|Posted by PooponShit at March 25, 2012|
For starters, I'm a 27 year old male. I've been told I'm attractive, intelligent, confident, and quite charming, however I can't maintain any sort of friendships or intimate relationship. I'm not socially awkward, and I'm a pro at flirting and maintaining witty and engaging conversations, but I can get a little standoffish around ignorance and stupidity. Apparently I have a lot of "depth" to me, so I grow bored with people quite easily. Intelligence can be both a curse and a blessing. However, I believe a lot of it stems from my beaten and abused past that I sustained from both my family and my peers. I'm that battered dog who's hair stands on end when the wrong words are said, or the wrong questions are asked. If you get to close, I just might tear out your throat (no, I'm in no way physically or verbally abusive; I always turned the other cheek). I've spent the last 7 years in counseling and on a slew of antidepressants. I'm cool, collected, and extremely stable, but sad and lonely. I'm truly my own best friend. I do everything alone. I go to the movies alone, eat alone, hike alone, run alone, bike alone, spend holiday's alone, and I've even spent a few birthdays alone. It's going to take a special individual to get past my guard. In regards to that, I speculate from time to time if some of us are destined to die alone, and I believe I could quite possibly fall into that tier. Only time will tell.
I graduated last summer from the University of Washington and I ...
|Posted by j at March 24, 2012|
I'm a 24 yr old Male who has been shy almost his whole life. befriending new people has always been difficult for me and I'm now at that age where I should be happy, I've just graduated uni, I have a good job and family are not so far away. But I just feel so lonely. All I need is a friend, someone I can acknowledge, someone who will acknowledge me, to ask how their day was, to be a good friend to keep in touch with.. \:(
|Posted by IAmCalamity at March 22, 2012|
I have been trapped in a wretched situation my entire life which, being only 19 years, is not yet long. Last year was to be the last year; the time which I had been waiting and preparing for had come. No, I do not mean suicide; I merely mean to refer to a course of events that would permit me to deliver myself into respite, the nature of which I shall not go into for the sake of brevity. Unfortunately, when the time did come, I was frustrated once more and nothing eventuated. Now I am still trapped and I fear I may remain to be trapped for some considerable time.
I had felt myself drifting away, I had long since been aware of the increasing gap, not only between me and society, but also between me and those directly around me.
I did hope to stagnate this process, even to reverse it.
But there will be no transfiguration.
I know this now as I sink further into my own depths, haplessly observing the faint and ever diminishing vestiges of my relevance glimmering quietly in the past.
Sometimes, when I slip beyond the realm of conscious oblivion, I rouse suddenly in the midst of nervous commotion, a silent dread roaring around me, a grimacing blackness.
These visitations of terror are brief and quickly dispelled by my desolation, though they would be sooner resolved by affection.
No, my loneliness is so intense as to be almost tangible; I want to be loved, I can not describe what it is to be regarded with such indifference...
|Posted by anonymous at March 22, 2012|
i am 24 male, i have a feeling like my life is passing by, all my friends are making new friends, and im like a puppy dog whos with them. its very difficult or even impossible for me to make friends, all the way through university i made 2 friends. no matter in what social group i am, at a party, at work etc. i am always the one who gets laughed at. its because im a NICE guy, i hate it. i have no social life at all, all i do is sit at home, go to gym and thats it. everything seems so pointless. i am a total loser, and everybody knows it, the few friends i have, they are all very popular, sometimes i wonder why they still hang out with me. oh yeah and i have never had A gf. its very difficult for me to go to public places like the mall, just walking on a crouded street, public transportation ....(i have social fobia). the f i wrong with me?
|Posted by anonymous at March 18, 2012|
I'm 17, middle class, my family's still together...barely, I have a group of friends, my parents make more money than most parents in my neighbourhood, I should be happy, I should have nothing to complain about. But I feel like shit, everyday.
Everyday I go through the motions of life. School is horrible. I get bad marks, I can't concentrate or "see" properly tho I have 20/20 vision. I think I have brain damage.
