around places that put you in a run- down apt. somewhere badd. I couldn't stp thinkin about tha 8th grade graduation and how awesome it was, nor could I stop thinkin about tha school I wanted to go to in August. August came and I got to go to my school that I thought that I would like...for 5 days. Then we had to move to Kentucky across tha river and I had to go to a terrible prep school. I was still poor, we were living in a run- d0wn hotel with 22-year-old matresses to sleep on. My famil...
|Posted by no_innocent_canuck at February 22, 2011|
yeah it sucks...
that's when you gotta pay for your own food, your own gas, your own cell phone bill, your own clothes, and then I get a car, and then on top of that, gotta pay insurance, and on top of that, gotta pay rent, and utilities, and now I'm broke to the point where I can't eat anything but Top Ramen cuz that's all I can afford
|Posted by Renee .. at February 19, 2011|
ok well i dunno how to start this so yeah.
i grew up physically and mentally and sexually abused by my dad untill i was 13 when my mum finally kicked him out of our house.
i was bullied since then.
i am now 15 turning 16 this year, we live in poverty, we trick the electritian guy into not cutting our power off even tho we never pay the bills cos we can't afford them.
we are struggling to pay rent and i think we might be on the streets soon.
i live at home with my 13 year old sister and my mum.
she neglects me and my sister and litterly never talks to us.
i quit school at 14.
i have asthma which is quite bad cos my mum smokes cigerettes in the house, which has made me go to hospital alot cos i have asthma attacks.
i have anger problems, deppression, and severe anxiety. and i think i might have adhd.
my mum smokes marijuana in the house as well.
she neglects me and my sister and i've contemplated suicide too many times to count. i've also tried killing myself by smashing my head against the wall..it didn't work.
i did it infront of my mum and she didn't even care.
i still don't go to school even tho its illegal not to.
mum never buys us food, we've been living off food stamps our hole lifes, we get new clothes twice a year at the most.
when we do, its from the op shops.
our house is unclean and unhealthy and we get sick alot, my mum doesn't do anything about it.
what really hurts me is that she DOES work, but she spends all her money on drugs.
all i normally eat is bread.
i think she is selfish and i dont know how much longer i can live like this, and why God hasn't helped my life get better yet.
theres alot more about my life i could right about but its too deppressing.
thanks for reading. x