I have Social anxiety disorder, I think i'm psychotic, OCD. I also have severe DPD/DR which is the worst thing in my life, coupled with my extreme feelings of loneliness and feelings that I've damaged my brain. This is cause I've been on meds for almost a year, but also drinking a lot, taking cough syrup and smoking weed. I've been getting a weird reaction from Venlafaxine and weed, which leaves me feeling "dark in the head" as I describe it, and this time it hasn't gone away. It's been a week since I smoked with my cousin. I can't find any info on this feeling either. I wanna kill myself if this doesnt go away.
So I'm depressed, I have barely any real friends cause I've isolated myself from everybody because of my psychotic phase, my group of friends go against me when I complain about what assholes they are. The only people who are true to me I can barely talk to cause this DP/DR and Anxiety shit makes me feel like an awkward boring burden on them. So, I'm afraid of being alone, sorry, extremely paranoid of being alone in my life, of...
|Posted by anonymous at March 17, 2012|
I have been diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression and ADD since I was 13 and I have been placed in various mental hospitals and treatment centers throughout my life. I'm only 18 and I've already spent more than a year and a half in total in "loony bin" and I'm sure I'm not even close to being done yet. I missed the experience of a normal high-school and I will never know what it's like to have been a regular teenager. I thought I could turn my life around when I was applying to college but I had no clue what I was doing and no one helping me including my parents. My parents are total assholes who went through a rough divorce and my Dad constantly used me and my sister to get at my mom, including filing a false police report the night before I took the SATs. I have no money and no future and no one helps me because people claim that I'm very intelligent and simply don't apply myself. I don't have a drivers license because I keep failing the permit test and no one gives a dam including my Aunt who happens to be in Governor's administration. I spend most of days playing video games and surfing the web because I'm too embarrassed to hang out with former friends who probably would think of me as a loser anyway. Any ideas about what to do ? Because I'm starting to run out.
|Posted by anonymous at March 14, 2012|
I hate my life. Everyone else is great in my book and I just suck! I try to relate to people but I have no brains or social sense whatsoever. I lose all my friends and I've never had a girlfriend at all and I'm 32. I keep wanting these gorgeous chicks and I don't even make a move because even I have enough sense to know there's no chance. But I don't have enough sense to want whatever chick would be good for me. There's nobody for me. I have two jobs I'm failing at because I'm just brain dead and still I have no money because they are both dead end jobs and my living expenses are too high; mainly because I buy crap. I suck with money. I've only been laid once and I couldn't keep it up which was humiliating, she was nice about it but I felt like crap. I walk out the door everyday and it feels like the world is caving in around me. I watch people talking to each other and I can't do the same, my personality sucks and I can't hold a conversation that well. I drink too fast and usually end up embarrassing myself or throwing up, I threw up in the urinal at my sister's wedding and they had to call out an emergency plumber in the middle of the night! I just hate my life!!
|Posted by Another day at March 14, 2012|
23 years old .havent completed univ in last year but feel like it's going down.I don't knw what I am going to do with my life as what I studying I have no passion for.I don't knw what my passion really is traveling .II feel hopeless an useless.I constantly feel nervous and anxious.People say ur Nothing and will never make any money if u don't have a university education.
I feel lonely like no one understands me.The best time is when I go to bed at
Night it takes me away from my sadness.I feel depressed
I wish I could smile again and feel positive but I just don't know how to
anymore.Every second day or so I feel like hanging myself from my shower head
With my bed lininen or when I'm driving crashing into a wall.
What am I doing here I feel useless.I feel like everyone is judging me and talking behind my back saying how useless .it's taking a toll on me emotionally I feel so empty inside.
|Posted by anonymous at March 13, 2012|
I am a 27 year old female virgin, still living with my parents, I can't drive, and have never lived on my own, or been on holiday on my own. I have never had a boyfriend or dated any one, as I get older all I do is watch other people be happy with each other and wondering why I must be singled out as different, i can't talk to anyone about this as there is no one who will relate, to be told that I am attractive, good looking, it just leads me to thinking that I must be ugly on the inside to be repelling people away, guys stare but they don't approach, and I have tried to be more active in this, by striking up conversations first, smiling back, but I never know what to do beyond that stage and it never progresses to a phone call, I am an antisocial person by nature, so I am out of my comfort zone in this, although guys like to think women have the power in regards to sex, we really don't, society dictates that it is the man who should make the contact, as a woman you have to play games to get a guy to "chase" you, and you have to do it the right way: come on too soft and they won't get the message, come on too strong and they think you are desparate, I never realised trying to be happy was so hard. I am not defining my happiness on another person, but it is nice to atleast experience a moment with someone. To have someone, even for a short time, think that you are worth something.
That's only one problem, which I guess could be related to a wider problem of gene...
|Posted by anonymous at March 13, 2012|
I really hate my life. Everytime I try I just always fail. I'm really hideous, very unattractive. I look like a freakin' transvestite donkey witch. I always have this permanent scowl look so people don't come near me.
I'm a stupid complete moronic douche bag that always seems to make an ass of himself infront of others. Whenever I try something it's almost certain that it would just make me look like a dork. I always embarrass myself even on small things. And so people make fun of me and shoves me away.
I have no skills. I'm no good at anything. Sports? I have asthma and very weak stamina. Tried doing some and unsurprisingly, I failed miserably. Music? No! How about the traditional book smart? Of course not. I suck. I'm always the last on my class. I try and try just doesn't cut it. I study hard but my other classmate that didn't even study get higher grades than me!
I have no friends! Literally! Yes I don't. And this perhaps affects me the most. People who doesn't have skills, talent or whatever at least have friends. They always do that's why they recover. I DON'T!!! I somehow repel people away it sucks so hard. Whenever I try to make friends it just doesn't last. They'll eventually find other people and ignore me completely.
I always try to think positive about making friends. Like in elementary. It was okay with me because I know I still have highschool. I entered highschool and ended it miserab...
|Posted by anonymous at March 12, 2012|
Seconds tick by. My alarm clock slowly flashes a new minute, then a new hour. Everyone and their mother is sleeping and here i am, awake again. Its been three days since my last inbound call, and I'll be damned if it wasnt a butt dial. The one friend i did have is fixing his life and sorting it out.. without me this time. The pack of cigarettes i smoked today made me feel better for a wbile... but now i'm broke as a joke so no more pot or cigarettes to keep me from myself. This is the sixth day of near sleeplessness... and the third that i stifle sobs so as to not wake the family.
Every day i look for a job, i try to meet new people, or reconnect with old ones... being a high school and college dropout doesnt help my case any. I lost most of my friends aftwr my first suicide attempt... the shelf i hung from gave way to my weight, so they thought i was craving attention... my family doesnt know. 19 years into this adventure called life.. 6 phone contacts, my v card, and i havent yet broken a bone. The saddest part to me is that as a reasonably bright 19 yo i cant figure out why i am the messed up one.
My ADHD on top of other things is a daily impediment. I try to communicate but my mind is too fast for my mouth and i get jumbled up... this makes it especially difficult to reach out to loved ones and friend.. in fact this is the first anyone knows about me being less than content... i guess i can pride myself that far.
Every waking moment for two years of my life has been for drugs or another person... but drugs lost their fun and newness and people slowly dissolved away.. which brings us to now.
I am G.R. Wilson, 19, jobless, directionless, and looking up self help forums on Google.
Who are you?
|Posted by anonymous at March 9, 2012|
I'm 21 and I go to a really great school. The problem is that I have really bad depression and social anxiety, and my friends don't seem to get it. They boss me around, take advantage of my kindness and tell me that I am "toxic." Sometimes I can't help being sad. I try to hid it but its just who I am. So, basically I'm terribly lonely. Also, I'm perpetually single and can't seem to find anyone that wants to be with me or that I'd want to be with. Everytime I find a guy that I like, I try my hardest to pursue them but they either lead me on or are just plain uninterested. I'm not unattractive, in fact most of my friends think I'm very pretty. It sucks because I know I have a great personality, but when I'm around the opposite sex I clam up and literally cannot say anything witty or "cool." I've been skipping classes and sleeping alot. I'm worried about my mental health, I would transfer, but my grades aren't good enough. I don't know what to do, I'm at the end of my rope.
|Posted by j at March 5, 2012|
I'm 22 and I have no friends. I haven't had any friends for the past 4 years. Looking at my contact list on my phone, there are only 3 contacts...my mum, dad and the house phone. I go out on Friday nights just to stroll around town and look at everyone else having fun. I stay in on Saturday's and just read books or watch documentaries. I have no one to talk to.
I'm broke. I have £1.50 in my purse right now. No bank account as I got scammed on gumtree.com...so my bank closed my account when the cheque bounced, and now no bank will let me open an account. I will never be able to get a loan or a mortgage. I have student loan debts and a biology degree which I can't even get a job with.
I can get guys but as soon as they find out I have no friends, they run. It's not normal to have no friends at 22, after all. Can't blame them.
My dad is always rude to me, calling me names and shouting at me for no reason. He's fake in front of his friends but as soon as they go, he ignores me unless he wants to shout and verbally abuse me or tell me to fuck off.
My mum is ill. She has had many cancer scares over the years as it runs on her side of the family. She also has a bad back and joints. It makes me feel so horrible...she deserves the best yet she has a piece of shit like me as a child. I would have killed myself long ago if it weren't for her. She told me she couldn't go on if she didn't have me. If it weren't for that, I'd not hesitate to kill myself right now.
|Posted by anonymous at March 1, 2012|
So, I'm 24 years old. My life is going nowhere.
I have the social skills of a one year-old.
No love and it's especially complicated with my being gay and all.
I don't have too many friends or one that is considered to be the best, having a trust issue to confide in anyone.
I'm not keen on my appearance either.
I have no job at the moment and no one would hire me, as for school - I'm intrested in only two majors - while one isn't even being taught at the university which I will never be able to admit because of my low score at the SAT.
My relation with my family members is weird to some extent and my head's full of disturbing thoughts that keeps me awake at night, turning from side to side.
I also lost my belief in god and rendered myself an Atheist.
No cruel sadistic bastard could allow all the bad things that happen in this world and if so, he's far from being a knowing-all.
I really would like to state something positive, but the only thing I have is my health and the ability to see the sun shines.
I would also like to tell myself that it's just a bad temp situation, but nothing budges.
|Posted by c at February 28, 2012|
Well..being an ugly pear shaped woman who is below average in every way humanly possible doesn't help. Also the fact that people around me seem unhappy with their lives or the fact that they truly deserve better or a lot more in life. I hate the fact that local politicians and the like have made decisions that had already negatively affected the community just for the selfishness of a special interest group. I literally feel a bit sick everytime I need to go out especially in the summertime. I no longer feel comfortable being with people but I do things that involve them i.e. work/volunteer etc. because I have no choice being that I am also not rich or a genius. I could have all the intention, ambition, drive and so forth but it is nothing when I am and have nothing to make it happen. What is worse is that I have no means or power to help anyone else. Even though my health is not 100% and don't have the optimum fitness/energy levels, I can still move. Each day at some point I feel like I am just marking my days and waiting to die because there is no way now that I can achieve anything let alone make any positive difference for anyone else etc. Worse still knowing that many others may feel/experience the same or worse than I do - just sucks.
|Posted by loner91 at February 27, 2012|
My dad was an alcocholic. When he started drinking he wouldnt stop for 1-2 weeks 4 3 days was the minimum he would be drunk. Come home drunk yell at my mom,my sisters, almost every night we would run away to my grandmas or sometimes just wait till hes sleeping and sneak back in. My mom has such a good heart. When hes sober she would forget about it and move on, and expect another day just like described. Been going on for 30 years. When I was 12 I moved to states, kinda sorta illegaly, stayed there 7 years. First 4 years i made no friends, i stayed at home and did nothing but played games like runescape. junior in highschool i started going out and made a few friends, but when we did have a party, it was always a cock fest. One day my friends were over and my pos came home drunk as shit started screaming and yelling at me i pushd him over and they ran away. We were still friends, thank god. I feel like nobody likes me, accept a few ppl, i think everyone is fake and talks behind your back how much of a loser you are. I went back to my country after 7 years, everything sucks, I feel like i dont fit in here, ppl are selfish and rude. Again i stayed home day and night went out a few times with old friends, but i feel like they dont want to talk to me. Left to england, i was a cleaner, got fired, unemployed on benifits, got some part time job right now, but theyre not calling me cuz tehre is no work. I stay at home and play xbox all day. Some days i dont even say 10 words to a...
|Posted by digdogdig at February 26, 2012|
All suffering is relative, and we can only pretend to fully understand the plights or joys of our peers, but hears my story nonetheless. I'm 22 years old, and for the majority of the past 10 years I've felt numb about my own existence. I learned through experiences during my childhood that no matter how hard I tried, or how optimistic I was about being excepted socially, I just couldn't safe myself from what seemed to be my fate. As a youth I was constantly teased, shunned and picked on by my classmates for the first 16 or so years of my life. Because of this I quickly developed a very negative and introverted personality as a defense mechanism, a means of protecting myself from the constant volley. I gave up on dreams and aspirations, and can safely say that everything I've done over the past 6 years has been to please other people: going to and graduating college, my job, my fake sense of contentment I wear in public, all for other people, and for I awhile now I've been okay with it. Going through college I didn't make any friends, and so had plenty of time to dive into my head and try to find a solution or at least a reason for why? Why can't I be happy? Why can't I make friends, Why can't I find someone to help carry the this weight with me? After long nights thinking of these and may other problems, I decided to forgo them and just settled on being content to be miserable. This apple chart was over turned about a month ago when I was introduced to a girl named Ashley...
|Posted by anonymous at February 22, 2012|
I'm 19 5'4 and weigh 95 pounds... I have a social disorder which makes me afraid of being in public places so its hard for me to get or keep a job. I feel useless, scared and alone in life.
|Posted by smouldering at February 22, 2012|
i am a 21 year old first year medical student. i just passed the nursing licensure exam last july 2011. From pre-med, I had to go straight to med school before taking the nursing board exam... thankfully, i made it. Anyway, I really want to end my life right now. I know I am only first year, but I just feel that this calling is not for me. I have told my parents about my frustrations in Med school, because one of my main problems is fitting in with the crowd. I am a very shy person to the point that I'd rather be alone than be involved in an awkward conversation that's very uncomfortable. I don't have any classmate or groupmate that I consider a really close friend. I'm such a loser. I always sit in the back, with no one beside me. I am such a loser. Aside from that, I am very mentally challenged lately. I cannot focus whenever I study. I feel so dumb, that even if I have to repeat what I read for 5 times, it won't and can't stick to my brain. I feel so useless... I have a boyfriend. I think he is the only one that inspires me to go on with Med school, although I think that that reason is insufficient for me to stay. Bottom line is, my parents won't allow me to stop. My grades are super low, and it's not really affecting me that much, because I am not that interested in becoming a doctor. Why can't they fucking understand this shit! What kind of doctor would I become if I hate my job. I want to help people, but not as a doctor. I can barely pass first year, and fuck! the...
|Posted by Harvey at February 19, 2012|
I doubt anyone will read this or really care but it's all getting too much now. I'm 20 and in uni, I should be having the time of my life but i'm not. I have a few close friends but it doesn't feel like they understand, they nod and agree when I tell them i'm down or i'm having a tough time but it feels like they just see me as another "dramatic teenager". The truth is everyday is a struggle, I have social anxiety and depression, I really struggle with anything social out of my comfort zone, I prefer my own company but even that gets me down.
I just don't understand that if this is our only shot in life why would it be this hard?